today, as i walked to the interchange from home to take the bus to school, i came across this playground with a group of primary school kids. well, at the sight of them, flashbacks striked to my mind about those times when i used to wear shorts and those high socks to sch. ahaks. basically, i kinda missed those times of friends whom i always played catching, capteh, challengin among ourselves to run and wrestling. yes, wrestling! i still remembered i'd knockout for sometime when azam smacked me with his file. and, me and irsyad, going around doing the 'stone cold stunner' to other 'wrestlers'. ahaks. and we played it really dangerous, i tell you. till some blood do flow out. agagagagagaga.

ok. think back, ive alot of friends. from primary school, to secondary school then now, ITE. even those from other schools and my ndp friends. whoa! and the great thing is, we're still in touch. except from those in Ping Yi primary sch. of all, im only contacted with ONE friend from that school. and she still remembers me after 7 years. it's great to have someone that you familiar with and that particular person do recognised you too. and i thank god for that. but, lately, to my dismay, it seems like my long lost friends dont even recognised me. like, they give you one look and they said they know you when they're not. haiz. friends. . .

and, i must say, most of times, im always caught in the middle when it comes to a part that two or more situations comes in together at the same time. and i hate that. and i always wished that i could have a clone of myself. so that i could do many things at one time. or, that super duper agility power that clark kent have so that i could do everything at super speed. how cool it'll be. ok, maybe i watched too much of cartoons till im soo engrossed with them. =)

another thing, i missed someone that i myself never expect it to be. ahaks. guess that person means quite alot to me, even though that person is rather new into my life. hmmm. . .

today in school, werent really much to do. i came to school rather early and we only did our Multimedia Fundamentals and Digital Imaging. and after that, instead of having another 5 hours of the mentioned module, we gotta head down to the auditorium for this talk. it's borin alright. but thank to this that i only have a 'half day' for school. im like in no mood for school today. and i do realised that im lacking of discipline in punctuality. even my attendance. and almost every 'early' morning i will have that one of a kind look from mashita coz she always the one who wake up call for me and ended up, im still late as i always dragggg. hurhur.

anyway, tommorow, every school will be celebrating teachers day. and, for sure i'll be going down to my old school. and im expecting many people. especially HERNIE. serious sia, you better come! and blah3, after all that, i'll be heading down to Marina Square to have a feast at SEOUL GARDEN!! weeee~! im sooo looking forward for this. will be celebrating teachers' day with my fellow ITE mates and of course, Mr. Wong. im so thankful i have a teacher like him. and i never ever been rebellious to him, when i used to have in secondary. and to my surprise, i never talk back to him or even hates him. rather, i respect him more and ive never taken things for granted. the same goes to my other module teachers. ahaks.

guess im out now. i got some beats to do for some crews.
and yea, to anybody who's interested in writing their own songs but aint have those beats, you can email me up. im having a production. producing beats that is. =)
These How We Do It~

and to Joakim, dig your ears and hear yourself la...
some people ought to do something bout this. . .

to arfah, get well soon and i'll pray for a speedy recovery for you, which i have been prayin for many nights. heed those advice from the doc and ME and your friends seriously. and, health is the most important in life, more than anything else. rmbr that...

love!

i miss you..... . . . . . . . .

12:19 PM
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ok. so i got back from a camp for 3D2N, since friday. hell it was fun, altho there's some beef goin on around. when that strikes me that not everyone were in one heart and rumours started bout one story and another and ppl gossipin ard, i told myself i shud do smtg bout it. and i did. if i wudnt, i wonder up until when must dis be prolong... ? so, i made my move to have had everybody gather ard and have their say bout any misunderstandings and thank god it went well. altho there's some firm acts. but it was reasonable alright. i was happy that at least everybody made it clear. and i just hope there aint gona be another beef happenin ard among us...

anw, ystdy got speakeasy and I DIDNT GO FOR IT! great. but well, at least i got some updates rather dat im nt. i missed seein those ppl in local scene coz its been rather long since i went to gigs. and i missed performin. after my bro done with his N lvl, i promised Urbanize will make a comeback. . .

ok. im so freakin tired and slpy. hadnt really much slp thruout the stay. think back, for the two nights, i only slpt for 5hours altogether. this mornin i got some slp for like 3hrs. so, aint much for bein a survivor coz hidayat didnt slp almost every hour. crazy. furthermore, after all dis exhaustion, how it wud be nice to get home and get urself wash up and proceed to your bed and have ur most desirable slp. but unfortunately, i didnt get dat. i had to come back home and get ready again to go out to my aunt's crib for kenduri arwah. blah3, i ate for like 3 plates of rice as i was damn famished. den, blah3, time to go home. as i got home, den i washed up and now here i m and i'll be goin off to lalaland now!

tata.
=)

2:59 PM
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i hate this kind of feeling where you think that it's all fine and good but actually its not and its something that got to do with you. and that, you dont know how to do anything about it. you wanna face it and get it done and over with but the thing is, you just cant. suck it is but well, i know i suck.

so, yesterday, had this appreciation dinner for all of the motivators. indeed, it was rather sad. we had fun bout the games and stuff. and we got to dress hidayat up into a retro guy which turns out to be like elvis. ahahahahahaha. he like some sort like a gay boy sia. like dressin up all good to work at Changi village. ahahahha. k. im mean. sry bro but i cant help it!

so, those games were rather lame but kinda fun tho. at least it managed to pull off some hilarious moments. ahaks. and after all that, i had something for my cluster. i made this presentation - which took me like nearly 4 hours - for them for which consists of those moments of us when we're in our trainings and blah3. but on behalf of afiz and man, we're glad that it touched your hearts guys. razman were rather sad when he was doin his part of the presentation all alone that time.

so yesterday, it was the last moments we all motivators as one can ever be havin anymore. the journey has ended. and i just hope that we'll never lost in touch.

it just kinda funny when you think back bout it, in just a short period of time, you feel like you're in a circle of new friends that seems like you're close to them since childhood. and within that period that the bonds were so tight until you dont feel like lettin go the fact that we aint gonna be seein each other that much now, saturdays aint gonna be the same anymore and all. now that sucks.

and oh oh. i think my left arm is broken. great. i cant really bend it. coz if i do, it hurts real bad like thousands of red ants bitin ya. woohoo! the doc said its dislocated and blah3, but i think its more den that coz it seems like swellin more and more everyday. weeee~! dont ask me wad happen. it's just due to another stupid acts of mine. it was plain dumbness indeed. fad fad. . .

now im startin to think, what happen if im permanently disabled? gosh. i musnt think too much. future gona ruin of course but well, if this wad my destiny is, i cant deny it still. . . pray for my recovery. i need it. coz i need my arm for my daily routine. haiyaaaaa. . .


~first it was my right ankle, then my left. and now my arm. so what's next? cant life get any mean to me? just my luck. . . . ... rite.

2:58 PM
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National Day, its like four days ago. and like, im still in nowhere to be movin on. been picturin of those times since we all just got together and stuff until now that we have been so close. so close that almost everybody knew each other's secrets and even also, on Natioanl Day itself, almost everybody cried their heart out. and i still cant believe hidayat would cry too. after ndp thing, we all had our last moments at the field, along with some other motivators and participants. we danced and stuff, havin lots of fun. blah3, we headed down to the plc whr we always be seated at when we'll be waitin for our respective buses.

while waitin, my mentor, lim de, asked us to go to the front and have our last say or anything you would like to confess/say/tell to the rest. mashita went up first. next thing i knew, tears rollin down my cheeks. i cant hold it anymore. and i feel rather touched wen afiz started to say out bout the dream he had. fuckin hell. sedih sia. smtg got to do with me. and i cant believe dat it such a coincidence. blah3, i was the last person to say my final say to everyone. and so we hugged and all and everybody is cryin. sial ar. nadia and shita is like so teruk. den blah3, our bus came.

in the bus, everyone was still cryin. haiz. sedih2. den wen we have arrived at bishan - our drop-off point -, everyone decided to eat. while waitin for the others to plc their orders, i suddenly feel like smokin. and i did. so i went outside and smoke. ive no appetite den. i was alone and i was still cryin. den, razman suddenly came. sat beside me and he consoled me and he's still cryin too. blah3, afiz joined us. den suddenly, everyone came. ended up nobody eatin. and so there were silence for almost an hour, only to hear the cricket sound. den, i broke the silence sayin smtg bout us and the full moon. such a coincidence for full moon on National Day. nadia went cryin again. and den blah3, we all pumped up our balloons and hold it to the air. we let it go and that marks our togetherness despite how far we are. great moments there was.

as i got home, i cant really slp. been thinkin bout everything happened on that day. its like things happenin so fast. and i dun think it'll be any sooner im movin on. its like it happened juz yesterday. haiz. Estonia was the name of our cluster. and never thought i would mit great ppl. never been a borin day for me when im ard them. haiz. im gonna miss all those fun, those sarcasm, those laughter, those jokes, those teasin and those crapness. im gonna miss the 'fad and elmo' show thingy. ahaks. haiz.... gerek ar korang. thx for the frenship. and to all my mentors, thx for everything. the love, support, concern and moments. thx.

ESTONIA!

anw, yesterday, it was Sweef's performance. yea so i did came down and support. and so did my fam and some of my relatives too. they were pretty good. not dat im sayin it was dat bad but cmon, at least they managed to cover up frm makin it too obvious that they choked. many ppl did turned up for the event. but i must say dis, the crowd SUCKS BIG TIME!!! they aint showin any love to the scene. muthafuckin bias jerks and bitches. they came down becoz of their frens. wtf? you're in the scene and there's no love? typical malays. im so against dis. im gonna be dissin everyone anytime soon if no changes made. haiz. ok chill. im aite.

i noticed dat im at times such an emo shit motherfucker. ahaks. rite. anw, i think im likin fireworks very much nw. and i have to say, i've always find my life is such a bore. but, until i met those ppl in my cluster, ive never been so happy. but at the same time, how i wished spendin those moments with someone special. and seriously, they're the ones who's been fillin my life more full of colours. and of coz my old circles of frens too. and i swear i never shed bucket of tears for so long before. hmm. . . emo shit motherfucker. ahaks!

before i end dis entry,
to SHARIFAH FARHANAH,
HAPPY BELATED 17th BIRTHDAY!!!
never have i ever forget your birthday. =)

and to my dearest SHARIFAH MUAFAH BINTE MUSTAFA,
Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to FAFAFAFA!!!
Happy 17th Birthday to YOU.........................!!!
may wad you've wished for, came true one fine day. . .
weee~!

birthdays... i cant wait for my 18th. juz a few more mths now. weee~!
riteee.....

i still feel like crap. argh. . .

2:57 PM
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National Day, here i come!
oh i soo cant wait for this.
and i swear i'll cry too if i see someone havin tears later on since this is the big day already.
shits. this is it.
how i hope it'll not end.
how i wish this to go on and on.
too bad it can only turn out to be fond memories.
im soo gonna miss all the fun, the people, my mentors. . .

ESTONIA! ESTONIA!
forever will you still be remembered...

. . . . . . . . .

i swear that im not okay...
*this is IT guys . . . . .

To everyone, every Singaporean,
wish you a Happy National Day! ! !
=')

8:13 PM
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the first few photos were from Ria... =)
the plc inside were so awesome. we were all so excited and nervous when otw to mediacorp. hell yeah we had fun. got it on video bout our journey to mediacorp and the whole radio thing until we go our separate ways. cool it is. and to afiz and shita, yesahh. korang col. paiseh sak aku kat dlm studio. ahaks! to everyone - my fam, my ite frens, my ndp frens, my wrss frens, my wrps frens, and peeps in wgs and in simei ite frens, thx for tunin in ya. thx for the support. i knw its like late to say bout all of dis. but, screw you... =P


so ystdy, went out with the usual ndp suspects. pix uploaded aft 'mediacorp radio'. =)
crazy it was. went to changi hosp to visit aindil's mum again before headin off to esplande to witness fireworks from italy. met up with mizah at city hall and den off we go. ended up watchin those fireworks with only mizah instead of bein with the rest. coz, initially, they headed off ferz since ive to wait for mizah. we got separated den. and we met up again after the fireworks ended. great. even tho i missed the fun watchin with the usual ppl, at least someone is dere with me to witness those fireworks. =)

the intro of the fireworks were awesome with the three colours - green, white and red - the colour of the italy flag colour. den the finale, as always, fuyooh! hurhur. so happy.and! i saw ela dere! luckily she saw me coz of my superman cap. weee~! nice to c u beb! =D blah3, we head off to clarke quay for some photo takin session and our crapness. ahaks. den blah3, headed home. and guess wad,once im home, i washed my feet and change into home clothes and i straight went to slp. ahaks! and wen i woke up, i dun rmbr slpg in my room. rite....

nice outin ppl.
i had fun. did you?

2:59 PM
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so its been quite sometime. hello boppers. well basically, been lazy to update. been busy with ndp stuff since ndp is drawin near and of coz, school. =)

so, last sat, it was the ndp preview. hell it was fun. and guess wad! me and some of my clustermates are in the ndp booklet! haha. ela is dere too! haha. meanie ela. . . so, blah3, its quite mendak ar at my sector. with only ika i prefer to enjoy the show with. rite. zul is kinda belo to layan and like murugan, he's quite far from my allocated plc. ok, im mean. den dat colin is sooooo far from my position. baik ar. so me and ika did our plan. but, still, we arent really sure dat we're 'safe' to be out of our sector. riteee. pantat sia. and our mentor did saw us at the spectators area. haiyaa...

last friday, went out with hammy! so, it our first time goin out together. yup yup. went to catch pirates of the caribbean. it was hilarious indeed. and in the theatre, its freakin cold eh. before we went for this show, its like, we actuali supposed to watch the 3pm show instead of the 5.20pm one. well its becoz, i was late and mizah, im sry!!! fadhli is always late. =/ i treat you drink plak, or even makan, the next time we're goin out again. had a great time. and we were indeed kinda belo sia that day bout our frens. at first it was you, den me. haahaha! rite. we'll mit ard sunset one day. . . =)

im in sch now and im bored. have to do dis cisco thing, which, its the new module for this term. pantat sia. not even one thing i undastan sia. haish.

after dis, me, mashita and yat will be seein elmo, man, nana jurong, nana kechik, shikin and sape2 lagi to go to changi hosp. aindil's mum was warded. i'll pray for her rocovery dude. dont worry too much man. juz pray for the better. put your head up. have faith. =)

anw, ppl, tune in to Ria 89.7 FM tonight at 10pm. Urbanize will be featured with Fiza O! one of our songs will be playin. im excited but im soooo freakin nervous coz the fact that in times like interviewin, i'll always stumble. rite. i'll be looklin forward for who will be callin us tonight for some qtns. rmbr ya, 10pm!!!!!!! ish...
mizah... TONIGHT!!! TONIGHT!!!

love!

4:39 AM
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