ok. mendak is the word for today. seriously. the big headline of the day. im here all alone at home and IT IS SO MENDAK! while waitin for some miracle to happen here - hamizah, nick and diyana came to the rescue. well, just for some time though. then, its back to square one again. and fuckin bro went out, sayin he's workin but hell no he's not. leavin me behind all alone. sial ar. knn la. mendak kau tahu.

where's everyone at home and msn?? cmon. its just thursday sia.

mendak.mendak.mendak.

k la, im goin out. i'll try to look for people to make friends with.






love.

7:20 AM
0 heroic comments

i had a bad headstart for the day. my vision were twirlin and felt heavy as i raised my head. i aint knw why, i had a bad headache. soon, a date with the toilet bowl was made. twice, actually. and i threw up real good. it was relievin for the second one. felt a lil bit better when i realise it has been hours since i laid my head down. had only dinner as i cant seem to have any appetite earlier on.

anyways, yesterday was quite hell of a day. it was my cousin's engagement day. things were a lil messed up before the day started but its all good as everything worked in an impulse. kak nor's hantaran from abg es was full of chocs. and it's really temptin. if only i could have one. or ten! and abg es's card message for kak nor was really romantic. cool ar.

the day ended with me and bro had to cuci the periuk and all. its really a big -o- but what to do. we had fun anw. and yes, we were all crazy at that moment. cuci-ing and all were really kecoh. and yes, we celebrated her birthday as well in advance. it falls today! and the cake her friend made it for her was awesome i tell you!

critics were foretold too. well, maybe some people are just not bein appreciative. i didnt know someone we're quite close to is like that. i dont understand why this kind of people exist in this world, tryin to bring us down when the fact that they dont even know the root of the story and even worst, makin up some stories. wtf? conclusion; you know it best, so why care others said non-factual things to you..? right? you decide.

oh yes, urbanize's performances on last saturday were really great. super great. i like those lightings and SOUND SYSTEM at playden but not at Speakeasy. and the crowd at playden was abit dead. overall, i must say that the show is rather monotonous. too much of experimental performances. but the one at speakeasy, whoa, things are groovin smoothly man. i remembered smilin and winked to arfah when i was up on stage. and yes, congrats to SWEEF and WFM for makin it through the next round. im sure you'll do just as great. just do your thing and people sure will like it! i have faith in you guys and please, have sufficient time for practise. strive for the best in the finals! to Souless Passion, put your head up. maybe its not the time yet. you guys are as great, but maybe, not now. you can always try again. if its really your passion, dont stop it here. im sure you guys can go far too... =)

now people, i got another performance comin up. details, its on the bottom left column of this page. do come by if y'all free yea. it wont be a disappointin one, trust me.
and i'll be watchin TRANSFORMERS the next day! cant wait bebeh...
sweetheart, tell me if you can follow. =)





HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY TO YOU, KAK NOR!!!

*that's the engagement gift and birthday present from abg es as he never had bought her any flowers in their life before. cool siaa...... -sigh-





hope to see you tmw...
love.

2:59 PM
0 heroic comments

i woke up at 2pm today, at the wrong side of the bed along with a big headache. i was so agitated by the noise the kids are makin outside but just at the sight of syahmi enlightens me up. he came here with his spiderman suit. and he was lookin out for the spiderman mask that i kept. how cute.

ive been rottin at home today. and i didnt know i ate a nasi lemak yang dah basi. weird it was but it wasnt basi to me. oh well...

oh yes. it is here again. the same thing as last year. i have a show comin up and it clashes with my national day trainin. fucks. big time. im still contemplatin and up until now, i cant even make the decision. yes, this is so fuckin irritatin. can i just back out and go for the 30th one instead? fucks man. i aint know shit what to do.

for someone that matters,
i appreciate that you bought for me that phone. what matters me the most was that it was so nice of you to think about us when you're away. but thing is, i just cant bring myself to adapt to the changes. yes, i should try but i just cant and i wont. im sorry but i hope you understand. i dont mind even if it the oldest model ever but other than what ive been usin is not what ive been lookin for. thanks anyway. i appreciate it. really.

fact is, there aint anything to write about anyway. just waitin for colours to paint my black and white day. and damn, it rhymes.... =)

to the one i loved,
Happy 30th Months Anniversary.
Always & Forever, we'll be together...



im so the mendakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!
love.

12:50 PM
0 heroic comments

sometimes, i dont understand myself. and some things just need to stop. seriously, it's really a pain in the ass. period. and i cant stand myself bein in this way. maybe im envious to almost everything. and maybe im selfish, wantin to be the only one who's there to anything. its inevitable that negativity always conquers my mind. and i hate it myself when that happens. sometimes, things do aint goes the way i thought it was or things that i doesnt even know about and when i found out, i dont like it. i have the thinkin maybe im bein too much. at the same time, that's when the fuckin negativity comes in too. at times, i feel that im just not doin it right, only havin the risk of jeopardisin the relationship. or makin her havin a different perspective of me already. or not lettin her havin the life she wanted.

on the other hand, i think im doin the right thing. well, if things that your loved one would wanna do that you dont like, would you let her/him to? of course not. that's the thing. i duno how should i react at most of times. knowin myself, ive always walked away from it. coz im just scared that it might result in the wrong way. or like, who am i to actually stop her from doin things when there's actually nothin goin on around. i dun wanna make her feel like she's bein controlled. in the end of the day, nothing bein discussed. and hate that too. when shall i be free from this stupid negativity world? guess the first wrong step she took has permanently left me inside the cage. and so i was thinkin, am i still doin the right thing? am i bein a good bf for her..?

it has always been wonderin. and i guess, it shall always be...

realisin this, guess i love her so much and fear of losin her. especially the fear of havin her doin the things that i dont like, it will turn out to be so much more inside one day. too much? you tell me...



love.

7:10 PM
0 heroic comments

News Flash!
Laptop is back in action!
yes, truly happy indeed. its been like 235745128548151 minutes and finally, im usin it now!

so what has been happenin lately...

boy has been admitted for NS and was assigned to serve under Civil Defence. and i miss him.
and ive always been out lately. mostly, with arfah. talkin bout her, she has turned 17! it was on June 15th. and seriously, i feel utterly bad for not able to celebrate her birthday on the day itself. a kenduri was bein held and i had to attend it. sucky it was but family comes first. in anyways, ive make it up by bakin! thank god she like it. and the taste was.. err.. nice. at least that's what she said. =P

anyway, went to sentosa for our date and the day wasnt that bad afterall, even though it was drizzling. and we spent 6 bucks each for songs of the sea. while waitin for the show to commence for like in 3hours time, we visited azni's workplace; Images of Singapore. and it was great for the tour. weehoo! seriously sis, thanks!

well, i had fun takin pictures with all the statues. and hilarious moments too. it was all good. and arfah have seen the stupidest costume ive ever wear in my life. yes, it was the costume meant for the National Day Parade for this year. i still prefer last year's attire and dance moves. this year's, whack nak mampos.

ok so blah3, its morphin time! k mepek. it's time for Songs of the Sea! the show was effin remarkable and the settings, lightings, layouts, EVERYTHING! was totally heart-stompin and awesome! it was fascinatin indeed. i was blown away by the way they present the combination of water and lights. not to forget bout the abstract lasers too. it's effin great and worth every penny of 6bucks. this show is really an eye-opener for everyone. to those who haven been to the show, go check it out! call 1800-have-fun! ape je. -o-

ok. im lost of words already to write about anything. but one thing, i had a great time jammin yesterday. teachin that person to play drum was... kecoh. haha. its been long... thanks guys. and arfah's work for her dessert really looks yummy. yes, im droolin already. for the record, this song is meant for that someone i shared the moon with. =P

and the big headline for today;
SURAT NS DAH DTG!!

haiyoyo thambi...





love!
AF~Always & Forever .

6:03 PM
0 heroic comments

situation turns to complexity,
my thoughts were gettin jittery.
im glad the subject being brought up and discussed,
but it'll takes time for me to gain back the trust...

in class;
hidayat, huda, zaimi, shita, nad, azlan and me.
were shocked as i raised my head to look on my surroundings, there's only us left.

boring, yes indeed.
i have to finish up all those assignments that i havent done yet. and hell, its alot.
i didnt realise this. wtf.

exams has started anyway. yesterday was the first. well, it was ... ok. and my last paper was this morning. it was kinda tough. i just pray that at least i'll get a satisfyin grade.

and by the way, this saturday will be held at the floatin platform!!!
yea baby yea!

to Muhd Hidir,
happy belated 17th birthday bro!

love.

4:57 AM
0 heroic comments