National Day, its like four days ago. and like, im still in nowhere to be movin on. been picturin of those times since we all just got together and stuff until now that we have been so close. so close that almost everybody knew each other's secrets and even also, on Natioanl Day itself, almost everybody cried their heart out. and i still cant believe hidayat would cry too. after ndp thing, we all had our last moments at the field, along with some other motivators and participants. we danced and stuff, havin lots of fun. blah3, we headed down to the plc whr we always be seated at when we'll be waitin for our respective buses.

while waitin, my mentor, lim de, asked us to go to the front and have our last say or anything you would like to confess/say/tell to the rest. mashita went up first. next thing i knew, tears rollin down my cheeks. i cant hold it anymore. and i feel rather touched wen afiz started to say out bout the dream he had. fuckin hell. sedih sia. smtg got to do with me. and i cant believe dat it such a coincidence. blah3, i was the last person to say my final say to everyone. and so we hugged and all and everybody is cryin. sial ar. nadia and shita is like so teruk. den blah3, our bus came.

in the bus, everyone was still cryin. haiz. sedih2. den wen we have arrived at bishan - our drop-off point -, everyone decided to eat. while waitin for the others to plc their orders, i suddenly feel like smokin. and i did. so i went outside and smoke. ive no appetite den. i was alone and i was still cryin. den, razman suddenly came. sat beside me and he consoled me and he's still cryin too. blah3, afiz joined us. den suddenly, everyone came. ended up nobody eatin. and so there were silence for almost an hour, only to hear the cricket sound. den, i broke the silence sayin smtg bout us and the full moon. such a coincidence for full moon on National Day. nadia went cryin again. and den blah3, we all pumped up our balloons and hold it to the air. we let it go and that marks our togetherness despite how far we are. great moments there was.

as i got home, i cant really slp. been thinkin bout everything happened on that day. its like things happenin so fast. and i dun think it'll be any sooner im movin on. its like it happened juz yesterday. haiz. Estonia was the name of our cluster. and never thought i would mit great ppl. never been a borin day for me when im ard them. haiz. im gonna miss all those fun, those sarcasm, those laughter, those jokes, those teasin and those crapness. im gonna miss the 'fad and elmo' show thingy. ahaks. haiz.... gerek ar korang. thx for the frenship. and to all my mentors, thx for everything. the love, support, concern and moments. thx.

ESTONIA!

anw, yesterday, it was Sweef's performance. yea so i did came down and support. and so did my fam and some of my relatives too. they were pretty good. not dat im sayin it was dat bad but cmon, at least they managed to cover up frm makin it too obvious that they choked. many ppl did turned up for the event. but i must say dis, the crowd SUCKS BIG TIME!!! they aint showin any love to the scene. muthafuckin bias jerks and bitches. they came down becoz of their frens. wtf? you're in the scene and there's no love? typical malays. im so against dis. im gonna be dissin everyone anytime soon if no changes made. haiz. ok chill. im aite.

i noticed dat im at times such an emo shit motherfucker. ahaks. rite. anw, i think im likin fireworks very much nw. and i have to say, i've always find my life is such a bore. but, until i met those ppl in my cluster, ive never been so happy. but at the same time, how i wished spendin those moments with someone special. and seriously, they're the ones who's been fillin my life more full of colours. and of coz my old circles of frens too. and i swear i never shed bucket of tears for so long before. hmm. . . emo shit motherfucker. ahaks!

before i end dis entry,
to SHARIFAH FARHANAH,
HAPPY BELATED 17th BIRTHDAY!!!
never have i ever forget your birthday. =)

and to my dearest SHARIFAH MUAFAH BINTE MUSTAFA,
Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to FAFAFAFA!!!
Happy 17th Birthday to YOU.........................!!!
may wad you've wished for, came true one fine day. . .
weee~!

birthdays... i cant wait for my 18th. juz a few more mths now. weee~!
riteee.....

i still feel like crap. argh. . .

2:57 PM
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