hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

im so relieved.
ok, like, i've spent almost bloody freaking 12hours cleaning out every corner and every cabinet in the kitchen and im terribly worn out now. somehow, altho im exhausted, i just feel like updating my blog still. =)

so, this whole two weeks of this fasting month, i've been working my ass off cleaning up my room, the living room and now, the kitchen. and freaks, it's all massive cleaning sia. and i kept not having sufficient rest and all. damn, my back hurts like fuck right now.

but anyway, it's not only me doing the housework. did it along with sis this time round. cleaning up the room was only myself and it took me more than a week. too much documents and old stuff. and fucking bro not helpin me thruout. he with his 'mat rep' attitude and always tend to chill ard with his friends instead of helping out doin the housework. haiz. anyway, cleaning up the kitchen with sis was kinda fun. and we kept motivating each other to hustle and stuff the moment we're about to change into the ''lazy-mode''. hurhur. now, its all done. FINALLY! well, thanks to ciara too. ahaks...

why?here's the thing. basically, everytime my siblings and i, if we all were to clean up the house or whatnot, we'll always turn some hiphop tunes loud up thru the air. this how makes us keep goin on and on and on with the housework. seriously, it gave us some motivational support. it helps, really really. bout the ciara thing, we keep on playin the song 'Get Up feat Chamillionaire' and yeah, it keep us the willingness the kemas2 here and dere with those beats and flow. i loveeee that song sia. you will tend to get crunk yaw! ahaks!and watch the clip, it bloody bloody good lor.... agagagaga. =)

ok, so, the kitchen now - sparkles here, sparkles there. weee~! im so relieved. we kemas everything sia. since we've moved in ard two years ago, the stuff bein put in the cabinet aint really being sorted out well. so yeah, we've threw the unwanted ones and all nicely organised. and, it's all spick and span! im so happy somehow. its worth it. and already been getting ready the necessary stuff for raya. now im getting excited. ahaks. i tell you, i'll be going out confirm with alooooot of people. damn damn damn. but if only that someone will be there to be around me, i wont be tired going out always. hurhur. . .

anyway, yesterday, went out with the ndp people. altho it's not really in full strength of the malays, i had a great time with them. im really grateful and rather surprised that Lim De and Danny were present too when i was only told Estee would be tagging along. and the great thing is, they will be joinin us around for Hari Raya. total greatness! im sooo looking forward for this. they bought themselves baju kurung yesterday. and yea, it'll be more than just an outing for raya on that day for sure.

so we break fast at Mr.Teh Tarik Eating House. blah3, suddenly, to my dismay, someone had to go. then ended up, almost everybody had to go. and i've enjoyed so much that i wouldnt want it to end. seriously. it's like, it all happened so fast. i thought i would wanna spent much more time with them and catch things up but ended up, im bein only with hidayat. but at least there's someone. and the other thing, it would be so much great if that someone wouldnt have to go much early than we all expected. it's like too fast that you gotta go. hurhur. at least we could have much more time to talk and all. thanks for the hug anyway. =)

ok, im gettin slpy. seriously, im beat. and aches all over my body. i need some real good rest with a damn good body massage. hell yeah i need that!
but first thing first, imma have to bath before i sleep.
i stinks like a dead fish mixed with some expired foods and rotten fruits. . .
yeah... AS IF!
kiweeekk, rabak sak tu. ahaks!
till then, nites boppers!

one more thing,
i know it's like ive said it but,
Happy Belated 17th Birthday HAMIZAHHHH!!!!!
just feel like writin it in here.
hurhur.
a great friend she is. . .

love!


i miss you and i love you.
i love you and i miss you.
haha. siow...
bleargh~

get well soon.

2:58 AM
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it's pretty pathetic how life could get any mean to us. like, how sucks it would be if things were being jeopardised because of another thing when you're already comfortable with and confident about it. how easy can it be if every complexity in our daily lives could be solved so much in simplicity. i'd really wish for that. of course, one must presevere to achieve the things you always wanted. but, in some cases, can it all just get along well? now, beats me. i aint know what the fuck im talking about. but, im trying to make a point. think about it.

ok. a message alert tone woke me up this afternooon. thought i'll be waking up around 4pm or 5pm. but well, thanks to my friend that i got my ass out of the bed much early and that, i have more time to get the house cleaned up. yeah, we've start kemas-ing here and there and boy, it's exhausting alright. and knowing my room, hell yeah it'll take like forever to have it done. really. and i aint know shit why. it's been more then four days but my room is still nowhere to be near done. ahaks. but i tell you, i'll make my room like bammm for sure by the time it's raya. =)

so i had spent most of my time today having a movie marathon at home while cleaning up my room. since i transferred the dvd player from the living room into my own room, i kept on watching dvds that i have in the drawer and ive never watch before. so yeah, some were pretty boring but some, it's really awesome! didnt know i've got some great 'low-profile' movies here at home. and hell no it's piracy. straight up it's original. been enjoying watching movies alone so far. but then again, it would be much better if i'll be watching it with someone. really really. . .

anyway, two days ago, i had buka at my nenek's crib-mum's side. and hell, it was great. i mean, it always have been. the togetherness, the family bonding, the kids, the teens and the craps and jokes. haiz. every puasa, it's a must to be down at my mum's side. and it's been rather long i last saw them. then many things happen. one part, i asked everybody along for some games and yeah, it's all cute. hurhur. literally, every kid listens to me coz they treated and even called me 'Barney'. dont ask why as it's rather embarassing. agagagaga.

so some parts of the house is all cleaned up and i just cant wait to see the look of my home by the end of the day. and yea, with my room being re-decorated. weee~! and yea, have i told y'all my comp speakers now changed? it's a blast i tell ya. i really like it. the sound system is much more clearer and booming. i can now clearly tell that how is the reverbs or the flanger, the effects or the overdrives of my beat-makings going around. coolcool. thanks to dad.

you see, sometimes i finds it hard to believe. sometimes, your father can be such a pain in the ass. in other words, you're always fucked up. then you ended up locking youself up in your room, turning the stereo volumed up and would be throwing tantrums at things around you. or even, abusing youself. if that doesn't occurs to you, it is to me. and almost everytime i did this. sometimes without the music thing. and well, it's like im being traumatised. i kept on picturing how invincible i would be when im sooo angry and everything around me is all destroyed. like i once pictured the television set and comp is all wiped out. dang. i can be dangerous when im angry. seriously, its been many times ive broken my closet mirrors. but sometimes, instead of those mirrors, the walls became my victims till they bleeds.

fathers is always right. but sometimes, it's bull. why cant we even make choices when we know ourselves best? yes, we know you all always wanted the best for us but dont you guys even thought what might we feel when those things is not what we're lookin out for? and it's actually what YOU wanted, not ME. but anyway, how resentful it seems like i am, he's still my father. and sometimes, he's the best. and i finds it funny and hard to believe. haiz. i cant believe im saying all this crap. im out now.

before that, to those peeps taking N lvls,
GOOD LUCK!

and to FAEZAH,
Happy Belated 17th Birthday to YOU!
may your wish come true one fine day. =)




love.
and oh, i hate my life.
but i really like it when you are around me.

i miss you... . . .

2:59 PM
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