Sunday, July 31, 2005
. . .

im bored. im sick. im screwed. . .
besides crackin ma head to do dnt, boredom is all im livin with in here. . .
i wanna go out but i cant. . .
not dat i cant, i dun wan. . .
coz im juz lazy. . .
yes. . .
im a lazybum. . .
dats wat i m. . .
its in ma blood. . .
wat can i say?
anyways,
life for me is suck. . .
i wanna die but ppl wants me to live. . .
i wanna go but ppl wants me to stay. . .
is dis wat they called, 'love'?
tell me about it. . .
i never know wat love is until arfah came up into ma life. . .
really. . .
so, which one of you, who's not arfah, actuali showin me love?
do you know wats the meanin of 'love' actuali?
are you tellin me you love me?
let me tell you. . .
there's no reason to be loved but there's a reason why one shud be loved. . .
i know. . .
but do you all know dat?
so am i bein loved coz you have to?
or its for real?
tell me. . .
but i think im hatin you already. . .
hatred in me to you is developin caused by ur actions. . .
have you ever thought of dat?
me to hate you?
have you?
hate me pls like you dun need me. . .
or stop actin like you care. . .
and wud you stop not lettin me go?
i wanna go for a deep sleep. . .
so deep dat its hard for me to even wake up. . .
i wanna go miles away from bein livin. . .
so far away dat i cant find ma way back to life. . .
i wanna be free. . .
free ma soul from the life the body suffers. . .
but before i go,
i wanna have the last sight of the sunset. . .
the last mistake to be forgiven. . .
the last wish to be granted. . .
and the last moments to be with arfah. . .
dats all the last things i wanna do. . .
but, the question is. . .
am i really going?
will i be gone forever?
will i be dead?
and sometimes i do wonder. . .
dat is. . .
will i be dead for good?
or for the worst?
wat do you people think?
well,
tell you wat. . .
i dun fuckin care!
say watcha wanna say. . .
coz. . .
who are you to me?
friends?
family?
anybody dat ma life concerns you?
wat do you care about me?
wat dere has in me dat meet your needs?
who am i to you?
wat do i have dat concerns you?
why do you care?
coz im your friend?
well,
are you really?
as far as im concerned. . .
no one has even regard me as a true fren. . .
and you're tellin me im your friend?
is dis another lie dat i have to believe?
are you even sure im your fren?
even if you said you are,
im not gona believe you. . .
i hate you!
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i wanna go coz i have to. . .
but am i really goin?
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siow ah!
i still wanna enjoy life. so wat LIFE is SUCK? it is. i know. but, learn to live with it, damn it! and to you ppl who is startin to be believin of wat im sayin, you tot im for real? Crazy.
im juz crappin all along. . .
and you ppl actuali read all those stuff and started to be like, ''eh sial ah''. . .
hah...
wat are you thinkin of?
i still have arfah, mind you. . .
i still have ma frens ard. . .
ma 'fam'. . . rite. . .
but, the last thing i said i wanna do above is for real. . .
dat is, if i were to go. . .
to go, made by GOD's hands. . .
yea. . .
the above said bout frens are not real. . .
i do have frens n true frens. . .
but i duno wat im really bein treated. . .
hmmm. . .
some of the above said are for real and some are not. . .
up to you of which one to accept to be believed . .
i think im crappin all along. . .
and its bcoz im fuckin BORED!!!
its fun tho to write bout fictional stuff. . .
hah. . .
nwy,
ive been scolded seh. . .
by arfah. . .
*sob*
yelahyelah. . .
i'll move on wif life. . .
ok. . .
i talk too much. . .
confirm ppl scrollin sampai bawah giler. . .
haha. . .
screw you den. . .
takin care!
~dun mind me. im juz bored. ma entry sucks, i know. but i got nothing else to write about. only dat, i wanna say, I MIZ ARFAH! hah. . . rite. . .
.:Fadhli<32>Arfah:.

5:59 AM
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