its been 8days. hmm..

anw, im stressed. phase test is cumin soon. and i duno will i pass. for INA class, it has never been a borin class once for me. all the time we will all learn how to make a website. chapter after chapter. and the more chapter we go, the more complicated it seems to be. hah. bleh naik giler sak... but it was fun la...

so, my day today has been a tiring one. had NAPFA test in school and been out with mashita, hayat and sheila to city hall. me and hayat are both juz extras. we were bored, had nowhere to go after the friday prayers. so we decided to juz follow her to mit her fren at marina square.

blah3, got dere, mit up wif mashita and we went up to the third floor i think. we went to dis outdoor area and once we're dere, a beautiful scenery cud be seen! it was awesome. cud see the esplanade and the sea frm the plc we lepak. the merlion and all. we chilled dere for some time and havin our cheese-baked rice as well. sedap sak! serious. u ppl shud try. blah3, headed home den.

and while otw home, dozed off in NEL and when i woke up, found myself alone in the train and was at Harbour Front station. haha! wth. took actuali one round of the whole stations in the North East Line. rite.

anw, finally! i get to see Mappy! went down to wlds yesterday to actuali mit my old clique of frens! how ive missed them so much. they were so shocked when they saw me. haha. i gave a good surprise. especially fafa. haha. miz you too, sister. and den lepak2 sampai mlm. dats wen i met Mappy. she is such a beauty. and i think im fallin in love wif her, like wan and apen did. she was close to wan seh and i was sort of jealous at that moment. guess becoz it was our first day mitin wif each other and the fact that she is not used to me yet. one day i'll make her be wif me all the time when im ard...

fcuks. ive got muscle pains all over my body seh. hah. and i mean, ALL over. well, im pretty sure it was becoz its been long since the last i have my body exercised. rite. sakit siow. and anw, some things im juz dun quite understand. ive been gettin critics and stuff , and people dont actuali know wat im goin thru either. and they juz bombed me wif things like they tryin to get me to the point where i cud juz surrender myself.

i know we both are at fault and i know ive changed too. and people who wrote in my tagboard seems to be the people who is stupidly coward. tryna tag down and make it seem dat im the one to be blame and not tellin who they are. what are they afraid of anw? so wat if i were to know that particular person writin dat particular comment? i dun care wat people wud think or say bout me. s long s i know wat i m reli doin. and im sure arfah knows wat she's doin too. and whoever dat fuckin 'anonymous', i do still care boout her. and you people juz dont know. silence doesnt mean im bein ignorant and didnt do antg. you duno wat the fuck have i been doin and go thru. and you can wonder all you want...

my back is still damn hurtful and its achin real bad. im walkin like i have a hunchback. rite. muscle pains all over, all ard my body. ive shud been start exercisin way before this NAPFA test we had juz now. even my abs achin too. its been long since i do sit ups. my record was 50situps anw. dammn. hate muslces pain...

pantat~!

outty now.

3:55 PM
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i juz dont fcukin undastan dis...
i need to see dis girl..
wat in the hell wrong wif her sia...
or rather, wat wrong have i done?
i know we aint really been seein each other but...
did she even know wat is she doin?
she told me ive changed...
She's the one who's been changin sia..
does she even knows dat?
and the fcukin fact dat im her boyfriend sia...
and she's totally wrong seh....
what are YOU really thinkin sia?
and if YOU tell me dat YOU love me,
and dat YOU willin to prolong this relationship eh,
YOU shud be fightin for it seh when i asked for the break up...
and let YOUR heart out...
not 'fine then'...
say out wat YOU wanna say ar...
and YOU bein in dat way makin me feel dat our 13mths plus is juz a waste of time seh...
all this time in our relationship,
ive always been the one who seeks for answers...
N YOU shudnt actuali see the promises we've made a bullshit...
how cud YOU think it dat way...?
YOU're juz wrong...
and do YOU even know wat YOU are doin or not?
why YOU are actin like dis?
so wat YOU got peeps dat got YOUR back?
i dun give a FUCK bout dat...
wat are YOU tryin to do sia...
and wat are YOU thinkin?
YOU are not the ARFAH i used to know either...
im very much disappointed in you...
how sanggup and all ive done to you...
the time sacrifices and all...
wat?
crap to you now?
coz if it does,
YOU dun even reli treasure me sia...
if YOU have this way of thinkin,
YOU are sooo totali wrong....
N wen YOU actin like dis, i shud be the one who suppose to think wat ive done is all a freakin bullshit sia...
but i dont...
coz wat the things ive done to you is all with much sincerity...

i'll leave it to you how you see it...
and how i seem to be hatin you,
i duno why but i still love you....
i dun wan any beefin to happen btwn us...
im not tryin to put all the blame to you...
coz i know i m to be blame too...
and sayin dis is juz wat i wanna let my heart out to you....
and im juz kept wonderin....
juz... why arfah?
think it over...
------

3:56 PM
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hello.

im back bloggin again. and anw, Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovely couples!haha. kk. aku mepek. ok. so here goes...

started off the day by wakin up rather early then the time i have set for my alarm clock. yea. weird. well, someone sms me and the message alert woke me up. hah. so, took my time to get ready for school. blah3, didnt realize the time actuali 11 o'clock oredi! rite. supposingly i nd to mit my fren 11am at the busstop. ok. so i was late a lil. and indeed kene mara. ok. sorry huda...

blah3, as usual, mit hidayat at tampines. den mit nad at bedok reservoir. and blah3, sampai skola mit the rest-hayat, remy, bob, sardine and kelvin. got in the sch, saw denise sittin down like at the front of the foyer and holdin a rose. we all tot its for hayat. damn... it was like, funny sia. she kept smilin when we asked her whether that rose really for hayat or not. well, actuali, its not for him la but we kept disturbin her wif hayat. ok. dis hayat, fren of mine, on the second day of school, he kacau dis denise. dis denise is like a 18yr old girl with the pri1 attitude. she dressses like as if its primary sch and she puts on her bagpack damn high. she's sort of mcm ade mental prob(dats wat we all tot ar..) coz she acts really strange. and she comes from a rich family sia. and i mean, real rich. and since dat day, we all slalu kacau dis hayat and denise an item. wahahaha!

ok. blah3, after reportin strength and everybody was ard oredi, we proceed to the auditorium. go for this talk. blah3, after four hours (there's two talks..), den we all duno where to go. after some time den i rmbr that i forgot that ive to mit my CO at my old sch. and so i told them i gtg and so i took my leave and off to wlds. when im otw, at SLE, kiwak... teringat2 siol time aku nak kene bgn pagi2 bute gi skola kat wlds.. haiz. i miz those times. but wateva la.. things have moved on. and so shud i. ok....

after my mitin wif my CO, and since ive got no date, went to mit up hidir. he's from his lepak wif my bro and all.. met at wlds interchange and like damn, its been long since we've lepak together sia and me bein at wlds. been openin my eyes big2 sia if i cud at least c arfah ard. heh. no luck still. blah3, me and hidir lepak at 3hsepark for three hours. n i got home ard nearly 9.30pm. blah3, thinkin back, ive realized dat nowadays i seems to be balik lmbt je seh. heh. its either i go lepak ngan member2 kat tm, the toys 'r' us dere, or im mitin anyone. nowadays, im always at tampines, tm or century square or i cud be anywhere wif them. like at harbour front sikit ari. hah. but mostly kat daerah tampines. im an eastside now. rite. but im still faithful to the north side. coz all my frens is dere seh. haiz. the peeps dat i grew up wif. hmm.. im thinkin of mitin them real soon...

anw, found out dat platform 6 will be brought forward to april. its like becoz of the mosaic thingy. and they dun wan us to like feel stress bout it. ape je beats-society... heh... oh yea, urbanize is under the Beats-Society fam.... awesome! =)

i duno wat else to say. only one thing. dat is, i cant wait for the lesson later! study how to do a website. and yea... im makin a website. bout local hiphop scene and urbanize... itz on progress. duno when will it be up but will keep you updated! no worries...

besides the lesson, i wanna c Joan! cute la kau.... wahahaha... got a cute classmate in my class...
always disturb her...
wahaha...

oh anw, ive been abused today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by remy and hidayat. fucks la. rabak nye seh.
kene sebat, sepak, cubit ngan tendang. irritatin seh. but somehow enjoyin it ar. ahaks! and they said its for my bday sia coz on dat day, dorang blum sebat aku....

cibai~

wateva la. sakit sak dorang sepak. and yea, in my new cliquez, my nick was boysotong or boybahan. sotong bcoz im always blur2 and bahan bcoz im always the victim to be kene kacau... rite.

i cant wait for 10th march. oh damn... i gurantee you all will bounce your head one. and if any of you did come by, pls comment bout our performance yea... i'll remind again...

out.

7:05 PM
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hello.

i know. its been damn long since im writin an entry. and people been complainin. im sorry la. well, its the fact that my bro has always been the first to use the comp. and everytime i told him that i wud wanna use the comp, he tends to ignore me. rite. wth. so this is ma chance. he's slpg now btw...

well, many things has been happennin all ard since for the past 3weeks, 5 days. on the 28th Jan, my uncle organised sorta a fam gatherin at downtown east chalet. and damn, he rent the chalet for a week sia. that's been the longest ever we've ever rented for a chalet. well, its basically for celebratin my granny's b'day, ma uncle's b'day, mine b'day and fam gatherin. the first four days, was like fun and been a great experience. so many many things happened. but the last day of the chalet was the most fun i ever had at chalet thingy and an unforgettable one.

well, it was friday. many people were present sia. albert, richard's bro, was there. my bro's fren- hidir, isa and dika, were present too. i asked along my ITE frens down too. kecoh siol. n onli hidayat, bob and hayat stay behind and taunt! remy and nad had to go earlier ard 1am coz they are workin the next day. giler. start kul 8am balek kul 1 pagi. ok. there's this one point of time, we all were bored. i was like kept sayin dat im bored and albert den started to agree wif me and den we both planned to have a walk at the mangrove swamp. the plc that is sooooo dark and creepy, wif eerie sounds and all. and that plc, do hav that 'cik pon'. me and albert asked everybody along and set off.

blah3, we were like in front of the jungle oredi. we count strength, there's 13 of us. 13 is the number seh. if you know wat i mean. and its odd number. there's me, my bro, my sister, boy, hidir, dika, isa, albert, shikin, rashid, bob, hayat, hidayat. shikin started to freak out wen she know there's 13 of us. i calmed her down and told her to chill. i nearly slap her seh to wake her up. haha. rite. blah3, she was den ok and we all proceed to the jungle.

i partnered wif shikin, and she was shitless. keep holdin ma hand and all. her grip was like super tight seh. den, when we're in the middle of the jungle i think, it was like pitch black. its like the same as the darkness wen you close your eyes. den, everybody there, includin me, den light up their fags coz we need sorta 'indicator'... so dat if we cud not c the person, we cud see the lit from the fags. we were practically kept talkin and talkin and blah3. we walked for like forever sia den we came across this bench and so we all decided to have a timeout. sat down for a while and off we go again at the walkin trail. fucks.

it was damn scary sia wen we're at the 'maze'. boy felt smtg and saw 'it' sia. den he lemah semangat. fucks. everybody were like quite lain macam oredi sia. rite. rashid and ma sister was like calmed everybody down. rite. blah3, we go lepak at the beach.

chill3, den we go back chalet after for a few hours. got back at the chalet, we sat down and talk3. play cards and all. it was den 7 plus oredi. and albert da naik giler. coz he had to work later on. which starts at 9. giler sak. everybody were shocked. den he went ard kacau2 org sak. and it was damn funny sia. damn damn funny. albert was like so funny sia. i completely laughed my ass off. hah. blah3, after some time, everybody dozed off except for me, my sis, and shikin. and that's when im crazy too. jangkit si albert.

blah3, my sis da gone, masuk tdo, den it was left shikin and me. we both like cudnt slp sia. still energetic and active. and fyi, shikin is my adek sdare jauh dat is the same age as me! haha. and so, we both were so bored and den, we decided to go to the beach. we chill at this one bench. talk about ourselves and sch and all. blah3, it was 8plusplus. we both like bored oredi den i decided to go to the jungle again. she go for the thrill. so it was onli both of us, went in the jungle. we discovered many things seh. and nasib baik ntg happen. haiz.

blah3, i got dis crazy challenge between her and me of how long can we stay up. the one that sleeps first will have to blanje the one dat slps later. haha. we're on. blah3,we go back to the chalet. and dat was saturday, the last day of the chalet thing. so hafta pack things up. everybody were like choose not to go back seh. all wish to stay. haiz. so many things happen seh. and i onli tell you guys one story. rite. i wish for the chalet thing happen again sia...

hmm, den after dat chalet thing, i had a gig to cum down. speakeasy at the arts hse. bro sampai uma trus tdo again seh while i cant slp again. even when i put maself to bed and close my eyes,
i still cant find myself aslp. rite. so i decided to use the comp and play games. blah3, it was time to go for the gig. and so im out. at the gig after for a few hours, i felt weak. coz i didnt slp for the whole night and everything. i was totali wasnt myself. everybody were scared of me. even syarif cudnt believe dat im reactin lyk dat. its like, im on drugs. seriously, i dun realised myself im actin dat way. rite. never been in this way before seh. guess it's becoz i've work out alot and actuali worn out totali. i was emotionally drained. hah.

so many things happened sia. after that gig, we go makan and i vomitted twice. rite. and yea, saw fireworks when we're at the boat quay. it was so beautiful and at that point of time, how i wish arfah really bein by my side and saw that fireworks together. haiz. i miz her....

anw, there's this one day, urbanize-my crew, were invited to perform for Mosaic at the Esplanade. and recently, been at this club for audition. and we got thru! weeee~! so we get to perform!! the club was hype sia. it's called Coccolatte. the soundcheck will be on the 9th of march. the performance will be the next day. 5pm onwards. come down and watch the locals performin! support the locals ar.....

n ya, Too Phat is performin too... so check it out.... check us out too.... heh!

hmmm, before i end this entry, wanna wish azreil, ''HAPPY belated 17th BIRTHDAY, old pal!!!''
haha. he's bday was ytdy and i didnt get the chance to wish him personally. and, to mizah, ive updated! sori smlm tak update pasal it was mum plak gettin in the way. rite. and yea, congrats again!

to all my frens yg da dpt results abeh pass, congrats ar... keep it up poeple.........
to my frens that didnt do dat well, at least we know you've done your very best... juz keep on tryin...

out.

3:56 AM
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