Saturday, August 27, 2005
greetings.
fadhli's another entry now in the makin.
go on and read it if you have the time.
fcuk off if you aint got the time.
so here goes . . .
fadhli kinda had a plain day today. he aint schoolin today as he aint got any papers. he sleeps most of the times. he got out of his bed at ard 10 when suddenly the phone rang. it was his form teacher. he was bein told by her dat the folio was supposingly to be handed in today. and so, he rushed to take a bath and dressed up and den off he went. he went to see his lover first as he knew goin to school early wont let him be seein his dnt teacher. besides, he havent done the cover page yet. hmm. while he and her was somewhere near ard her block, they both didnt really talk dat much. and like, fadhli kinda surprised dat she juz went off and up the elevator without even givin him a hug. boohoo. but, he juz told himself dat at least its not like its the last hug ever he didnt get. he will be gettin the hug next monday anw. .
he was actuali glad to be meetin her today. at least by juz seein her make his day. hmm. blah3, he went to dis sittin corner under fafa's block to finsh up everything. met syazwani. she chilled wif him den, and accompanyin him doin his folio. minutes past and fadhli have finish it all. they both den shook each other hand goodbye and off fadhli went to school. he searhed high and low for that fuckin bastard 'ah tan' like hell. he gave up after some time and juz put his folio in ah tan's pigeon hole. after dat, he actuali went back to arfah's block as he tot he might be able to see her when she's off to the library. he waited and waited but she still aint ard to be seen. soon, he went back home. . .
at home, he took a nap for a while and when he wakes up, he called arfah as he tot he wud wanna meet her up in the lib. only den she told him she didnt make it to the lib as she said like everyone 'bueh'. haha. ok. fadhli laughed to himself. he actuali waitin for a ghost. haha. stiitin dere juz to let time pass by. rite. anw ppl, fadhli is havin an audition for teacher's day TMW!!!!! was catuali bein told the audition is on monday. damn. riify called him juz now and was den told by him. damn. fadhli became nervous. and, he hopes he cud make it as dope and as unexpected. im sure fadhli and his group can bring down the house. they'll be hittin up the crowd real hard. hell yea. nwy, wish him luck people. . .
fadhli's entry gona end here now. so, y'all may choose to got to another site of dis window or click the cross sign at the top right hand corner of the window.
take care !
~to apen, im sorry things didnt work out dat time. im truly sorry. wasnt meant to do dat onto you. to arfah, im not sayin i m actuali wantin us to be separated. but think about it. im the cause of the prob. if its not you, den i'll be makin things right. for the better or for the worst. coz, to have you lettin be in dis way juz makes me thinkin i shud be away from you. you've make me the guy dat i never been feeling towards a girl before and i never want to let dat be a loss to me. uve always be the girl dat ive been treasure the most and never will i want to let you go. i love you. . . take care. . .
.:fad&arf:.
2:44 PM
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Thursday, August 25, 2005
greetings.
so here goes fadhli's entry again.
. . .
so, today in school, well, fadhli had two of the prelims paper. maths ppr 2 and chem. he finds the chemistry paper quite difficult despite studyin so hard yesterday night. he struggles to even answer a one mark question. rite. and, he finds the maths paper kinda easy. well, its his favourite subject anw. hmm. nwy, to be honest, fadhli seems to be missin hernie nowadays. he dun seem to see her in school dat much. prolly juz bcoz the paper ends much early den school time ends. he dont meant antg. juz dat he misses her, dats all. after the papers, he, apen, wan, khai and fafa went to 638 to chill for a while. soon, all the boys den started to be pollutin the air. and they all were talkin about dis band 'rufio' and stuff. and yea, fadhli likes dat band very much! the songs were so like emo and nice! he started to like dat band now. blah3, he happened to see the watch on his right wrist and realised that its time to mit arfah. he shook everybody's hand goodbye and off he went. . .
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later, at wgs, he den saw his sweetheart from afar. mit up and off they both went to her crib. arrivin near at her block, they sat for a while together. they joke around and laugh and laugh and laugh. practically, fadhli was kinda lame. but, wth. and, fadhli finally got the hug he need from her. he was really glad. after spendin the time wif her, off he went home den. and while he was in the bus, if he's not mistaken, he saw fadhilah takin the same bus. but, fadhli cudnt really see so he wasnt sure was it really her. reached to his destination and straight home he went. took a nap for a while and blah3. . .
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and so, here he is, writin dis entry. and shit, tmw is his dnt paper. which, he hates it alot! dammit! but still, he will go and study for it. . .
and he gotta go now. . .
so, have a good night people. . . . .
take care. . .
.:fad<36>arf:.
_*forever we will be together*_
12:00 PM
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Tuesday, August 23, 2005
i feel incomplete. . .
hmmm. i feel kinda good bout today's paper. i did good, i hope. but im sure i'll be havin a good grade....... for maths. haha. easy paper. like, i find dat 90% of the maths paper is quite the same as the revision paper i did ystdy. geo, i dont think ive done it dat good coz some of the question, i aint answerin. it kinda difficult. well, i hope i can get some reasonable marks. after havin all those papers, went to riffy's crib again. we had to plan out and workin on how will we show our flow each. and like, ismail's rhymes is cool sia! haha. ma verse, im still workin on it. im left wif two more lines to go. the same goes to riffy too. haha. bro said its damn dope and he is assured dat ma performance will be one of a kind. rockin the stage like hell and makin the crowd go wild. oh yea. hell yea! i cant wait. . .
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blah3, went to int to mit arfah. i was happy and real glad. and, nwy, somehow, i felt different when im standin beside her. and like, i duno why but her looks today kinda different. something dat makes me to juz be lookin at her. haha. she's cute ah. haiya. feels like i need a hug now from her. and talkin bout havin a hug, damn we didnt hug sia today!!! iqesaohdbhgwqhegeqng! haiyo! now i know why when i was in the bus to home, i felt something was amiss. haiz. and so it was the hug. rite! haiya. . . i need a hug la u!!!!!!!!. . . .. . . rite. . .. . .
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nwy, to ma dearest fren, if i cud shout now, i wana say. . .
HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY to RUHERNIE!!!
haha.rite.
oh yes. her birthday falls today. and damn! i was told from her dat she actuali had her birthday dinner wif her fam at hyatt!!!!!!!! fuyohhh. kiwak! awesome sia. nwy, i intended to stay in school for her after ma paper ends, thinkin dat i wud wanna wish her again, in person. but, riffy been consistently irritatin me to follow them to the crib. rite. damn.. . . . i wasnt dere. . .
sorry hernie. . . . .
----------------------
hmm, i think dats all i have to say bout today. you may close the window now.
and btw, take care ya. . .
*bleargh!~
.:fad<35>arf:.
'' forever? hell yea. . . ! ''
2:08 PM
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Monday, August 22, 2005
. . .
rite. and wat im gona say of wat im doin today may not be as believin as it may seem. well. yea. ive been studyin the whole day. haha. yea. go on. laugh it off. i know i aint the type to be at home or outside, studyin ma ass off. but, i must wake up and face the real world. waste no time no more. and like, i think im gona burn the midnight oil tonight. yea. i think im workin out on dis. on the other hand, i had some difficulties while studyin. i think its becoz of the sickness i had in me. and guess wat. i was studyin in ma own room, with the air conditioner on and its real cold till i had to put on a sweater, and i was kinda sweatin when i was tryin hard to remember back some of the formulas. damn. oh yea. believe it. i duno why, but i think it has worsen. rite. haiyo. hmm. so tmw for school i will be havin ma next prelim papers. maths paper 1 and geo. and im not confident enough for geo. maths im ok. haiz. i hope i cud answer all the questions. . .
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nwy, i had done doin the graffiti of ma fav own icon onto ma door. the ones on the walls are yet to be done. still workin on it. and i cud see dat its nice! somehow i feel like i was at a back alley in New York when i stepped into ma room. haha. rite. . .
hmm. dere aint much to say bout today coz nothing much i did actuali. juz studyin. rite. and oh yea, someone's birthday cumin. haha. i quite happy somehow. anw, wish me luck people. . .
-out-
.:fad&arf:.
_*8mths exactly now*_
~totally devoted to her. . .
1:32 PM
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Sunday, August 21, 2005
.
i know suicide isnt the way and i dun know will i even do it. i guess i juz have to leave dat matter to God. i will try to let joy and laughter overcomes me. nwy, well, a pathetic saturday i had today. and supposingly, i have to mit ma homies for our project meetin but something was up. and so i didnt make it. and i tot after that thing wud be over, i wud wanna mit ma girl. was bein asked to tag along too, i think, and i didnt make it either. the thing was bein dragged along. damn. i ended up chillin wif ma other homies den. we juz chilled and ntg else. so, it was really dat borin. blah3 and when i got home, it was a sudden dat i got the mood to do some artwork. and so i took out the aerosol cans i had in ma room and started to spray onto the walls. yea. graffiti. i graf some words and ma fav own icon too. hell yea. and now ma room is full of toxic fumes. haha. mum complaint bout it but so wat? haha. dats how it'll gona be anw. cant be blame. i still have yet to finish ma masterpiece. gona go continue. . .
takin care!
~i miz Siti Norarfah and i know wat she meant by sayin wat day is tmw . . . . heh. . .
.:fad<35>arf:.
2:20 PM
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Saturday, August 20, 2005
i noticed it.
holla. . .
so wat i m doin late at night? well, nothing. i juz cudnt put maself to slp. and i did some studyin juz now. ma prelims is on monday. and the real question is, am i prepared? well, frankly, i dont think so. i still got the fear dat i aint gonna make it. and the fact dat i didnt really put extra much effort. rite. im such a jerk. its like seemingly, i have no sense of any urgency at all. i really need like 10 tight slap from the back of the hand. any takers? damn. . .
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school today was ok. durin ss, mr roy confessed of wat he feel towards the class. i can see dat he was bein real emo on the inside. damn. and like, im quite surprised to see the class are not even seem to care bout it. some were still talkin away and some went to sleep. he let it all out sia. well, seems like i care. but the question is, do i really care? well, i also duno. hmm. nwy, i didnt get the chance to see or even talk to arfah today. we didnt mit and i didnt call. oh well. and seein the bitemarks, which is still red and a lil swollen, i had on ma left arm made me kept thinkin of her. i feel like callin her like right now but i doubt she's still awake. maybe i'll try ma luck after i wrote dis entry. anw, watched smallville. and its like dis is the third last episode. rite. well, i like dis episode. its bout dis baby, dat clark and lana found, who was agein rapidly. he turned a 16 years old teen from bein a 7 years old kid within 24 hours. damn its fast. and like, eventually he was dead as he kept on agein. and like, the kid whose name was Evan, regard clark as his father. and so i tot, me as clark, who gona be Evan? haha. rite. maybe one day i'll find one. . .
oh yea. if you watch smallville and cud rmbr, 'the flash' appeared on the sixth episode. and to tell you, 'batman', too, will be appearin in the last episode of dis season. . .
so check dat out. . .
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nwy, sometimes im stressin ma own self about things dat i shudnt really be stressin about. and, i know for me bein like dat wud be affected to many ppl ard me. i apologise for dat. i duno is this the real me or is it the sickness i have in me dat make me go dis way. once in a while, i do really forget of who i really m. even ma own name i cudnt remember. even things dat happen a minute ago wud makes me have difficulties to remember. and even im writin dis entry makes me hard to think of wat did i do today. honestly, it have been an hour now. is it happenin now? is dis wat the doc meant by sayin things MAY got worst? gosh. and now, i've lost some friends dat i dun even know im losin them. ive realised dat more and more often, im in a daze and daydreamin. and when im studyin or readin a book nowadays, i noticed dat the words dat i have juz read, nothing has been goin into ma mind. its like, im juz readin it without understandin it. i have to like read it more den thrice or so den will i be able to understand wat it says. and i dun even know im bein such an ignorant. i noticed dat i dun seem to even know wat am i doin. and, me bein like dis, affectin so many ppl. sucks. i may go crazy and lose ma mind one day. and, ever since in '98, the word 'DEATH' have always been in ma mind, thinkin dat i will commit suicide one day. on the real, im not dead yet. eventually i will but on GOD'S hand. but, i juz cudnt help maself to be sufferrin all the time. for how long shud i wait? i juz wish i cud be dead now. and im still waitin for some tragic accident to occur onto me. . .
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im not askin for sympathy. please. i dun deserve it anw. all im askin for now is to juz understand it. not for wat i m bein, but for wat i m goin thru. sometimes wat you see in me, and me doin dis and dat, i duno if i really does dat. but in any case, for anyone dat matters, i wud like to say im sorry. . .
and arfah, i miss you. . .
-out-
~it's after midnight now and im writin dis entry for 19th August. take note of dat.
new skin new song for you guys. enjoy. . .
.:fad<35>arf:.
4:37 PM
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Friday, August 19, 2005
. . .
holla. . .
so, ive juz got back from compass point wif ma folks and sis. bought some groceries stuff and browsin thru every store for a dinin table. well, the last one was broken. but, nothing i find dat attracts me in each of the store sia. i still prefer the one i saw at harvey norman and the other one at IKEA. hmmm. yea. im so like tired out now. juz got home from school den i have to be out again sia. tot i wanna have a nap but 'dad' kept on insistin for me to go. and so i did. and so im back now and im writin dis entry. nwy, school was okay today. the only thing was not okay dat we didnt mosh today. haiz. haha. and, wan was absent today. sort of he got like a stroke or smtg. damn! he cant really move the right side of his face sia. it's kinda scary. but i hope it's nothing serious. hope he gets well soon. . .
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blah3 and the bell rang and time for home sweet home. but i aint goin home yet. i went to mit ma swthrt first. chilled with her and we got some real fun together. haha. had a great time sia. and, she BITES me! omg. ive been abused and damn its painful! haha. my hand got three bitemarks sia! rite. two of them was not really dat teruk but the other one, damn! its still damn RED and i think it'll be swollen anytime sooner. hah. well, we joke ard, here and dere, and i do bite her too. muahaha. but i still yet to have ma sweet revenge. muahahahaha. . .
one day, arfah. . . one day. . . . .
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nwy, yea. i had a good time wif her. we laughed alot sia. haha. rite. after bein wif her, went home straight. and while im in ma bus, i kept thinkin whether shud i go for night study or not. seems like im not goin huh. rite. confirm member marah nye. they expect me to go and i aint goin. haha. rite. sorry guys. . .
hmm. so, am i done now? is it enuf for today's entry? is it ok? so can i go now?
ok. fuck you too. . .
~nwy, thx arfah for the souvenior i got from you today. preciate it alot! bleargh***~~~~~ . . .
.:fad<35>arf:.
2:01 PM
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Thursday, August 18, 2005
. . .
hello. . .
hmm. i woke up dis mornin to find maself lyin down on the floor. maybe i was havin a dream of some adventure till im off the bed. muahaha. dis have been occurrin quite some time tho. weird. woke kinda early today. but still reached in school 7.20, as usual. hmm. yea. like, no matter how early i m, i will still take the 7.08am, 962 bus. well, basically, its because of the sunrise dat everyday i will come across. i wanna see dat. i have always like sunrise, sunsets and the full moon too. it have always makes me thinkin of someone special and stuff each time im seein it. hmmm. so, school was ok today. didnt do much. well, how borin it may seem, im able to live wif it now. rite. and, sort of im playin 'hide-and-seek' durin dnt lesson wif 'ah tan'. haha. kun wei, jun feng and tao ming was wif me playin along. haha. kinda stupid tho but was fun. . .
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after dnt, was time to go home. chill for some time in school coz i have to wait for hidir to help him run dis errand. still in sch, saw hernie sittin wif yazid when i was goin to the canteen. sit for a while to chat wif them den off to mit hidir. out of school, met him and den came ma bro and his homies from afar. blah3 and after all dat shit, went to riffy's crib and discuss bout our thing. we did some beats and tryouts. haha. its cool. den, ...blah3 and time for me to mit arfah den. i was kinda late but wats the different she's bein late almost evrytime too? haha. rite. i dun mind anw. im willin to wait for hours as long as i know we will evetually mit up. saw her, chat2 den came the bus. in the bus, chat2 den arrived at her plc. at her plc, chat2 den off she went home. haha. and she was wet sia juz now. and im sure she played the rain juz now. haiz. how it cudnt be? hmmm. rite. wateva la. . .
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after mit her, ma turn to go home. met a few of ma old frens along the way. when arrived at int, i have to like run all the way down to the 161 berth coz ma bus to sengkang had arrived. i have always like to challenge maself, dats why. i wont wait for another half an hour for the next bus. it will like den take nearly one hour i'll be reachin home. hmmm. got home, watched fear factor den chat wif apen bout his probs after dat. chat2, den here i m writin dis shit. and now im gona end it coz im out of words to write about anything anymore. . .
out now. . .
FUCK YOU!. . .
muahahahahaha. . .
.:fad<35>arf:.
1:08 PM
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Wednesday, August 17, 2005
. . .
hmmm. i realised dat i have problems gettin up early nowadays. and, i noticed dat when every each time i were to iron ma uniform, i will do it wif ma eyes closed. and, after i took ma bath, i will be rushin like hell to get ready and den, to catch the 6.30am bus. well, most of the time, once i will see the bus cumin from afar, i'd ran up the overhead bridge and speed down to the bus stop. and, i will always get lucky that i eventually got into the bus. and when im inside, i'll be pantin like hell. ppl will den look at me but i juz put ma head down. went to school alone today. met kiki along the way. den, end up wif din beside me. the bell rang as i was walkin up the stairs. school time starts and blah3. . .
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most lessons we're all jokin ard. joke here, joke dere and den recess time. i was rather famished but ended up eatin juz a packet of Cowheads' biscuit and a packet of chocolate milk. sit at the usual plc with the 'back-hall-staircase boys'. jokes and craps ard again. den, when its bout time to go up to the hall, a big group of the malay express students showed up at the corner. we, the normal acad/tech, all stood up and sort of we all act as in they're pickin up a fight wif us. we gathered ard and den, have a 'settle-talk'. and den, someone suddenly shouted, 'MOSH!'. and so we did! i was practically kickin and punchin everyone who nears me. ramai sak org. and we moshed on the staircase too sia. haha. and oh yea, we carried arif up like as if he was bodysurfin. haha. den, after we got near the hall, everybody stops. durin dat assembly, the 4/7 planned to mosh again. and yea. we moshed again! woohoo! i was havin fun sia. but, not until when i was the main target. everybody was whackin the hell out of me sia. fucks! its damn painful. but wth. i had fun. i like mosh anw. . .
haha. . .
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den, was time for eng lesson. and, guess wat. me and illah were talkin among ourselves thru calculator sia. haha. we were like sms-ing. it was kinda cool ah. but totali crappo. haha. rite.
ticktockticktock, school was over. me and khai went to serve our detention. rite. for the thing we have done like months ago. and while servin, we have to do dis essay bout life. fucks sia. and like it should exceed bout 280 words. i tot i cudnt make it until dat long but when i counted it, i had 423 words. haha. rite. blah3 den was time i mit arfah. at int. and, sent her home and stuff and we sorta played the rain again. hah. rite. after got assured dat she's home, i den off ma way home. got home den i take a nap and den write dis entry. if it suck you find, den its fuckin screw you, dammit!
-out-
~oh yea. today marks the 35th week of ma relationship wif arfah. Congrats! haha... rite. . .
i miz her. . .
.:fad<35>arf:.
1:03 PM
0 heroic comments
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
. . .
dere's basically many things dat i wanna write about. and like im kinda in a hurry. k. but wth. so here goes. . .
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well, ystdy, i spent ma time mostly outside. oh yes. outside of 'the house'. im out watchin a movie wif ma swthrt and damn the movie was funny. its lame too. some part like lame nak mampos sia. haha. oh well. but i did enjoy the movie. especially when im watchin it wif her. haha. rite. i was real happy when i get to see her. like, last week, only two days we met. which, the 5 days i was badly cravin for her. haha. dyin to see her sia. rite. hmm, den, after sendin her home and blah3, went to esplanade. alone. rite. actuali, i were supposed to mit ma homies like ard 7. but watchin the movie wif arfah ends ard 7.25 like dat. rite. i got sort of a scoldin from dem in sch juz now. hah. im really very sorry. and arfah, im really sorry too dat i was late. really. sorry2. . .
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nwy, today in sch kinda plain. like, ntg was happenin ard. i eventually slps durin chem. slpy sia. and, I WAS BEIN ABUSED TODAY!!! by apen, wan, fadzley and khai. dammit! haha. apen merely bit me on ma right arma and great! now its blueblack! i cud still feel the pain. fucks! he bit me like i was sort of a raw chicken dat have to be rip apart usin ur teeth. damn it hurts. wan bit me too on ma right arm. fadzley bit me on ma left arm. dammit! whats wif today? bitin day? rite. and oh yea. arfah was bein ABUSED today! muahahah. she was bein abused by me. i bit her. hahah. and pinched too. confirm BLUEBLACK! muahahha. i pinched her many time sia. haha. ma bad. but its fun! hehehe. rite. oh yea. her mum saw me when we're chillin and after playin wif the rain. i was like 'oh shit'! its like suddenly i hear a voice cumin from behind me and next thing i knew, it was arfah's mum! haiyo. luckily its aite. arfah said she still have no clue. so we're stil aite. thank god! n, for the first time, we're bein caught after since the past 7 mths plus. and, for the first time too, i see ma so-called 'mother-in-law' in front of ma own eyes! haha. ok. but cant really see tho. wasnt wear ma specs dat time. hmm. . .
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oh yea. i became SPIDERMAN today. haha. but wasnt really dat good enuff. rite. nwy ppl, i gtg now. n i think i talked too much. have got to be goin to the lib now. apen's waitin for me and im still here. rite. kk. takin care!. . .
~FUCK YOU FASTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.:fad<34>arf:.
*i love you swthrt!*
9:31 AM
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Saturday, August 13, 2005
...
hmm. wat i have got to say here. k. . .
well, today in sch were havin ma social studies and eng paper 1. ss kinda ok but i dun really finish it off section B. wtf! eng, well, kinda ok but i think i was crappin. i hope it makes sense. rite. its ma prelims sia and i dun have any like sense of urgency. rite. for sho i'll be smacked real hard from ma 'dad' once results are out. rite. im shitless. nwy, after sch, riffy went over to ma crib. but b4 dat, we chilled @ the plc (in sengkang) where i usually sits. we talked some stuff. and, now i gotta know some truth dat i never expected. rite. den, over @ ma crib, we watched dis video i took into ma videocam when he was performin durin his Teenage Icon competition. damn we laughed our ass off to dis one part he done smtg wrong durin the dance. after dat, switched on ma comp and check out the beats. he was surprised i've got 87 project files of it. damn im a good composer. hah. rite. den, watched dis video bout Jay-Z's concert movie. damn its dope. the crowd were aint like SG. SG crowd suck i must say. call themselves hip hop and be in the culture but show no love and respect to it. hip-hop posers. back bout the video, its real dope. Jay-Z runs the show like a madflow. he's cool. and like, Beyonce, Missy Elliot, Kanye West, Pharrell, Twista, Timberland, R Kelly, Ghost, MC Killer and many stars were part of the show too. damn. its hot. im gonna watch it again. . .
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nwy, ystdy, finally i met ma dear cute arfah. i was so glad and so happy when im saw her. and finally i get the hug ive been cravin for the past 8 days. rite. even when i was in sch and doin the papers, i was real excited. as the time drawin closer, im gettin more anxious. haha. im so glad i get to meet her. but, damn. for today, we din. well, she has her np stuff and ends ard 6. i cant really be out by dat time. but, honestly, ive tried to be out. was all gettin ready and called 'dad' b4 i went out. but shit! he didnt let me to. fucks! and ive been shouted at! sweet! gee.. thx 'dad'!
i appreciate dat alot!. . .
havin the thought of dis, im kinda pissed now. rite. guess im out now. . .
takin care. . .
~i miz you darlz. . .
.:fad<34>arf:.
10:48 AM
0 heroic comments
Thursday, August 11, 2005
. . .
National Day, a day dat will i never forget. and, every year, all i expected to catch it live was the airplanes and of coz, the fireworks. i like planes since i was a toddler. yea. and its been one of ma dream to be flyin a jet. hah. and, ma wish to catch the planes dis year were granted when im celebratin the nation's birthday ystdy @ esplanade. and, dis year, the planes thingy was different. and like, whoa! i loike! haha. it was so damn the kecoh. and, had a real great damn fun too! i enjoyed it very much. it was one of a hell gd time i ever had after sucha long time. the fireworks were real fascinatin. i was jumpin and shoutin like a one crazy lost kid. ppl ard kept on lookin at me wif dose 'wats-wrong-wif-dis-kid' look. haha. but wat do i care. i juz continue wat im doin. it was fun. but im not alone. i shared ma joy together wif ma siblings and kuzzins. they were shoutin wif me too. after the celebration, while we're on our way back to the mrt station, dere were like so many peeps ard. and its really similar like dose thousands and thousands of ants dispersin in all direction. damn. and i must say, the crowd control armies/police units are all suck. dey like dont know how to handle it. i aint sayin im good but im juz commentin onto dem. rite. nwy, caught many good shots of the fireworks into ma handphone. and i cant wait to show it to ma frens. esp arfah. hah. and oh yea, she's back. like, finally! she's back but i still miz her tremendously. coz i still have yet to see her. rite. called her umpteen times ystdy. durin the fireworks and b4 i went to slp. was all gettin excited initially to finally get to speak to her but den, was all faded and started to be back in the position im in while she was away when she aint answerin the call. rite. up until now den i realised dat her ppd balance was low. rite. . .
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hmm, nwy, today, i didnt do much but juz tidyin up ma room. besides dat, im rottin here. well, not really tho coz i've actuali tried entertainin maself. haha and, it was good. haha. kinda stupid and bro was in too. haha. k. mepek. rite. nwy, tmw is ma PRELIMS! wth. rite. but here's the thing. ive got been studyin and all but, i dont think im prepared at all. and, shit, i duno will i improve. seriously, ive been studyin, but still i got the fear dat i will not pass. fucks. rite. i need some confidence. some encouragement. some motivation for me to convince maself dat im all good. rite. now im all stress. and lil fucked up. duno why but screw me. and, thinkin bout it juz makin me havin butterflies in ma stomach. haiz. . .
i hope i'll pass. . .
i think i aint got anything more to write about. im shitless already. it all went blank now. ~
i'll pray. . .
.:fad<34>arf:.
11:22 AM
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Tuesday, August 09, 2005
. . .
the time now is 9pm. . .
and. . .
i've exactly 3 hrs now. . .
and i soooo cant wait!. . .
oh damn. . .
i miz her sia. . .
come back baby please. . .
haizzz. . .
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so, in sch today was celebratin National Day. it was so damn kecoh. the boys especially. well, i had real fun sia. me and wan like kept goin to the sec three area and MOSH! hell yea! i like mosh. mosh for me is one way to release stress and a way to have fun too. and i mean, real
F U N. haha. and, we skanked. hahah. it was like, C R A Z Y! muahahaha. had good time. riffy performed on stage. he's one of the singers. yea. ma homies. as well as dat 'ustaz', rmbr? hahha. mr roy. rite. he sang one part like so S M A N G A T. haha. caught in the act. me and sai like laughin our ass off. he sang like wanna berak sak. wakakka. rite. den later, after the wild celebration, me, din and sai decided to do our 'project' @ cwp. oh yea. free movies. but, suddenly, we din do it. instead, go lepak at the carpark. haha. pollute the air. rite. only me tho. den, went back sengkang. chill for some time @ dis one block where i usually sit ard alone. its coolin down dere. really. even how humid will the weather be. den, went home. 'dad' was home. and like, its only me and him. riteee. den, sit2 ard. and den go kemas uma and blah3. . .
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and so here i m, writin dis entry. nwy, i hate so much of the red t-shirt the sch gave to us. it's suck to the max. really. like, its so fuckin plain and like no motive wearin it. juz bcoz its red and blah3. rite. im so freakin cant wait for ma dear arfah to come back home. hope she have a safe ride home. i'll pray for her safety. god, i miz her so much. . .
nwy, confirm i'll taunt ni mlm. wooohooo. hell yea. later go jam wif ma bro and movie marathon and blah3. go jam as in jammin in ma room je. haha. where you tot it'll be? rite.we'll be rockin the night. hah. how pathetic. like as if we're performin or sumwat. but really, its so like rarely he plays guitar wif me. now like smangat sia. yea. smangat kebabian. . .
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kk, guess im goin off now. bro wanna use the comp. nwy, if you find ma entry suck, den, FUCK YOU! muahahah. . .
who the fuck you think you are? arfah???....
haha...
rite. . .
no offence. . .
takin care!
~nwy, HAPPY NATIONAL DAY EVERYONE!!!
i know haven ah but, sayin it in advance. . .
haha..
rite..
.:fad<34>arf:.
_*forever be together*_
oh yea. . .
k blah. . .
12:29 PM
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Sunday, August 07, 2005
....
haha... rite...
i've juz realise dat today was actuali sunday.
i really tot it was saturday. . .
wakakakaka. . .
but the previous entry was right bout the thing i did on sat. . .
only the part bout how much time i've left aint right. . .
so, im left wif 45 more hours to go until she's back.
haiz. . .
i cant wait!
damndamndamn. . .
how i miz her so much. . . ! ! !
k blah. . .
............
.:fad<33>arf:.
6:10 PM
2 heroic comments
its 1.47 in the mornin now and i still cant slp. well, frankly, been thinkin of her. and i dun seem to stop it. i juz cant. i miz her tremendously. imizherimizherimizher. and i juz cant wait for her to come back. i wish to see her and i wish to have her in ma arms now. haiz. but, i juz have to wait for like 2 more days. i hope she's doin aite. kinda worried her bein dere. but im sure she knows how to take care of herself rite. her folks is dere too. so, guess dere's nothing for me to worry. yea. nwy, i dreamt of her when i was aslp. some sweet dream. cant really rmbr. haiz. im cravin for her now. so, dis is it. i have to be sufferin again, bein not able to have her by ma side or even to be talkin to her. rite. been like dis twice. the first was when she had her np camp. hmmm. so its been 30 hours, 4 mins, 38 secs and still tickin, since we've talked. i'll have like 70 hours more to wait until she'll be back here in SG. whoa. damn dats long. haiz. i'll be crazy or worse, havin black rings ard ma eyes too. hah. k, maybe dats too serious. but i know i'll be missin her like hell!
haizzz. . .
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so, today i dont do much. went out to aunt's crib to visit granny @ potong pasir. and, had some time spendin writin lyrics again wif ma abg sdare. and anw, supposinly, i have to go dis gig @ espld and YP. espld, ma abg sdare nye kawan performin. den go dere and support. YP, BFC's performance. yes. Break Force Crew. they're performin. their special showcase or some sort. the espld thingy i never go like nvm ah but the YP one, damn! BFC sia. and i aint cumin. rite. visit granny mah. so nvm la. cant complain. fam comes first. den, after visitin, went home ah. where else. and, start to be thinkin bout her again. rite. she was in mind all the way sia. haiz. . .
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anw, maybe i'll be out to johor tmw. or, shud i say later on. hah. rite. but aint confirm yet. see how la. nwy, ma eyes are actuali gettin heavier and heavier now. but, really, i dun think i can start slpg yet. even when i'll be closin ma eyes, i'll see her, and, i'll start to miss her, and i'll be openin ma eyes again. den be thinkin of her. hah. i miz her sia.........................................
ystdy i slept after syuruk sia. haha. cant really slp. kept on wakin up when was den alsp after some time. hah. msged her too. ard 6 in the mornin. she was stil in da coach but upon reachin. den, after few mins, she told me she have reached KL. it was 7.11am when i checked the time. den, after chatted wif her, knowin she's aite and arrived to her destination, i went to slp. and dat was ard 7++. hah. i din slp the whole night sia. crazy me. . .
so, its 2.33 now. everybody have already been slpg. and im still awake, doin dis entry and ma mind thinkin bout her. rite. whoa. ive realised dat i took nearly an hour writin dis entry. hahaha. well, im kept on thinkin for quite some time of wat to write, dats why. hah. and i guess i'll end here or ppl readin dis will soon be bored if i keep on writin. hah. rite. . .
k la. . .
takin care ah. . .
~arfah, i miz you. . .
.:Fad<33>Arf:.
5:44 PM
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Saturday, August 06, 2005
. . .
haiz. rite. ma gurl is off to KL. god. arfah is out of town! haiz. im sad. and like, i have to like survive for 4 days for not able to be talkin and seein her. im so like feel like im all alone even though dere's ppl in ma crib. haiz. . .
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alotta things were in mind juz now to write about. suddenly, it went blank. rite. anw, supposingly will be mitin arfah today and like to have the last time together b4 she goes but, unfortunately, she cant go out. haiz. was a lil upset but wat else cud i do rite. but, i managed to have the last sight of her. well, i went to the checkpoint. not exactly there but i was like somewhere near the Sheng Shiong and i was 'waitin' for her. tot she might have been gone oredi coz i was kinda waited for quite some time.but ma patience was still dere. few mins later, saw her and her fam. i was like 'oh-damn'. haiz. she didnt noticed me. den, i followed them inside and dis one part when she was takin the elevator, she saw me and im sure she were surprised to see me there. i waved at her. she smiled. hah. den the elevator door closed. dat time, i felt like as if she'll be migratin seh. haiz. i was gettin emo seh. rite. but one thing for sho, i'll be missin her like crazy! yea. really. haiz. im missin her now. . .
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hmm, i miz her now oredi. ape tah lagi for the next 4 days? i'll be dyin sia. smlm bebual pun mcm tak puas seh. juz now also like bual skejap je. . .
haiz. . .
i'll msg her later. . .
prolly she's in the coach now. . .
haiz. . .
I MIZ HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~can i juz scream and shout?
.:Fadhli<33>Arfah:.
2:47 PM
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Thursday, August 04, 2005
. . .
i miz arfah. she's sick. and she aint gonna be to sch tmw, which, we wont be mitin again. and i juz cant wait to mit her someday. anw, she's goin KL dis fri night. haiz. . .
~im sorry if dere IS anything i've said dat is wrong. im cool now. thanks for puttin ma mind in peace. take good care of yourself ya. i miz you. . .
.:Fadhli<33>Arfah:.
12:49 PM
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Tuesday, August 02, 2005
. . .
k. basically, boredom is all im livin with at home. and it seems like dis wud be for everyday. weee. how pathetic can dat be. fucks. but wth. nwy, syahmi is here at ma crib! haha. miz him sia. the mother gotta go sumwhere to take some stuff and she asked ma siblings to like babysit them. rite. it cool tho. especially wif syahmi ard. . .
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met arfah today which ive been dyin to. im so glad i get to see her. we chilled for a while den off to home. i miz her many2 sia. ahaks. school was ok today. dere was a talk bout drugs durin assembly. hah. and me, wan and khai make fun of the effects caused by consumin respective drugs. fuckin hell funny sia. wakakakaka. lame. all bout 'hallucination'. nwy, last saturday night, ma abg sdare overnight kat sengkang. yes. ma crib. we taunt. spent the whole time in ma room, crappin all along. well, we do some songs together too. ive decided to feature him in one of ma songs. malay version. cool. anw, got dis one point of time, we went out to rivermale mall. to cheers specifically. bought some snacks. saw ma neighbour dere too, bein with his fren. den, we go chilled jap at dis one bench and like talk cock sia all the way. haha. had fun tho. dis was ma second time taunt over here at sengkang, outside ma home, and ma first to be with ma neighbour. haha. cool. . .
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nwy, im so jealous arfah gets to see the fireworks and stuff. haiz. damndamndamn. serious sia. i duno why but im so disturbed bout it. alahai. siots. . .
nwy, bro will have an audition tmw. teachers' day. im sure it'll be dope and unexpected. bro can do it, i know. . .
''Good Luck, Farhan. . .''
i duno wat to write anymore la...
so, im out. . .
takin care. . .
~i miz arfah. . .
.:Fadhli<32>Arfah:.
2:06 PM
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