scarlet.

Thursday, June 23, 2005
...

its been a while. and i've come back. do you all miss me?hahaha. rite...

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_20th June_

didnt go for dnt. instead, went out with my dear arfah. went to some places. look out for smtg she wants but wasnt found in the end. haha. nwy, the day didn't go as planned. she had to be back home early. i was like, damn it! haiz. can't be blame. she's a girl. and every mother wud always be worried bout their daughters. hmm. so we ended the day with having ice cream at Swensens. after dat, sent her back home. and, like finally i have given her the present i have made it myself for bout 6 hrs. hahaha. i must admit, it aint easy. she likes it anw. thank god. and after i gave her my present, finally i cud hug her once again. i have missed her. it's been like so long since i gave her my 'tight-hug'. haha. k...

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_21st June_

went to dnt. and i was damn late. it starts at 8.30am and i came down like 12pm exactly. woke up late actually, that's why. only den when i soon stepped in the workshop, it's time for lunch. hah. and im back outside. nwy, i was surprised to see dat only din, khai and saleha came for dnt. hmm. k, so, we den went to D.I.Y shop at causeway point to look out for smtg we need for our artefact. after dat, went back to skool and started onto my artefact again. time passed and dnt ends, i den went to see arfah at her skool. she had her np trainin. while i was waitin, i was shocked to see her sister dere. talked to her for a while as i have missed her too. den, we was like waitin for the np ppl to be out frm skool. soon, arfah came. was surprised to see me. haha. she was cute. after dat, do the same daily routine to her den went back home. and ya, this is the date of my 6mths anniversary with her. congrats to myself! ahakz. rite.....

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_22nd june_

so, this is for today. went out to NUH this mornin. had an appointment. and, now i've known the problem i had with me. it is called, 'auditory processin disorder'. damn. the doc says my brain aint workin dat well. and, maybe im havin this small thing inside my head which will grow bigger as time goes by. damn. which, i still have to go thru some test again to find it out if it's true. haiz. whoa. the doc says the sickness im having now is a rare illness. and some doc may not know of dis illness. gosh. m i dyin?.... hmmm. k. dats bull. i still have arfah, bestfriends and friends with me. and i dont think im ready to go. haiz. k. nwy, later on, i'll be goin out for jammin at Yishun with my band. and, after dat, will be meetin arfah at her skool. but b4 dat, think im meetin hernie first to take smtg. hah. ya, i miz her...

so, nwy, seems like i cant wait to meet arfah later on. and, i cant wait to go for jammin too. coz, we'll play 'Helena', by My Chemical Romance, again! hahahaha. rite. i love dat song sia. we gona play our new song also. hah. the audition starts on this 27th June seh. damn. and, ppl, im having a performance somewhere this saturday. i wont say it of wat it is. ask around of my homies. most prolly they know. it's a hiphop gig. k..

guess dats all for today...

out...

*never will i forget you or will i let you go. coz, you've stole my heart since the day you look into my eyes. i will always treasure you from the bottom of my heart. and i will always cherish the life we will spend together until the day i stop breathin...

.:NizamFadhli<27>SitiNorArfah:.

5:58 AM
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Sunday, June 19, 2005
hmm...

so, ive decided to write an entry of the day. so here goes the shit...
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went out w my fam juz now, or shud i say ystdy, to town. had sum sort a fucked up day. everyone attitude was like messed up. and i started trippin den. but its aite after for sum time. was lookin out for t-shirts to buy but ended up nothing in hand. but, my siblings do bought themselves sum shoes. it was nice. i was interested to buy one too but everyone was like disagree and i started trippin again. damn it. so i didn't buy one. and, i hate my dad's attitude. can't stand the way he reacted juz now. after all the time spendin at town, went home den. arrived home bout 12.40am. called arfah but she ain't pickin up so i assumed she might have turned in already. i miz her. nwy, so ive bought nothing today. gona buy smtg soon...

while was i at town, saw my friends at far east and was surprise to see my ex dere too. like, for the first time ever after such a long time, she smiled at me. didn't leali know what's her motive. hmm...

saw many of my friends and old friends dere. oh ya... nwy, b4 my fam and i got home, we were havin our supper at Swensens. damn, the ice cream was delicious man. its been long since i ever taste it at Swensens. kinda great tho. was thinkin of arfah when im dere. picturin she was sittin right in front of me. hah. k...

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btw, for your ppl info, tmw,or shud i say today(19th June), one of my homies performin at United Square. dancin category. his name is Shaifful, a.k.a Joeis. he'll be performin with his dance grp. if y'all readin this and happen to know him too, come down if y'all free. im cumin. so, you'll expect to see me dere too if you're cumin. n btw, Joe's performance starts at 6pm. so, in case you ppl wonderin where's the hell is United Square, it's located at Novena. get out of the Novena MRT station and you'll find your way dere as you follow the directories. dun end up at TTSH. haha...

guess im out now...

*Anytime, we're together wud feel so right. You're the girl i've been lookin for in my whole life. God bless me, i know i got the insights. It's cuz of you girl, now i understand life...

~i miz you dear... dun let yourself have negative thoughts when im sayin of my ex. you know it dat im yours. always be...

.:NizamFadhli<26>SititNorArfah:.

6:09 PM
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Saturday, June 18, 2005
tired off...really...

startin the day with dnt again. and ya, made smtg for special someone. soon she'll knows it. took me 4hrs exactly. hah. k. my artefact doing good. progressin. yazid sum sort stuck along the way. fafa, well, duno how's hers. lately, she's been gettin to class late and ystdy, she didnt turn up seh. haiz. k. din's one progressin 2. khai, had to re-do it again. damn it. it's all dat 'seTAN' fault. sai, doin good. illah, duno how's hers also. seemingly, the guys are progreesin ah. hahaha. k. crap. oh ya, did some parkour a lil while near at hernie's block again after dnt.. went to pollute the air at the roof. haha. k...
----------------------------------------------------
nwy, talkin bout hernie, dreamt of her last night. bout this particular smtg. damn. was kinda shocked. to say, no offense arfah, but sort of im missin her 2. its been long since we talked. it's been me i must admit. haiz. k..
ya, juz now, i had a wild bus ride to skool. i mean, the bus 161 was rather wild seh. the bus driver drove the bus like to the most right of the lane and was speedin really fast. damn. was kinda great tho. haha. for the moment i was like, 'wow. i had a rollercoaster ride for juz 55 cents!'... hahahahaha. k. mepek.
----------------------------------------------------
nwy, arfah, most prolly this monday our day out. aite?can't wait seh. and........ i miz YOU badly...haiz...
k, im out...
.:NizamFadhli<26>SitiNorArfah:.

11:27 AM
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Friday, June 17, 2005
i whupped my ass off....

so, someone have turned 15 at last but i still have yet to celebrate with her. ystdy, it was arfah's b'day! haha.. did smtg dat she never even expect it. well, it didn't leali goes the way i had planned. but, im glad she liked it. anw, arfah, at d park thingy, datz onli the beginnin of me celebratin ur b'day. so, im still plannin out the date we'll be out. haiz... the date we actuali planned falls on the same date she'll b havin her trainin. damn it...

k. so, today, dnt as usual. but, during our break time, we went to illah's crib. chilled and watched a movie. den, the boys was den lazy to continue the day to dnt again. so, we decided to cabut. haha. the teacher didnt even saw us. we did our parkour into actions. and we made it! hah. den, go lepak2 and den, decided to parkour. we parkour for 2 and a half hours. damn it was great. and, while parkour, a grp of children did the same thing. and, me and the boys den decided to teach them some moves. whoa. it's like the first time i ever had students for me to teach all bout parkour. ahakz! it was great. they like all the stunts. hah..

after dat, mane lagi... balek kampong ah! haha... i mean, go home. and, prolly, goin to parkour again later. yazid will be joinin. we'll be doin the things to parkour at SENGKANG!! haha... k..

it's all dat shits i wanna write about today. and now, im done...

so, im out...

.:Fadhli<26>Arfah:.

>>>>loves her so much... have i told y'all dat?... haha...

10:47 AM
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005
...

hah. someone juz gona get an IC. whoa. you know who you are. hehe...
--------------------------------------------------
so, bout today, its dnt again. kinda start to like dnt somehow. rite. m i kiddin myself? but ya. i started to like it. weird. duno why. maybe bcoz of my artefact. let's juz put it i prefer practical more den thoery. k. basically, my day was tiring. handling my artefact is much more harder than i thought it wud be. but kinda enjoy it tho. i started to see my product is developin! haha... like, duh~...

after all the quality time spendin at the workshop, its time to knock off. went home straightaway coz was too damn tired! den here i m, writin dis entry. so i gonna have my rest soon.

hmm, let's see. there's nothing to write about anymore.

guess im out den...

*it's suck to think it this way. it's suck to think it that way. It wud juz ended up the wrong way. It wud resulted the way you don't even want it to be, at all. so stop it.
~to face the reality is the right way...

.:NizamFadhli<26>SitiNorarfah:.

10:59 AM
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005
...

started off the day with dnt. woke up a lil late but was early than the rest when im at skool. and, today was the first day ever i had to work on my artefact! kinda anxious when doing wat i had to do with it. fafa and yazid nearly cudnt believe me dat i have started doing my artefact. another friend of mine said my artefact is cute seh. haha. rite. a pretty tiring day i had in the workshop today. spent most of the time sandin my workpiece. yay! finally, i make out my own product...

after all the hardwork and energy i applied of my efforts doing my artefact, in short, after dnt, i went to causeway point for a while. went there with Wally West. me thought of buyin batt for mp3 but found out, it has no more stock. then, west wanted some munchie2(smtg to eat). we den went to cold storage and bought some steak and a snack. after dat, we chilled near civic. sat dere nearly an hour den we headed home...

i slept in the bus ride home. nearly missed the bus stop i had to alight, as usual. den, home sweet home. take a short nap. my back kinda achin. damn im tired. so, here i m, woken up from my short nap n den write this shit...

there's ntg much leali to write about. but there's one. im startin to really miss arfah. quite terribly. damn it.

im out now...

*i shud stop wonderin about. i shud stop thinkin too much. i shud stop lettin my alter ego gets over me. i shud juz trust her...

~negative thoughts is not the way...

.:Fadhli<26>Arfah:.

11:32 AM
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Sunday, June 12, 2005
here goes my line

so, ive been quiet for some time. and now, here i am, writing an entry...

k, i was out today. woke up early in the morning. i was going to the Police Academy. a carnival was held there. went there with my siblings and the guy i called 'father'. mum cudn't make it as she has to work. and, the most enjoyable part i had in the carnival was onli the part when one of the shows, a MONSTER TRUCK have to smash some cars! it was fun. the engine was way too loud for some old folks dat cudn't stand and eventually walked away. the sounds are more likely to be louder than u hear the fireworks during National Day. damn. that shit was whack! it was great and it was a very hot day today. and many ppl were present. saw some of my frens dere. and so did my bro. some lame shows were put up as well. and btw, i took up archery in one of the stations. and, i still got the skills! hmm. k...

after all the things we did there, we den decided to be home sweet home. well, not really. i wasnt. i was like still havin the mood to be hangin around at town or somewhere. but bro and sis faces made me havin second thoughts. they were tired out. hmm. and, soon, arrived at my estate, told sis and bro to go home first and i'll catch up later. i den went to... parkour. alone. was damn bored. so i went to parkour. did some work out. spent few mins den went home. once reached, took a bath and i slept. kinda sleepy.

and now, here i m, writing this shit again bout the things happenin ard me. nwy, yesterday, like finally i had the chance to be meetin with arfah again. i was so delighted to see her. and she was cute. a lil change she had in her but i wud not say wat wud be dat. and to arfah, u do look cute.

and, im sorry if i hadnt been contactin you. ive tried to be online but duno why the window cudnt be open. and ive tried to called you yesterday night onli to realised after 2 hours, you havent top up your card. silly me. ya. did enjoy watchin the movie with you. had a great time. im sorry again. and, ive missed you too...

k, im out ppl...

*probably, i shudnt be cared bout the things she's been doing. probably, i shudnt be cared bout the things of wat she's trying to do. probably, i shudnt be cared bout the things she's with her friends. and probably, i just have to trust her even if it takes for me to be wonderin why is she with him...

~trust is all i need...

.:Fadhli<25>Arfah:.

1:24 PM
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Thursday, June 09, 2005
...

hmmm. so i didnt go for my dnt today. and fafa has started on the artefact oredi. damn. i still have yet to catch up with the rest. haiz.

and so, i didn't go for my SS class also which starts at one. had to take care of my bro. he's sick. and like if i were to go for my class, no one will be takin care of him as everyone have to be gone for work. haiz. so here i m, takin care of him, writin dis shit and livin with boredom now. takin care of my bro was not a matter of i had to. i want to anw. hah. haiz. i wanna go out. prolly to toa payoh too huh. den hope to c arfah dere. she's dere now. duno for wat...

nwy, i think ive been affected from my bro. im havin headache now and feel rather cold. i think im started to be sick. which, i like it! hah! i know it sounds crazy but like, i hadn't been sick for ages. and i like to feel cold rather than hot. im hot enuf. as arfah wud say, im always warm. haha. warm-blooded. hmmm. but i dun think im dat a good person. really. ive been killing... killing ants!haha. lame... i know... well, im crappin again. den wat else can i do?im so bored. tot of callin arfah but she's outside now and i don't think im disturbin her. hmmm, nwy, i'll pray for my bro health. hope he gets well soon...

----------------------------------------------

somehow, i cant live without seeing arfah. its been a week now. and im missin her deeper and deeper each day. the more i miss her, the more my love for her will gain. hmmm. nwy, i feel pity for her. she kinda lose her voice. called her yesterday and like i hardly hear her voice. haiz. aku da lah some sort pekak. haiz. haha. k, den we talked like for a while. but not as long as we usually talked b4.

haiz. poor her. miz her. love her...

got ntg else to say anymore...

so im out...

.:Fadhli<25>Arfah:.

4:34 AM
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Wednesday, June 08, 2005
...

hey there peeps..

i have change the layout. screw you if you dont like it coz i do like it. hah...

nwy, as usual, today in the mornin, went to skool for dnt. do. do. do. toop, toop, toop, the clock shows 12pm. and like we can either go home or come back again after you had your lunch. so, we all chose to go back home. haha. our teacher was like don't believe seh. so?big fuck? haha. nwy, like, the peeps goin for the class was onli 4 person seh. haha. its the usual suspects-me, fafa, khai and yazid. wan and faz was there too. only to kepo2. they both actuali A-Maths students and really got nothing to do with dnt. hah. they juz cum coz their class had finished and they dun want to be home yet...

so, after we all have got our butts out of skool, fafa decided to go home. den yazid wanna go for band. den left me, wan, din and faz. den we all go pollute the air(except for faz). den, met zaki. go pollute the air again. but this time, i didnt. den, after chillin, we're off to parkour. its at the place where me and yazid have always been practisin our moves and stunts. and it's near hernie's block. and, i've teached them some moves dat they dont know. it was fun. especially when we all were lying down at the roof, enjoyin the cold wind blows. haha. after for a few hours of parkour, we off to home as we all were tired out...

so im home now. still doin my fcukin dnt. haiz. and ya, saw hernie at skool juz now. but she didn't noticed me i guess. hmm...

anw, I MISSSSSSS ARFAH!!! damn it... i hope i'll get to see her some day this week... haiz... been thinkin of her throughout the day seh. andlike, yesterday, didn't had the chance to call her coz i was tired and my body was achin. haiz. im sori arfah...

im out now...

.:Fadhli<25>Arfah:.

12:19 PM
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Monday, June 06, 2005
...

k. here i go, writing an entry again. so here wat i gotta say...

yesterday, i went to granny's crib, on my mother side. juz visitin. miss her. and was like once she saw me, she goes, ''wah.. da besar seh cucu nenek..'' den she was like hugging me. hah. nwy, on my mother side, im the eldest among all the boys of my granny's grandchildren. and like, i must show good example in front of the young ones. which i don't think i did. haha. nwy, i juz den discovered, or shud i say realised, dat some of the faces of my nieces have about the same faces of my friends. get it?k. there's three. the looks of syazana, amalina and hernie. haha. when like i looked at my nieces, it reminds of them. kinda look the same ah. weird...

k, den, time passed, the sun have been replaced by the moon. my fam and i started off our journey to our next destination. at Bukit Gombak. got a wedding ceremony to attend. and once reached there, guess wat my bro and me saw in front of our own eyes? there was like a bunch of 'PONDAN' dancin dangdut songs. GOD! it makes me sick! and i have no appetitite to eat den. damn! i feel like vomittin all along! hahahahaha!!! sicko! there was like 6 of them. god. sick sia. and, after for some time, i decided to look around. and i was surprised to c my friend dere. she was a singer dere. workin as a singer for the deejay. the deejay was her uncle. and she was workin for him. get it? k. and like, it was the first time i saw her in a dress! god! she was kinda like a tomboy. and i didn't know she sings! damn. wear a dress some more. she was shocked to c me there too. haha. k. i went up to her and we talked. and guess wat?when i was talkin, i happened to look at one of the 'pondans'. and, he/she den WINKED at ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!! can u believe it???DAMNNN! den i walked away... damn it. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! sial ah... fuck sia!!! im so disgusted! the face like so-damn-motherfuckin ugly behind all reasons. eee... i can still feel the disgustin feeling.... damn...

k, enuff... den, for some time, we all went back home. kinda exhausted. after takin a bath, go slp.
but b4 i went to slp, i took some time to take a look of a picture of arfah. i miss her. miss her so much. and, i actuali dreamt of her later dat nite. it was nice. it was mesmerizin. i love you, arfah!
haiz. and like, yesterday and the day before, she was in mind everywhere i go and whatever i do seh. hah. its everyday to say. hmm. nwy, she'll be back today!ard 1-3 plus. im so happy!but im sure she'll be tired with muscle cramps and all. so i guess i'll call her tmw... haiz.. miz her..

btw, fyi, spiderman is comin back to town either today or tmw!hah. and it was langkawi dat he went. had the chance to chat with him in msn last thurs when he was at Langkawi. hah. and whoever knows him, he kirim slm. ya...

so i guess datz all i have for today...
cant wait to talk to arfah again ltr some time...
and indeed, 3days seems 3weeks for me... hah...
and, i still feelin disgusted........... you know what i mean... gosh....

out...

.:Fadhli<24>Arfah:.

2:26 AM
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Sunday, June 05, 2005
i miss you...

i miss her. i miss her tremendously...

i wanna talk to her. i wanna see her. i wanna hold her in my arms again...

how i wish she could be beside me now...

.:Fadhli<24>Arfah:.

3:26 AM
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Friday, June 03, 2005
i'll be damn...

k, i say again. I'll be damn!... haiz. i have to survive now for 3 days for not able to get in touch with Arfah. argh. no calls. no message. no meetin. nothing. she's havin her camp. i know it is juz for 3 days. but to me, 3 days seems like 3 weeks. really. lost track of the exact time when i'm missin her. haiz. hope she'll be fine there...

hmm, now guess wat. i'm actuali late for my class. and dat is DnT class. it starts at 8.30am and im still sittin down, writin dis entry with no sense of urgency. damn. wat m i doin sia?haha. worse, i still have yet to get butt to the toilet and bath. haha. the duration for me to get to school wud be like 45mins. and i'll be ready bout 20mins time. and all dat takes me for bout an hour plus. damn. the time on my clock now shows it's 8.21. prolly reachin there ard 10. hah. and im bloody sure i'll get a shoutin from dat 'bloated stomach bulldog'. damn. i hate his voice. and talkin bout his voice, i dun tink he has reach to his puberty stage. hahahaha. k. im criticizing. stop dat...

k, i gona go bath.

out...

.:Fadhli<24>Arfah:.

11:28 PM
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i juz got back from hospital now. and im so bored at home. there's nothing to do here and im all alone. not exactly alone. mum was sleepin. haiz...

k, to say, i am ill. but wat's funny is dat, i dun even know wat sickness do i have. haha. and i duno whether it's curable or infectious. damn. hope it's curable...

my day today is boring. and i mean, real borin. had to go to school. had some class to attend. it was maths class at first den, DnT! haha. i hate it but does it seems like i do have a choice anw???i dun think so. but guess wat. i was onli there for the DnT class for like juz a few mins. it was like onli for 15mins i sat for dat class. HAH! the teacher was like shocked dat i gotta go. he didnt believe me seh dat i had an appointment at the hospital. den i was like, if he dun believe den i wud have to cut off my finger if i lie. he den said ok. hahaha. like as if i gonna do. dumb. den, went to NUH. been there for like 3hrs or so. got some test and check-ups. and was told i had a problem. and i dun even know what is it. hah. stupid me...

nwy, spiderman is out for a vacation at Langkawi. or is it Indonesia?or Thailand?damn. i dun know. all i know he's out of town. and be back this Sunday. hope he's doing fine and i'll pray for his safety and everything. miz the laugh we used to have durin classes. miz his lame jokes ah. haha...

ya, met arfah yesterday. hahhh. it was great. kinda had a great time with her. got to hold her cute hands again. c her beautiful smiles. her pretty eyes. haiz. and like, ive been with her till nite seh. hah. not leali nite ah. it was evenin. bout 7 plus. den went home. haiz. and now, i started to miz her again. im cravin for her already. damn. damn. damn. sayin dis all bout her juz makin me so badly wantin to see her like right now! hehe. i love her so much!!!...

nwy arfah, if you're readin dis, i dun know if i wud b able to call you tonight. i will be visitin my grandma again. dier sakit tenat ah. and im kinda worried too. haiz. i'll give you a message...

k la, i think datz all...

im out now...

.:Fadhli<24>Arfah:.

9:39 AM
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