Fadhli

Road to Recovery.

2008-08-01T21:56:00.003+08:00

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Drugs. It causes your health. It causes Hellth.

and....
sunshine, stop bein mad. i would feel so hopeless and useless to do anything anymore. it breaks my heart seein you like that. you would really makes me feel lost, lost to everything. i would suddenly stop and pause, and would be that way until Allah knows. please clarify everything. please fill me in. im sad enough about what's happenin. and it's truly tearin up my heart seein you like this. how much i know you wanna experience the same things that im goin through, you know what's already been done. if you were to think back carefully, i have asked you along but you drop the offer. if not, you are in the same boat as me right now. well, in any ways, im sorry if i have done wrong to you like spoilin your mood and stuff. cheer up. and guide me back to AF's path, please...

love.

Return, With memos..

2008-07-28T22:42:00.000+08:00

hey guys.
to the people that doesnt know, im back in town.
since the last week of june. heh.
yeah. one hell of a trip.
like arfah said to me the other time, im finally done with my MAUT holiday.

heh.

no doubt, ive missed alot of things in Singapore. and honestly, i dont really enjoyed that much. i was more on lookin forward to get home. one of the reason was that i was ill and most of the initial plans werent carried out. that is just so sucky. and the weather there is just so cold. so the giler babi, especially when night falls. you would start to wonder if you could ever sleep in a big oven that you can fit into, trust me. its so cold that even your body cant stop shiverin. hah.

genting was crazy too. they had theme parks in foggy condition. i hate it when the fog comes. coz that would be the time you would be feelin really cold and start to feel numb. as much as you wanna get around happily, you cant coz your body cant react well. so, there was once a communication breakdown in coordinatin my thoughts to my actions. and i swear i thought that i was paralyzed. hah. well actually, i had my sweater on. but grandma just had to forget to bring her's. so i lend her mine. and there i was, wearin only a piece of shirt. and throughout the day, from 12pm-10pm, 10hrs in a freakin cold weather, i had to endure. that's why i fell sick.

and that happened only on the second day of the trip. haha. sucky it is.

another reason that i wasnt really enjoyin that much was because, the trip clashes with arfah's birthday. and that sucks big time. i swear i cant even sleep on the night before the date. and i was deadly anxious to wish her happy birthday by givin her a call. and just by hearin her voice has made me realised how much i have really really missed her and how bad i was feelin for not bein able to be by her side. months before, i had it all planned to make it the best birthday celebration she will ever gonna have. but little that i knew the trip just had to clash with her birthdate.

oh well...

Arfah has turn 18 now. the stage of a legal age. finally i can have her with me to watch M18 movies. and yeah, ive bought her presents, specially not from Singapore of course, and i got her four stuff instead of only one. and since i had my reasons why i got her more than one, ive made a little riddle for her to solve as which riddle is for which number of prezzie. and to my surprise, she guess it all correctly. and that would mean something. well, great minds think alike. no wait... AF's mind think alike. haha. =D

to my beloved darling sunshine,
i know you're used to it for havin to celebrate your special day alone. but it aint to me. and i seriously hate it knowin that i can do something for a change but some things just had to get in the way. im truly sorry and i hope pooh can make it up for it. ive always wanted the best for you but im sorry that it wasnt the best this year. i promise you yet again, you will be havin the time of your life one speacial occasion, sweetheart. =)

so, talkin about arfah, it has been quite impossible for us to see each other everyday anymore. all due to school and shits. especially bein bombarded with homeworks each day from my digital principles subject teacher. man, i havent been to any homeworks since secondary school. there aint any during nitec years. so yeah, wth.

anyway, yesterday, i set foot on the F1 track with arfah! it was really unintentional. she wanted popeyes so much and we had it at the SG Flyer and when we've discovered there's people sittin by the bay, we thought of havin our dinner there too. and i swear just by having those moments there makin me havin those thought of moments we used to had at the marina bay itself. the opposite place to where we were situated. the place where we watched the fireworks festival just above our heads. awesome it is, i want an encore!

=)

i wanna say something about NDP this year.
it's quite.....errr.....boring? yeah. last year's was much much more interestin and exhilaratin. with so much things beyond expectations and surprises. for this year, i would say three cheers for the fireworks. and the best part is, how much the SAF deployin the fireworks. coz this year's one, they have brought where the base for the fireworks closer to shore. so, the outcome would be bigger fireworks. and what's awesome to me is that, from where i stand, those fireworks blastin out is totally coverin the Singapore Skyline behind! awesooome or what! tell me about it. heh.

so friends and foes, if you wanna witness it yourself, you may wanna hit down before 8pm to the esplanade or the merlion area where it's situated in front of the Fullerton Hotel. if you're lookin out for more action for black knights, be there early around 6pm at least. =D

anyway, i had a class excursion goin on today. went to telok ayer street for the heritage tour and shits. i swear things would be so much better if we were to go to IMH instead. at least there's air-conditioned. hurhur. but, telok ayer street wasnt just all. we went to the URA buildin as well. it has been years since ive been there and all the things they had in there are now all different! ARFAH! we have a new place to go on our list! hurhur. i give 6/10 for this trip. hah. it wasnt that bad afterall. the only thing that is preventin me from enjoyin it is the muscle cramps im havin since last freakin friday. i had napfa test and boy oh boy has it been soooo long i had my muscles workin out.

and addin on to the sufferin was on the next followin day. we, motivators, went for an outin in sentosa since there werent any trainin for us on that particular saturday. i had fun. ive enjoyed myself but there were times i just wished i could ever had it all bein just alone. heh. i ran alot from allowin the rest to throw me into the sea for which in the end, they still prevail. and gettin to chase syafiq to get wet as well. so, it burns my cramps man. and it hurts as hell.

well i just hope i would be recoverin real soon. coz im havin my 2nd TP realllllllll sooooooooon as well! haiz. STRESS! STRESS! dont ask me when but do wish me luck aite guys?

shall update more soon.
i miss bloggin for sure but sometimes i just dont know what to write about.
thanks for the patience, readers.

love!

think about it.

2008-06-06T23:32:00.004+08:00

one thing i think that you dont think you know about me always kept thinkin about something.
a particular something that may be similar of the things you're thinkin of or anything that i think you would think i have nothing else to think of. but thing is, i just dont understand why everything that happens always will have you thinkin. about anything, something or just nothing. even things that may seems nothing to you, you'll make it seems like it meant everything to you.

i dont buy that kind shit.
the kind of shit you think you know everything but fact is, you know nothing. and why the fuck should you be so concerned to think about something that doesnt even relate to you. stop pesterin people to seek for the truth. why even bother to know things that doesnt even concerns about you?

well, you want the truth?
now i tell you the truth.

YOU"RE FUCKIN IRRITATIN!
and you're so in no position to conclude everything.

you're like an effin bloodsucker bug that just couldnt stop suckin until you're satisfied. but tell me, what do you wanna achieve at the end when you got to know the real deal? just to satisfy your fuckin curiosity and then gossip about it? grow up, skinny bitch.

besides bein mad at Haniko, im good.
and AF's story almost ended, just like that.
but the torn pages has been scotchtaped back.

yeah.
rough times.

it'll be a matter of time im gonna be filled with rage and violent to people that i dont even see as friends anymore now.
and it has been a while since ive made someone's life miserable.
dont push it.

still, im soooo ready to face the music.

*to hidir, happy 18th birthday bro.
may your wishes came true one fine day.

love.

You Decide.

2008-05-21T23:02:00.001+08:00

ive never wrote a proper entry since the last one.
so here's one.

hello.

my name is muhammad nizam fadhli.
you can call me nizam or fadhli but dont call me muhammad.
someone behind or beside me would thought you're callin him.
i was born on 20th January in the year of 1989.
that makes me the 2nd child in my family.
i have an elder sister and a younger brother.
i stand 1.77m tall in height and 75kg for my weight.
does that makes me fat by actual means?

hah.
who cares.

i used to live in woodlands and i love the environment there more than sengkang.
oh yes.
for about 3years already ive been livin in sengkang,
that would be the northern-east part in the singapore map.
my apartment block number is 192C and it's on the 5th storey.
the number of my door unit may be similar to your last three digit mobile phone number.
go find it.
now, care to send a delivery dude with pizzas in his hands to my crib?

hah.
who cares.

ive graduated from ITE MacPherson during last year's spring time.
and instead of slackin around at home durin the ''honeymoon'', i work my ass off in sentosa.
the place where ive been workin for 4months plus already now.
my initial workplace was in Merlion but ive been transferred to Fort Siloso then.
quite such a bummer.
and scary.

Fort Siloso.

yes.

FORT SILOSO!

the freakin exact place where the war took place.
the freakin 1942-1945 war.
the freakin japanese occupation moments.
the freakin place when it was once named, Pulau Blakang Mati.
and that's would be the Island Beyond Dead in malay.

beyond dead.

ghost?

right.

tell you guys something.

date : 14th March 2008
time : 1642hrs
place : Fort Siloso (Quartermaster - storeroom)

i was told to count the stocks in the storeroom. and so i went in and i was ... alone.
though i never had any thought of "IT", i dont know why the hair on my arms raised as i closed the door behind me. i just have it in mind that it was because of the cold weather. as everything was quiet, too quiet in fact, the only noise i can hear distinctively was the way i breathe and the click sound when i pressed the pen.

hmm.

i went on countin.

...1...2.....3.......4...err...5..

then two out of five boxes of the stocks are done countin.
suddenly something caught my attention.

the sound of footsteps.

too many footsteps, matter of fact.
it was like as though there was an army marchin on.
the footsteps were gettin louder and louder as if they were comin closer to me.

my heart was poundin.

i began to be terrified. just as i was turnin my head for the door, the doorknob turned as well.
the door opened and i wasnt ready for anything to happen.
i said my prayers in heart.

thank god,

it was my colleague.

cibai~
bloody hell.

i thought im gonna shit in my pants.
but for the love of god, i didnt.

ok that's enough for that shit.

so currently, ive been transferred (again -o-) to Oscar&Co now.
that would be near the so-called new attraction in sentosa, goddamn it!
geeeezzz!
well,

the name of it...

''Songs Of The Sea''

yeah.
songs of the sea.
in the sea, there's a song. then boom!
Songs Of The Sea was born!

crap?
you tell me.

anyway, bout NS......
*drum rolls*
DEFERRED!
yeah.

deferred.
hah.

so...
I, muhd nizam fadhli, is currently still a student.
Takin Higher Nitec in Electronics Engineerin.
A 2-years course that simply seems like 222222222222222years.
yeah.
and it's wayyyyy different than the life in my Nitec years..
well, welcome to HIGHER nitec to me.
pfft!

and so,
new friends were made, new alliance were made too.
like, wtf?
it has only been 6weeks of school and things aint really goin on as what ive expected.
one word to sum up everything.

it sucks big time!

ok, that's four.
i completely dont understand what's the meanin of havin new friends but you'll keep on talkin about each other behind their backs.
hypocrites? you decide.

sometimes i wanna be neutral but...
well, pakcik pun tak tahu la nak....

it's all started with this irritatin so-called "japanese" bugger shit.

let me tell you a story.
let's name her, "Haniko".
yes, its a SHE.

hah.
=)

Haniko was a sore loser, daughter of a World War II veteran.
since that remorseful moments of the japanese occupation,
women lost their husbands.
childrens lost their fathers.
so upon growin up, Haniko has been livin with all kinds of a female lifestyle.
Haniko has never met any guy in her whole life as she was a little baby back then.

until the day she had tears of joy upon the approval of undertakin higher nitec,
she was lookin forward for it as the directions of the wind started to change in her life.

days passed, school started.
Haniko was anxious as she step into the school.
she couldnt believe her eyes of what she was seein was all around her.

Males.

just as she got to know where her class were, she started to scan around for hot lookin ones.
and then, blah3, she goes for it.

fuh! this girl kaysiow one.

Haniko was so desperate, she even goes for guys who is havin a relationship goin on. i dont know what she's thinkin but that's dangerous. jeopardisin things and shits. so anyway, to Haniko herself, she thought she have a competitor.

let's name her, "Smacky".

Smacky aint got to do with anything with this bullshits but apparently, Smacky seems to be much more closer to the guys than Haniko does.
Haniko was filled with rage and envy.

kental~

Haniko started to come up with such bullshits that Smacky is havin an affair with some of the guys. that is sooooo not true. Smacky was bein accused with so many stuffs. blah3, Haniko then made an alliance with the rest of the girls. and that is just so super secondary school thing.
crazy bitch? you tell me.

up until now, things has been not good with the malays.
and i cant understand why.
i see groups in our own same blood.
and as days pass by, the numbers of people in the group is decreasin.
why people?
why?

why cant we just get along with each other?
hmmm.
well, that's just life.
and im runnin in this kind of life.
that's just so sucky.

anyway...
i know it has been ages since the last update.
aint havin the ample time to even sit infront of the comp.
havin a test this friday and im freakin out a bit.

besides school and work, AF's life is still standin strong.
today marks the 41st month.
yay! congrats to us!
i hope things between us will still blossom each day!
i love you, always and forever!
woooohooo!

well, i guess that's all for now.
thank you for waitin.
this entry worth the patience?
you decide.

*to ridzwan ramle, good luck for your TP tmw bro! best wishes!!!

love.
and you'll always be my sunshine, arfah...

updates!

2008-02-05T15:59:00.000+08:00

it's sucky.
im seriously out of words to write about almost anything in this world i should write about.
and i hate this feelin.
there is soooo many things i wanna write about and i just dont know how should i go about it.
just a summary of it;

- im now currently workin at sentosa, you can find me in the merlion shop!
- i love my girlfriend.
- my handphone was stolen, so do ask me about my new number.
- i still love my girlfriend.
- i only have 2 birthday presents this year and it's really pathetic.
- i really love my girlfriend.
- ive become thinner. my gf said it's a drastic change.
- still, she said she loves me.
- been to chermain's party, it was more about me, azreil, zaim and farhan's gatherin.
- i got an enormous lighter for the 2nd present!
- im goin ns soon.
- i duno about the progress of my application for higher nitec.
- i miss 11homies.
- i miss ite peeps.
- i miss wrps peeps.
- i miss performin.
- i miss the people in msn.
- i certainly miss arfah even though ive been with her for the past 1hr and 57mins!
- and i really really love my girlfriend!

well, i guess that's all about it. pretty much covers everything.

to my one and only fastest man alive in my life,

ive been around.

it's just that i was regeneratin my energy in the solar system.

now, superman has return...

ok. till the next one.

cheers!
=)

do you know...

2007-12-30T10:14:00.000+08:00

do you know that....
i miss you...?

everytime i dont see you,
i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you....?

and when i dont get to see you, my heart keeps on tellin me that...

i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss 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miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.i miss you.

do you know that...
i miss you...?

yes,
i miss you more...

no,
i miss you more than you are...

no wait....
i miss you more than the word 'miss' itself...

yeah,
i miss you, sunshine........
=(

do you know that...?

first sight.

2007-12-21T16:00:00.000+08:00

it was another same usual day - junks, loud music and slackin around at home while waitin for a phone call for confirmation;

breakdancin.

soon, we had that session a few blocks away from home.
had our usual craps, moves, skills and steps.

while waitin for another friend of ours to show up, we came up with some crew battle. the opposin team was winnin so i thought i should show them some mad skills and there i was, headspinnin. i got nauseous when im done with that.

i took a rest at a corner.

and there i was, layin the first sight of this cute girl, comin to us along with this friend of us that we all have been waitin for.

knowin that she's the only girl around, i know i should do something to outwin the rest and hopin that it would get her impressed somehow. but bro is too good for me. so i kept my cool.

days passed, that cute girl has been slippin thru my mind at times. and i badly wanna know what her name was.

i confronted my bro and asked. instead of givin me her name, he questioned me back why.
and so i said i just wanna know...

"Arfah..."

he said it with a grin.

i smiled.
like some geeks would do, i started to have fantasies then.

and one of the fantasies i had was that i was picturin Arfah bein someone whom i gonna be with for a long, long time...

it seems like fantasies can really turn into reality...
and im glad it did. *smirk*

Happy Anniversary, Siti Norarfah.
Always and Forever, We stay together.

i love you, like i always have been.
i kept alot of faith in us, and here we are..
still standin, holdin on to each other.
may our flame of love burns eternally...

till death do us part...?

heh.
=)

love!

the sound of the crickets.

2007-12-01T15:59:00.000+08:00

it aint gonna be the same anymore.
keep in touch...

i'll come back soon to update more.
love.

distance.

2007-11-21T15:29:00.000+08:00

im sorry if i have not been treatin you right,
im sorry if i have made you all uptight.
im sick and i have to be away from you,
can't you see the pain im goin through?

i'll look for you again once ive recovered,
coz im sure if i dont i might go berserk.
till the next time i'll have you by my side,
when everything's fine and the time is right.

see u again, Viceroy....

and to my sister yang tersaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyannnngggggggggggg!
Happy belated 22nd BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
though ive already wished to her, i wanna write it here!

love!

glowing.

2007-11-10T14:37:00.000+08:00

you know what stars do?
It shines.... ~
=)

*im bored in school.
love.

disturbance.

2007-11-07T07:34:00.000+08:00

sophisticated, that's all i can say. things has been too intricate at times. i hate that, i have to say. aftermath, im not ready for that. but i'll be prepared for anything to come by. stressed, i am. been through alot of things lately and i think i can handle that. now, im just tryin to face any consequences ahead. first obstacles are done, i guess. so what's next?

bring it on.

i'll change if i need to, i'll go away if i should.
and if i have to do anything you want me to, i would.
throw me salt, i'll make your life remorse.
dont think i cant do that in such a full force.

peace.

lost.

2007-10-24T07:12:00.000+08:00

long, too long...
too long since the last ive ever logged into blogger.com.
too long since the last ive put my thoughts down here.
too long since the last ive shared about how have my days been.

well, life's been hectic and occupied. bein with arfah, school, producin beats, ransackin the house for some old stuff and blah3, damn even i find ive moved too fast than time itself. sometimes i just dont remember what yesterday has brought into my life. sometimes i just feel like i really need a time machine to amend some things.

may i?

...?

2007-09-19T03:48:00.000+08:00

***error***

ok, i duno why the last entry was like plain and all. and i dun even knw it's bein posted.
k bye...

emotions.

2007-09-05T07:47:00.000+08:00

when was the last time you ever feel
like you dont belong?
when was the last time you ever feel
like it's just draggy all along?
when was the last time you ever feel
like you're invisible?
when was the last time you ever feel
like everything seems so stable?

when was the first time you thought
music that you heard was unsung?
when was the first time you thought
people heard you shouted at the top of your lungs?
when was the first time you thought
everything was okay?
when was the first time you thought
i would be okay?

i never thought that i would be
so blind.
i never thought that i would be
so kind.
i never thought that i should have
make amends.
i never thought that i should have
you as a fiend.

you make things so much in
confusion.
you make things so much in
complication.
you make things so much in
silence.
you make things so much in
an instance.

never expect things to be
so crazy.
never expect things to be
so uneasy.
never expect things to be
wild like a spinnin fan.
never expect things to be
like this in the end...

on the other hand, here's somethin...

hope y'all can make it.
tix at 12bucks or 15bucks @ the door, pre-sale tix is over...
in case you dont know, Urbanize is performin...
and we're doin our act somethin different this time round..
check it out!
=P

highlight of the day,

i miss you...
Happy Holidays!

'One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they no longer mention...' =)
love!

some stuff.

2007-08-22T07:52:00.000+08:00

its been weeks since ive updated a proper entry. well, ive been hookin with housechores and all at home. and since lappy's down, there aint much to do at home actually. and i mean, literally. been ransackin the house for dvds that ive never watch before just to kill my boredom. and since lappy's down, i hadnt been online in msn, friendster and even here in blogger.com. i aint know why the hell i cant even get through the site usin the home computer. frustratin it is.

lappy's still down anyway. and im replacin it soon. i need it badly for my current flash projects and video productions. im stressin alot when especially, my group-mates absent for some classes. they talk alot about how much they wanna do and contribute but it's obvious that they dont even walk the talk. hmm.

guess what.. ive been just told that ive received the second warning letter for my attendance. hell, it's makin my heart poundin. fact is, i wasnt really absent for class but late. three times you're late, it'll be marked as absent. kinda ridiculous, i know.

now, news flash!
platform 7 is around the corner.
details will update soon.

anyway, school gonna end soon. im loggin out.
arfah, i hope you did well for your oral today.
and sweetheart, Happy 32nd Months Anniversary...
love you...

and bay ambassadors, i love you all. may this journey we share is just the beginnin...

love!

Missed.

2007-08-15T08:42:00.000+08:00

i'll miss everything, every moments, every person whom ive been close with for only 7months.
i'll miss the fun, the talks, the jokes, the laughters, the times we all spent together.

overhead.

2007-07-16T14:53:00.000+08:00

yesterday was one hell of a night, again. the atmosphere was oh-so-great and i just love the primary 5 students. seein their smiles, knowin that they are havin fun, makes me have the great sense of achievement. another one thing that would always be in the back of my mind is when im standin still at the floatin platform towards the end of show and all the fireworks are just overhead. and doin just that, i realised, i would smile away and whispered to myself... ''Arfah....'' yes, i miss her. it seems like it's really a waste for her not to experience this. sometimes, i feel bad about it. for i would be havin all the fun moments and she's not there with me. but i just cant do anything anyway. hmm..

i was kinda disappointed with her when i gotta know she didnt come down for the fireworks. thought that i could meet her up after that too. but, it was all good. it's already happened anyway. and talkin about fireworks, it's truly exhilaratin for this one rather than last week's one. it's truly amazin. i see more and more surprises as we got close to 9aug. damn. now im wonderin if there's really more to come. =)

anyway, drivin miles and miles around SG from 12am to 4am is the best thing ever. that vehicle is officially my 3rd home. the cold winds, the fresh breeze, awesome shit sia. i dozed off initially but bein too cold woke me up. that's when i realised my uncle has been drivin for more than 2hours from changi village. we had supper there right after my trainin for ndp ends. i tell you, it was the nicest feelin to have a crazy ride from my uncle. kecoh2...

well, in case y'all wonderin, ive got over it already with what has happened that i wrote on my previous entry. someone's just really gettin on my nerves. and now, i dont think i would care less either. and it's not always about you. in fact, it has never been about you. so why offended..? perasan.

and someone have got an internet already sehhh. haha. =P
love.

existin hypocrites.

2007-07-13T14:59:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i dont understand of what people actually tryin to prove their points when it is totally ridiculous and nothin lies any fact in those words they said. but one thing for sure, i guess i have made an absolutely right decision for breakin some ties. i dont see the need to be a hypocrite and spread around any non-factual stuff. i guess, i have step into the wrong side of the circle. a circle of friends that is full of bullshits, full of craps, and full of nincompoops. without even knowin such a damn thing and assumin it yourself, you freakin say things you thought it was. well, fuck you. i just dont understand for some reason that why in the world should this still be happenin. and for all that i can see, she still doesnt know what she wants in life. all she can see is just the things that seems beautiful in front of her. call me immature, call me stupid, call me jerk. i dont care. say what you wanna say. as far as im concern, you such a reckless bitch yourself. think about yourself before you say things to others. well, im just as surprised that these things still kept behind. but i just dont get it, why? what achievements do you wanna reach out for? tell me. i bet you wont and would rather say it, 'dah kenape ngan si dek ni?'. and then, you'll start beatin around the bushes. oh wth. WTH la. you're such a miser. or rather in my eyes, a loser.....

so long, SUCKERS!

let's see...

2007-07-11T14:59:00.000+08:00

school, as usual. back to the old days. back to the lepaks, craps, jokes and big big laughters. but the new things, all the subjects are new, even teachers too. but with the new subjects, i think i'll do just fine. the module for this term is..... *drum roll* ..... Interactive Graphics and Video Production. finally, its here. ive been waitin for this module. and i bet its gonna be interestin, and fun! it wud be no doubt that i would score well for this. but the thing that slaps my head is the lessons are all in the mornin. 8am sia. i cant be as early. i do have problems with punctuality.negotiatin with the teacher was tough but i hope she really would change the time to 9am. even the whole class asked for it. haha. my class, almost all of them do have problems with punctuality. ahaks.

anyway, shita lost her wallet this mornin. she dozed off while on the way to school. the next thing she realised when she woke up was when she found out that the zip of her bag was open. i really hope the person who stole it would be in the death page of the newspaper soon.

last saturday, the NE National Day preview for the primary 5 was totally awesome!! the children was absolutely full of energy. and after two trainings straight for not bein able to make it, finally i get to watch the run thru of the parade this time round for National Day itself! hell yea its dope. good news is, it would be totally way beyond any expectations for ndp. and i heard the fireworks would be new too. fireworks bebeh. FIREWORKS! again, when its time for fireworks, it would be like as if it's just on top of me as i would be on the floatin platform. just wish alien would really be by my side when that happens. haiz...

and some thing for alien who tagged me. -o-

Rules:
Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged needs to write in their blog of their own weird things as well and state the rules clearly. In the end, you'll need to select 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

- if im havin cough, i'll often cough out blood instead of phlegms.
- and that would be a good sign for recovery.
- i make funny sounds that never been heard before when im with alien.
- i'll tend to talk to myself, especially when im alone.
- i cant lift up my fourth finger which people tells me im weird.
- i count number 1 to 10 with my fingers not like you do. =)

6people; lan, mizah, zid, ika, mike & azni.
=P

i miss Yazid, who's in my eyes, the fastest man alive.
a person that's willin to dare himself for a challenge,
a person who is respected the way he should earns.
a guy that would do things on an impulse,
a guy who is such a nice surprise when he suddenly calls.
a friend to look out for havin a quality company,
a friend who writes out story like a poetry.
a brother that's awesome for craps, jokes and laughter,
a brother who would always be there for a brother...

i miss those runs, with you in front of me.
=)

there's one more thing to highlight.
people who fancy fireworks, come down to esplanade every saturday as startin from this week till 9aug, you can witness it plus the air and sea activities happenin at the bay from esplanade. show starts at 6pm, ends at around 8.30pm. the planes and helicopters appearin around 7pm. so, do come by and experience the breathtakin performances!

a big day for me tmw. wish me luck!
love.

Thank You.

2007-07-09T14:59:00.000+08:00

holidays are over,
a new term ahead.
once again we'll be together,
and i just cant wait!
=)

i would like to say thanks to;

My big screen tv for the best image quality of movies
and surround audio system...

My very own dvd and hi-fi set in my room for
lettin me watch my favourite dvds...

My haprak hp for allowin me to contact people
around, especially my alien...

My tv in my room for lettin me watched you,
and you watchin me sleep...

My M-Audio Keystation for lettin me play almost
all of the instruments in the FL Studio and beats...

My Laptop for usin you almost 24/7 all this while..

and last but not least. . . . . . .

The designated smokin area, toilet!

I wanna thank you all for bein able to accompany me durin this month of boredom. y'all are just the ways for me to kill my boredom. thanks. =)

and people, those above are all the things ive been with practically, when im home. other than housechores of course.

i cant wait for those familiar faces to be seen again. if you want me to name them, it'll take forever. and i hope i can see alien tomorrow as on monday, school for me will end at 1pm! WOOHOO! but the merepek thing is that, it starts at 8am. wtf. -o-

i happened to watch this documentary about the Aral Sea. 75% of the sea has been evaporated due to global warmin. the ground was actually the seabed, full of particles of salt. and people livin in that area are dyin due to lack of water. and research were made that remainin sea will be all out in 20years time from now. imagine that.

now please...
ANSWER THE CALL.

and Happy 21st Birthday, Kak Siti! =)
YAY YAY! BESOK SKOLA! YAY YAY! BESOK SKOLA!
love.

let's re-cap.

2007-07-06T11:15:00.000+08:00

ive been rottin at home but surprise surprise, it doesnt kill me for today. somehow, i managed to survive in the world of boredom. i was lonely (again. -o-) and im beginnin to like this like ive used to before. it was weird initially to realise it but hey, ive to face it. like, what else can i do? so, im makin the best out of this. and bro has started workin already. so, since it's still holidays, this is the place where i still have to be; my home. regardless i'll like it or not, i have to learn to adapt the temporary changes. if you're bored and alone at home, try closing your eyes for hours. it helps. =)

in times like this, when im all alone, laptop is with me 24/7. i may even forget to have a bath. haha. and that's what entertains me most. second on the list will be my dvd player. i'll be diggin into the cupboard for any movies that goes along with my mood of the day. again, i may forget to bath too. and i think, without these 2 things at home, sleeping is the best option. well, guess that's the third thing i would do. and plus one more thing of course, my bestfriend; viceroy. she is the only thing that able to keep me company wherever i am. not at home of course.

you see, wherever you're alone, you'll intend to smoke. it's because, at least there's something for you to do rather than just standin there, doin nothing. i mean, for a smoker that is. not that it'll look cool to people or whatnots but it satisfies your cravings of doin something. well, this is my point of view anyway.

i watched this movie minutes ago and it truly makes a big impact for me. somehow, it knocked some sense into my mind about some stuff that'll happen in the future. i cried, literally. coz i just wished it will never happen. and that, i wish i could be in anybody else's shoes rather than myself. god.....

well anyway, GLOBAL WARMING IS TRULY OCCURING. so stop smokin, switchin on your aircon, spray your hair or anything that diffuses CFCs that IS destroyin the ozone layer. it is so an irony that when things like this were to happen then people will start to obey. tell me, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???? now then you'll start to panic huh... humans are humans. they'll never change when they're stubborn. dont you see? even you cant sleep at night because u felt uneasy and that, you're sweatin. and when you do, you'll switch on the aircon. c'mon. what fans are for? use them. if one is not enough, then buy another ten of them.

i realised i have many things to say. even for the government. on July 1st 2007, GST rate has been raised to 7%. now.... WHAT THE FUCK?!! it is so difficult to survive in SG economically and yet they still raised up the rate. wtf man. WTF! they have to stop thinkin of battlin out with other countries for economy standards and assumin the people of SG would be ok of it when it's not. i wouldnt be surprise if one day there will be any protest but knowin SG, im VERY SURE that not even a soul dare to do it. they will only talked about it among themselves and then, just go along with it the next minute. i think im beginnin to be racist. seriously. -o-

anyway, i know it's lil late for me to say this but! like someone who i came across in livejournal a few days back said, TRANSFORMERS is UTTERLY FUCKIN AWESOME! yeayea. and i agree with her that the fightin part is a lil bit too messy but the way how the robot in disguise tranforms, its totally awesome to every bit of details. im thrilled and i kept havin chills. haha. awesome laaa. and up until now, i cant stop talkin/thinkin about them. i even went to their site and even play the game online! my rank is Captain already!! semangat sia. -o-

last saturday was one hell of a night. yes, we got the show done. AND PRETTY WILD! i heard girls shoutin and screamin, that's something great in the scene to happen. haha. well, yes, the performance was great. the show was fantastic. i cant believe we pulled it off real good, at least that's what everybody who shook my hand said it. another thing is, i actually forgot my bit to dance. haha. but i got snap out of it and just dance! bwahahha. kecoh it was but ahaks, that was my own personal favourite part. i cant stop thinkin about it too. and we got feedbacks it was our greatest show ever. haha.

school will be re-openin in like 4days time. but trust me, 4days will be like 44444444444444444444444444444days. wth..? i know. if things like i mentioned above will all that im gonna do, then that's how im gonna feel. i miss my friends. everybody in school, even the aunties and uncles of the canteen too. our friday routine, our usual lepak places, our 'headquarters'. haiz. i cant wait for us to meet again. to crap, joke, fight, laugh.. everything. hmmm.

to arfah, i hope i can see you tomorrow. *hugs*
to everybody, remember it's already....
GLOBAL WARMING!!!
because of you all. -o-

love.

home alone!

2007-06-29T07:20:00.000+08:00

ok. mendak is the word for today. seriously. the big headline of the day. im here all alone at home and IT IS SO MENDAK! while waitin for some miracle to happen here - hamizah, nick and diyana came to the rescue. well, just for some time though. then, its back to square one again. and fuckin bro went out, sayin he's workin but hell no he's not. leavin me behind all alone. sial ar. knn la. mendak kau tahu.

where's everyone at home and msn?? cmon. its just thursday sia.

mendak.mendak.mendak.

k la, im goin out. i'll try to look for people to make friends with.

love.

Speakeasy, 65&Hope and Love.

2007-06-26T14:59:00.000+08:00

i had a bad headstart for the day. my vision were twirlin and felt heavy as i raised my head. i aint knw why, i had a bad headache. soon, a date with the toilet bowl was made. twice, actually. and i threw up real good. it was relievin for the second one. felt a lil bit better when i realise it has been hours since i laid my head down. had only dinner as i cant seem to have any appetite earlier on.

anyways, yesterday was quite hell of a day. it was my cousin's engagement day. things were a lil messed up before the day started but its all good as everything worked in an impulse. kak nor's hantaran from abg es was full of chocs. and it's really temptin. if only i could have one. or ten! and abg es's card message for kak nor was really romantic. cool ar.

the day ended with me and bro had to cuci the periuk and all. its really a big -o- but what to do. we had fun anw. and yes, we were all crazy at that moment. cuci-ing and all were really kecoh. and yes, we celebrated her birthday as well in advance. it falls today! and the cake her friend made it for her was awesome i tell you!

critics were foretold too. well, maybe some people are just not bein appreciative. i didnt know someone we're quite close to is like that. i dont understand why this kind of people exist in this world, tryin to bring us down when the fact that they dont even know the root of the story and even worst, makin up some stories. wtf? conclusion; you know it best, so why care others said non-factual things to you..? right? you decide.

oh yes, urbanize's performances on last saturday were really great. super great. i like those lightings and SOUND SYSTEM at playden but not at Speakeasy. and the crowd at playden was abit dead. overall, i must say that the show is rather monotonous. too much of experimental performances. but the one at speakeasy, whoa, things are groovin smoothly man. i remembered smilin and winked to arfah when i was up on stage. and yes, congrats to SWEEF and WFM for makin it through the next round. im sure you'll do just as great. just do your thing and people sure will like it! i have faith in you guys and please, have sufficient time for practise. strive for the best in the finals! to Souless Passion, put your head up. maybe its not the time yet. you guys are as great, but maybe, not now. you can always try again. if its really your passion, dont stop it here. im sure you guys can go far too... =)

now people, i got another performance comin up. details, its on the bottom left column of this page. do come by if y'all free yea. it wont be a disappointin one, trust me.
and i'll be watchin TRANSFORMERS the next day! cant wait bebeh...
sweetheart, tell me if you can follow. =)

HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY TO YOU, KAK NOR!!!

*that's the engagement gift and birthday present from abg es as he never had bought her any flowers in their life before. cool siaa...... -sigh-

hope to see you tmw...
love.

Boredom's Day!

2007-06-22T12:50:00.000+08:00

i woke up at 2pm today, at the wrong side of the bed along with a big headache. i was so agitated by the noise the kids are makin outside but just at the sight of syahmi enlightens me up. he came here with his spiderman suit. and he was lookin out for the spiderman mask that i kept. how cute.

ive been rottin at home today. and i didnt know i ate a nasi lemak yang dah basi. weird it was but it wasnt basi to me. oh well...

oh yes. it is here again. the same thing as last year. i have a show comin up and it clashes with my national day trainin. fucks. big time. im still contemplatin and up until now, i cant even make the decision. yes, this is so fuckin irritatin. can i just back out and go for the 30th one instead? fucks man. i aint know shit what to do.

for someone that matters,
i appreciate that you bought for me that phone. what matters me the most was that it was so nice of you to think about us when you're away. but thing is, i just cant bring myself to adapt to the changes. yes, i should try but i just cant and i wont. im sorry but i hope you understand. i dont mind even if it the oldest model ever but other than what ive been usin is not what ive been lookin for. thanks anyway. i appreciate it. really.

fact is, there aint anything to write about anyway. just waitin for colours to paint my black and white day. and damn, it rhymes.... =)

to the one i loved,
Happy 30th Months Anniversary.
Always & Forever, we'll be together...

im so the mendakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!
love.

insecured.

2007-06-20T19:10:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i dont understand myself. and some things just need to stop. seriously, it's really a pain in the ass. period. and i cant stand myself bein in this way. maybe im envious to almost everything. and maybe im selfish, wantin to be the only one who's there to anything. its inevitable that negativity always conquers my mind. and i hate it myself when that happens. sometimes, things do aint goes the way i thought it was or things that i doesnt even know about and when i found out, i dont like it. i have the thinkin maybe im bein too much. at the same time, that's when the fuckin negativity comes in too. at times, i feel that im just not doin it right, only havin the risk of jeopardisin the relationship. or makin her havin a different perspective of me already. or not lettin her havin the life she wanted.

on the other hand, i think im doin the right thing. well, if things that your loved one would wanna do that you dont like, would you let her/him to? of course not. that's the thing. i duno how should i react at most of times. knowin myself, ive always walked away from it. coz im just scared that it might result in the wrong way. or like, who am i to actually stop her from doin things when there's actually nothin goin on around. i dun wanna make her feel like she's bein controlled. in the end of the day, nothing bein discussed. and hate that too. when shall i be free from this stupid negativity world? guess the first wrong step she took has permanently left me inside the cage. and so i was thinkin, am i still doin the right thing? am i bein a good bf for her..?

it has always been wonderin. and i guess, it shall always be...

realisin this, guess i love her so much and fear of losin her. especially the fear of havin her doin the things that i dont like, it will turn out to be so much more inside one day. too much? you tell me...

love.

laptop's back!

2007-06-19T18:03:00.000+08:00

News Flash!
Laptop is back in action!
yes, truly happy indeed. its been like 235745128548151 minutes and finally, im usin it now!

so what has been happenin lately...

boy has been admitted for NS and was assigned to serve under Civil Defence. and i miss him.
and ive always been out lately. mostly, with arfah. talkin bout her, she has turned 17! it was on June 15th. and seriously, i feel utterly bad for not able to celebrate her birthday on the day itself. a kenduri was bein held and i had to attend it. sucky it was but family comes first. in anyways, ive make it up by bakin! thank god she like it. and the taste was.. err.. nice. at least that's what she said. =P

anyway, went to sentosa for our date and the day wasnt that bad afterall, even though it was drizzling. and we spent 6 bucks each for songs of the sea. while waitin for the show to commence for like in 3hours time, we visited azni's workplace; Images of Singapore. and it was great for the tour. weehoo! seriously sis, thanks!

well, i had fun takin pictures with all the statues. and hilarious moments too. it was all good. and arfah have seen the stupidest costume ive ever wear in my life. yes, it was the costume meant for the National Day Parade for this year. i still prefer last year's attire and dance moves. this year's, whack nak mampos.

ok so blah3, its morphin time! k mepek. it's time for Songs of the Sea! the show was effin remarkable and the settings, lightings, layouts, EVERYTHING! was totally heart-stompin and awesome! it was fascinatin indeed. i was blown away by the way they present the combination of water and lights. not to forget bout the abstract lasers too. it's effin great and worth every penny of 6bucks. this show is really an eye-opener for everyone. to those who haven been to the show, go check it out! call 1800-have-fun! ape je. -o-

ok. im lost of words already to write about anything. but one thing, i had a great time jammin yesterday. teachin that person to play drum was... kecoh. haha. its been long... thanks guys. and arfah's work for her dessert really looks yummy. yes, im droolin already. for the record, this song is meant for that someone i shared the moon with. =P

and the big headline for today;
SURAT NS DAH DTG!!

haiyoyo thambi...

love!
AF~Always & Forever .

mendak.

2007-06-08T04:57:00.000+08:00

situation turns to complexity,
my thoughts were gettin jittery.
im glad the subject being brought up and discussed,
but it'll takes time for me to gain back the trust...

in class;
hidayat, huda, zaimi, shita, nad, azlan and me.
were shocked as i raised my head to look on my surroundings, there's only us left.

boring, yes indeed.
i have to finish up all those assignments that i havent done yet. and hell, its alot.
i didnt realise this. wtf.

exams has started anyway. yesterday was the first. well, it was ... ok. and my last paper was this morning. it was kinda tough. i just pray that at least i'll get a satisfyin grade.

and by the way, this saturday will be held at the floatin platform!!!
yea baby yea!

to Muhd Hidir,
happy belated 17th birthday bro!

love.

guy's day out.

2007-05-28T14:00:00.000+08:00

yesterday was wild,
everyone was up for style.
the day was filled with laughters and fun,
especially when everything comes as one.
Mr.Bean's opening theme was the shit,
that's when people we dont know even say it.
its truly amazin when we all gotten close,
from their face expression's that shows.

and hell yeah, im loving it!

freakin 1%

2007-05-24T06:58:00.000+08:00

lately, ive been rather such a pain in the ass. well, not literally. but oh well, sometimes i just wish that im ''mr know-it-all''. maybe im being ridiculous. maybe im exaggeratin. i dont know myself. i seem that i cant myself nowadays. and i aint know why i always feel restless and shag lately.

on a serious note, i think im havin sleepin disorder. and what ive been doin most in the wee mornin is just starin at the ceiling. call me crazy, call me retard and teletubbies aint much of a help anymore. my life seems borin nowadays. and im in the midst of bein observed in school about my attendance. im on the edge before gettin debarred. hopefully i wont coz if i do and my folks gonna find out, world war 3 will be commencin. trust me.

last saturday's trainin for ndp was great. had it at Changi Beach. it was.. fun. i wasnt had any fun when i got to know that bro had his toe accidentally step onto a nail. yes, that hurts. but he's fine now. thank God for that. the doc gave him a jab for preventin it gettin infected for which, my bro still had his arm weak until now.

anyway, yesterday was ultimately an unlucky day for me. it was so agitatin and screwed. went to supervise my friends about their thing for the audition and hell, the cd player just couldnt work. and the worst of it all, my laptop gone berserk. guess it's about the spyware that ive been ignorin which i really thought that ive got it all removed. and the irritatin thing was, its already been more than 8hours now and it's still only at 1% for the system recovery...

cibai~

patience is all i need. makcik kau bodoh! mcm paham. irritatin sia. stupid spyware.

to ella and hidayah,
happy belated birthday!!!
sorry that im not wishin u on time here but at least i did on the phone! hurhur.
may what you girls wished for, come true one sweet day!

love.
i'll be your everything...
and i miss you, arfah...

sleepy siol.

2007-05-11T20:17:00.000+08:00

i realised that i hadnt been really updatin my blog like how i used to. had the enthusiasm of goin to this blogger.com almost regularly and all. now, that feelin has gone. oh wth. maybe i just dont know what to write about. even if there's things for me to share, i'll tend to forget what it is. righttt..

anyway, ive watched spiderman 3 and it was awesome. totally awesome. watched it last sunday with my cousins, ayim and arfah. blah3, k bye... aku ngantok sia...

fuckin report and my mind would gone berserk if you push it, goddammit. try me.

hatred.

2007-04-28T05:47:00.000+08:00

ive been sick and i was kinda shocked when i found a blood stain on my pillow this morning. and i cant sleep well nowadays. and even if i do, i only startin to feel sleepy around 3am-4am. i dont know why but i just feel restless at home. and i tell you, i have a house but i dont feel like im home anymore. pardon me about my previous entry. it's about my folks and my cousin. why? mum lately has been really gettin on my nerves and im fuckin pissed every each time she will say something... not nice at all. and dad, i still dont understand him and i know, he still dont understand me which i dont understand why's that. not that i want him to follow my way. it's a matter of willing to give and take. and for the record, the fuckin communication and understandin.................

i totally hate what has happen. not that i wanted it to happen anyway. i hate it when you guys dont even let me to have a chance to speak. yes, when somebody talks, listen. but hell, i did listen and i fuckin heed those advices and at times, its for nothing. cant i at least say something that you guys think it wrong? and that, i should at least make it up then? i fuckin hate it when you guys just jumped to conclusion and fuckin blame or reprimanded us for nothing. NOTHING! i wanted to hit the 4glass in front of me on my head, dad. but grandma was there. push to my limits and expect things you dont even think i would ever do it.... try me.

i still hate you, dad...

hello, fucker.

2007-04-22T11:00:00.000+08:00

FUCK YOU!!
I DONT CARE ANYMORE!!
jUST FUCKIN GO TO HELL!!
FUCK EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

I HATE YOU................................................

adventurous chalet.

2007-04-20T14:59:00.000+08:00

ok. ive been wantin to update for days but i just dont know why i still dont. but im updatin now arent i..

okok. nuff said.

April 10th to April 12th, had a chalet at Aloha Loyang and hell it was the craziest and the greatest chalet moments i have ever had. that INDIAN ALMOND was the name of our crib. it aint just an ordinary chalet ive been to. this was more like a fuckin big WHOA to me. its my first time stay in such a big chalet. i couldnt believe my eyes when mashita told me that in front of us was our chalet. four rooms, with staircase, the dining room plus the kitchen and of course, the livin room. aww hell yeah! it was so picture perfect.

well, the ultimate adventure i had throughout this chalet stay is when there was this time on the first night, the place suddenly broke into silence and peace when its struck 4am. me, zaimi and my bro couldnt help ourselves with the boredom and the fact that everyone has turned in. and we, seriously just cant put ourselves to sleep. and so, we decided to have a ride on the bicycles. we explored many places we never been to and blah3, we took a rest somewhere in pasir ris, at the middle of the pathway, right in front of us is the traffic light. it was really so mendak that suddenly, bro jokingly said he wants to go for the thrill to cycle up till tampines. and hell yeah, we did made our way there but instead, we ended up to bedok. so picture that. from pasir ris, all the way to bedok.

blah3, we realised the time was 6.30am. we rushed back to the chalet. and there was a point of time, zaimi nearly hit by a taxi. yeah, we didnt really realised the traffic. we hustle all the way back and then we realised it only took us 45mins to reach back. wth. imagine that fast. haha.

once back into our rooms, we changed to shorts and whoooshh to the swimming pool! blah3, played some ps2 games with the others in the livin room. blah3, when night falls again, it was TIME for the BBQ FIESTA. my form teacher and my networkin subject teacher came down for the bbq. blah3, we had some feast and blah3, i still have not sleep. zaimi had some nap umpteen times while my bro, he had to be somewhere else with his old friends at east coast park. blah3, we had this lucky draw and those who has a packet of chilli sauce in their prizes, will have to do a forfeit. and fucks, i was one of them! aku yg plan, aku plak yg kene. and so, the forfeit was suggested that we have to be thrown into the pool. and so, i was thrown by four guys like a big bag of rubbish into the big bin. after those who had to do the forfeit was done, to my surprise, almost everybody then jumps into the pool! gerek sia tu part... haha.

then we played around in the water. stupid water polo and the slides. some flips and teambuildin games. fun sia. blah3, we were bein asked to be out of the pool because the fact that it's already 2am. hahaha. we were makin so much noise. and the security had to come down and shoo us out. if he hadnt come, i think till our hands and legs were fully wrinkled than we stop bein in the pool. and i must say, it was freakin cold nak mampos. heh.

blah3, i still did not sleep, together with zaimi, kelvin, maria, yat, azlan. we talked among ourselves till dawn. and i cant sleep. blah3, it was time to pack up and tu part aku da malas giler siol. blah3, we took some photos and before we make a move, seriously, some people start to be emotional. even myself. not that we're cryin or whatnot but just, sad that we already have to leave the place. and we realised it's kinda short. so, 3 days aint enough. we should have it longer next time. =)

love you guys! *there's more but they have gone home..

anyway, school has re-open. and now, life's back to normal. finally. haha. been livin with boredom, waddya expect? and yea, what i do mostly nowadays is just helpin my grandma. so, sorry if i have not been updatin regularly. besides, sometimes i find i dont have much to talk about anyway. except that, i miss alot of people!!! and yeah, i have realised that suddenly, i received alot of messages at my tagboard from my old friends nowadays. surprisingly, why suddenly now? hurhur. but, im glad myself that you people have found your way here. =)
so yeah, WELCOME!!!

to SITI MASHITA ZAIN,

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
May you'll be blessed always and live long.
May you filled with love and happiness forever.
May what you've dream for, came true one fine day...
=)

to anyone that matters, it aint just about you. it's about us. all of us...

love!
i see fresh people.
and i think im in love...

changes.

2007-04-10T14:59:00.000+08:00

i had a 16 hours of sleep last night. i felt so lethargic and practically, i aint know why. weird, but true. anyway, i had this dream lately about my old crib at woodlands. damn. and the thing is, everytime i were to dream bout it, i realised my face were all wet because i was crying in that dream. it felt so real, so fascinating. and the strange thing about it, almost every episode of it is the same one except that at a different angles of the picture. right... well, i just wish it will come true one day. i miss woodlands. miss everyone i know staying there, from a 6-years-old kid to 56-years-old folks. and that uncle always would give us a stick of his cool 'cigarette' if he were to lepak with us. awesome it is.

yesterday, i went to grandma's crib and hell it was so long since the last ive seen her. yes, i miss her cooking! and my cousins and my lil' cousins and my aunties and uncles and everyone there. hurhur. a great bonding session i had with them. and damn, my cousins are going out to austrailia soon already. I AM INDEED JEALOUS! but well, the thing is, if the letter from NS haven't yet posted to me, then i really really happy. by then, i'll be following them! weehee! i'm planning to further my studies there. either Brisbane, Melbourne or Sydney. why? because this states has the school that i wanted. there's one in California but i dont think i have enough money for the travel cost and expenses. austrailia just nice. =)

about migrating, most prolly when bro had his NS served. meaning, it's still a long way to go. mom said she may change her mind. so, im not putting so much hope in this.

anyway, i must say that audience in hiphop gigs are TOO MONOTONOUS AND LITERALLY, DEAD! you showed your love by coming down only for your homies, not every performers. that's not love, that's bias. if you said you showed love for hiphop, especially in this local scene, then prove it. if you're into hiphop, then stop wasting your time by coming to gigs and keeping quiet. i must say, you guys sucks big time. the culture of hiphop is not like this. people like sheikh haikel is a good example. he is LOVE. all i see in this stupid thing is all because of a typical malay pride. oh wth...

a new song for a new change. and to people that do not know, i am bald.

love!

Bad Boys For Life.

2007-03-16T14:59:00.000+08:00

"We ride together, We die together..."

Happy 17th Birthday, Brother...
May your wish came true, one sweet day...
I love you. =)

11 Homies.

2007-03-11T16:47:00.000+08:00

things that dont comes around easily; true friends.
It's allusive especially when it's them you've grown up with all these years. The reunion we had on last thursday was another indelible moments. and i realised the time spent were insufficient. guessed we had so much fun. the great thing was, every each of us did make it for this gatherin. and im pretty glad that azfriezal make it too.

and so we had swimmin for the headstart - 'The Return of 'The Waterboys'. ahaks! wanna share with you guys something.

click here.
WaterBoys.

anyway, it wasnt that long though of time spent being in the pool due to time constraint. but, we did went over to the jacuzzi and had a talk about each of our lives now. Next, came the sauna - The Steam Room. that's where we usually had our boys talk then. and as always, its freakin exhilarative when you're done and out. awesome i tell ya.

then after all that, time to change for... MOVIE TIME! ive always admire the theatre room for the space is like totally meant for us. anyway, the movie entitled, ''The Prestige''. hell it was an awesome show. great suspense. absolutely way out of what you actually think the ending would be. it's highly recommended. well, the movie was about 'the pride of a magician and its secrets'. awesome shit sia..

ok, then blah3, the main thing for the event; BARBEQUE! lantak ar, ape lagi.. perut da lapar beb. one great toast and everybody digs in. sai had all his food gobbled up in a few mins time and yeah, yazid, throughout the day, he would always interrupt for his comments when someone's talkin. it's like, he wouldnt shut up. haha. kk, lekz zid.

we had another deep conversations over the table. and me, bein the only one holdin up to N level cert there, asked how has 2006 been for them. and how is it without nizam. haha. i got great appreciative comments and all. got all touched and mezmerised. haiz. how i wish i was with them till the very end in secondary school.

congrats to them who had the school they wanted, and courses.
mohd yazid - republic poly
khairuddin - republic poly
muneera - republic poly
muhd sairi - republic poly
muhd ridzwan - singapore poly
muhd fazrul - singapore poly
nor afriezal - singapore poly
sharifah muafah - singapore poly
impian muliawani - temasek poly
ahmad syarifullah - temasek poly
muhd nizam fadhli - ite madperson(bwahahahah!)

ok. ape je fad. and that's the 11homies. that's what we named our clique. im happy for them. congrats again guys. and now ive just realised that only three school are bein chosenfor you all. cool.

anyway, i wanna share with you people something, again. something that my great friend, Yazid, wrote about us which moved me deeply...

-----------------------------

Run! that was what Me and Nizam used to do without fail on every single school days. We were inspired by Comics, where two characters kinda matched ourselves. Nizam is bulky, and hes very strong. very very strong, im tellin' you. he could just push me out my chair with one arm, i swear i was flyin'. haha. Therefore hes ''Superman''.. And me, slim yet stable, and do things on an impulse, carried the name '' The Flash''.. Nizam, like superman, runs very fast. Superman is faster than a speedin' bullet cos he runs just under the speed of sound. Fer me, im faster..heh. The flash could run around the world in three minutes, due to he's air-resistance aura and runs just below the speed of light. Light and Sound, which's faster? physics.. you tell me ? :)

I wasnt as fast as he was back when we were juniors.. I got sick and tired of him leadin' me whenever there was a frenly run or durin' P.E lesssons.. Tho i couldnt simply do anythin' cos i was very small built, unlike Nizam, hes musculine impressed me back then :P

Tho, as soon as we were wearin' long pants. I realise i could run along with him, and not behind him. However, when we were 16yrs old.. im zoomin' all the way bebeh :) Gradually i get faster and faster and i kept leadin' the track. It was the nicest discovery :D That was also the period when i looked into the mirror to discover some pack of muscles here and there, i guess those meats help me push an extra mile. haha

So when we were 16 we both get the recognition of bein' Superman and The Flash. We ran almost everywhere.. all the time.. we ran more than we walk.
- Early in the mornin' nizam ran fer bus 161 at sengkang
-I ran every mornin' fer bus 912 coz they just cant wait. i usually missed the 1st bustop, so i ran fer the second. 150metres away
-we ran fer the last bell before bein' late comers, from where we drop off. but most of the time we step in just on the dot.
- we ran along the corridors before and after recess and in between lessons.- I ran down to the office to help Mdm farah puttin' back the Class attendance, and back up again.
- We ran across causeway point and woodlands interchange in full speed, dartin' people along the way

Generally we ran like thats the only way to survive.. haha wild huh? Me with my self-made Flash logo on my bag and flyin' hair.. tho the most greatest thing is that Everytime i turn my head to look back while runnin'.. I would see nizam. Fightin' all the way :)

'' When i see you run infront of me, and i see you, and i see the Flash symbol on your bag.. You did resemble him''- Nizam Fadhli

those was the days :)

Info:
-there was once Nizam broke hes anckle, and i made a promise to him i wont run untill he gets hes bandage off hes foot.
- my shuttle run is 8.99 seconds :))
- We broke the 4 years old 4x100m sprint record in 2006.

-----------------------------

believe it or not, i actually cried as i readin it. you've succeed to make me cry, wally west.
i missed those times man. and speakin of runnin, we had our 'run' after the whole gatherin ends. he said that he wanted to run with me to the bus stop. and so we did. although it may seems nothing to you guys, but to me, it was a touchin moment man. -sigh-

i promise you guys that this gatherin aint gonna be the last. and i hope the promises we've made will stay true and be kept in our hearts. the depth of us is phoenomenal. and i hope we will always be. you all are essential. although the gatherin were a lil too short, what matters is that we had that gatherin and did had fun. i do. and thanks for everything. and thanks muneera for organisin this one. the rest of you all, it wouldnt be much more meaningful than it's already is and to make this gatherin possible. what would i do without you all. i love you guys...

ps: pics will be up soon. and that clip you watched above was when it was the first gatherin. sayin, Waterboys pt 1. bwahhaa.

love!
a long entry indeed...

reunion, again.

2007-03-06T18:25:00.000+08:00

a reunion is comin soon with the old usual suspects and im uber excited. the feelin is like the exhilaratin effect of mountain air. truly undeniable. though i was told bout it a few weeks ago, now that the date is drawin near, hell yeah im overjoyed. heard that there'll gonna be a lot of programs. barbecue, swimmin, movie or karaoke-ing, spa and of course, lepak-ing. ok, the venue is at Casablanka; this thursday. last gatherin were as awesome and i bet, this one will gonna be twice the fun. maybe this gonna be the last gatherin until god knows when. i cant wait to have this another memoriable moments again. and i deeply hopes that every each of the 11 will be present.

ika messaged me last night in the wee hours. surprised, i was. just sharin with me bout a rap&dance competition thingy that she was just bein told. to my dismay, the competition date falls on the same day an event organised by beats-society. i want to participate but im reluctant as well not to be present for the event. im still contemplatin.

it's rather appalling when you have someone that knows you more than you know yourself. you think that you're bein your usual self. but, he/she could sense it somehow that you're not. cool, somehow...

and now i realised, i just dont feel right. something's really gets on my nerve. oh well..
to Azhar, Happy 21st Birthday bro...

love.

what would you do?

2007-03-05T15:59:00.000+08:00

ive broken up a girl's heart and i know it's hard for her to let it be mended. im such a jerk to have her believe my words. im such a letdown when it comes to relationships. yes, i know i am. but i want her to know that when my words were said, i meant it deep and it was purely genuine. we had great moments together and yes, i felt that feelin. it has never been a lie nor it was even bullshit. in that very moment, the words that bein whispered to her ear, i could feel somehow that i could go on the life im havin with her as far as we both could see. i couldnt believe myself that my feelings towards her were fadin. i asked myself just why but the anwers just couldnt be found. i wanted the best for us and even to have more great moments. naturally, i dont feel a thing anymore. tell me, how the hell am i supposed to carry on? i feel utterly bad for making her having hopes for me. for us. and it does applies a very heavy heart for me to say it out the truth. i know i should gave her a chance. but, i just couldnt. and truth is, it has never been a lie. i did feel it deep when i said those words to her. i may not be the man of my words of one or two but think back about the others.i let her down, yes. and im truly sorry bout it. even how sorry i feel, i know it wont change a thing. my intentions were all good and i wanted for a break up coz it would be unfair for her to lead us on when im not myself. i will never forgive myself for this. and all im seekin for now is her forgiveness. im just sorry that it'd turned out this way. i never plan to hurt her. im just doin the right thing. hurtin her aint the right thing, yes. neither is bein one-sided love and let her keep the relationship strong. im sorry to have her hurt so badly. if she herself feels that all the things ive done were all bullshit, think again. i wouldnt be doin it if it wasnt true. if you were to realise that there's no chemistry anymore and you've tried so hard to gain back and have tried to work it out but you still cant help to feel the same, would you carry on or would you break the ties? you tell me.

im not havin second thoughts,
im not trynna give hopes.
somehow i felt the need to say it out.
i hope it triggers to anyone who cares.
love.

one missing, it'll never be completed.

2007-03-03T15:59:00.000+08:00

its heartbreakin.
im feelin utterly unsatisfied.
it wont be the same anymore, and you know it.
it may to the others, but, what about me?
i know i wont feel good.
and for the record, you all have been a part of my life.
we're like pieces of puzzle.
if some of the pieces are missing, the picture is incomplete.
the same goes as this.
trust me, i will definitely feel like something's really missing so badly.
i want everybody to be in.
yes, im glad that im in.
but i wont be smilin away nor will i be enjoyin myself on the very day.
the thought of you guys will kept appearin.
ive been lookin forward for us to be enjoyin again like last year.
ive kept my faith on you guys that you all would be in.
i want US, to have the last gatherin before we step into the next stage of life as the fact that this year is our last year for ITE.
gosh.
please..

nadia, please come by tomorrow.
let it be in front of my eyes that they just couldnt accept you.
please. . .

love.

hey there delilah.

2007-02-28T15:59:00.000+08:00

how ironic you can be?
the games you played just past right through me, never leave a decent scar.
oh well. guess i should just lead on as how it should be.

anyway, last sunday was my cousin's wedding day. and hell, we had a great time. well, not literally. but yeah, the food was great. bleargh.

we did our thing there still although the couples werent there. and for the first time in my performing moments, i never had anyone actually crying when hearing to our music. the great thing to me was that, it was just the right moment. dark sky, cold wind - dang, it's just perfect. plus the strings of the music which is the heart of the song, that would probably make her cry coz personally, it does to me. just feeling a lil sadness inside. i didnt show it of course. but really, the song is such a heartfelt one.

on the other hand, someone went through my mind while i was singin. it was rather appalling for her to appear when i closed my eyes. i must say, i miss her. =)

anyway, had a skit competition yesterday and man, we did pull it off good. thank god. people do like our skit but well, we didnt manage to impress the judges enough and came in 4th. neither are we disheartened nor mad. we just wanna do it for the fun of it and some experience with the other proffessional ones. then again, at least we will get the consolation prize and C.O.P . its better than nothing. =P

you know, its kinda thrilling when a friend of yours hinting you about something when you least expect it. coz, that would be when you'll start to realise something that's probably new in your life. heh.

i wish i could fly...

love!

love her till i die..

2007-02-24T15:36:00.000+08:00

she has been stayin here for 3days now.
everytime i see her, i start to feel my heart torn into thousand of pieces.
everytime i hold her, i realised i hold back every tears.
she has been the greatest someone that i have ever met.
she was once a skillful person that knows how to make a dog or bear figured with those toothpaste boxes.
i admire her talents for which i know no one else has it.
i miss those times when we used to have a pleasant chat and all.
i still believe that she has been quiet all this while because of her soulmate that has passed away for 6years now.
she rarely speaks and i miss her reprimandin me for doing things that got her all worried.
haiz.

i dont know why but her hospitality here got me all those flashbacks.
i hope she'll have a better health and speak to us soon...

anyway,
Happy belated 19th Birthday, Muhd Fazil..
may your wish comes true..
=)

love!

all alone, exhausted.

2007-02-20T09:38:00.000+08:00

backaches. backaches. BACKACHES!!!
stop flashin those kryptonites to me.

re-cap and the excitement!

2007-02-10T19:06:00.000+08:00

so let's see.
last saturday was a great cousin day's out ever. really really. still holdin those moments in mind. and just cant wait for another one. we headed out to Sentosa. hell, it has been sucha long time sia since i last step inside the island.

went trekkin/trailin around. walked past the merlion, musical fountain, ferry terminal and etc. exhaustion started occurrin and so was dehydration. chilled for some time and took fantastic photos. just the right angle and just the right pose. blah3, everyone started to feel hot and stuffy somehow, so decided to head down the beach to chill.

Pahlawan beach was the place. some went for a swim and some chill. uno cards were then distributed and of course, munchies2 is needed to go with it. yes, uno cards. tell me bout it. dats like one of our childhood times of card games. blah3, one by one of those who were still chillin were bein carried away and thrown to the sea by those who already been swimmin.

blah3, came soccer and volleyball match. ok, not for me for the volleyball. coz i was too obsessed diggin a hole which i thought i wanna be buried in the latter. but didnt in the end. coz were too surprised that i actually dug that particular hole, all alone and usin only my hands and feets to dig, were at least 4.5feet deep. that already more than half of a body of an average man. haha.

crazy, i know.

anyway, the trip to suntec to get my pay was simply great. it was at the right moment and the right time. everyone - nyok, khai.b, khai.k, wan, kak yan and kak sue - were present. it was like as if we all had planned out to come together at the same time. shockin it was but im grateful still. and for sure guys we will be out one fine day together. mark my words...

you know, it great to have someone who you really can talk to. someone who supports you too in life other than your own folks. someone who you would be missin too when you arent in touch for some time. even though your day filled with shits around but when you received a call or a message from him/her, you'll tend to smile and somehow he/she managed to brighten up your day instantly. and sometimes, when you've come to realise it, you never even been close before when you and that friend of yours were in the same primary school. and just shocked to see how he/she looks like when you found a newsletter and he/she is in it too at the back page and how much they have changed now. hurhur. . .

and yeah, check this out.
my computer has been affected by this stupid virus and yeah, it's like the 6th time now we're rebootin this comp. all my songs, music, beats and shits are all out. gone. GONE!
ive back up some files but ive found out that those files ive backed up, the virus is still in it.
fucks. fucks. fucks. its soooo like akvjkbacvjhabvabvhahbvev sia.

down, yes i m. but well, time for some new music then once i got the software back. uhuh uhuh.
ok. since my comp is down, you guys might be wonderin how the hell i can still manage to update an entry right? well, simply... (yes! i duno why but i knw im bein boastful!) ive got a new LAPTOP already! muahahahahaah! weeeee~! COOL OR WHAT?! hurhur...
i can go lepak with this thing already, along with my m-audio keystation. or anywhere that i wish to make beats at. weeeheeee~

anyway, dont mind about the template. it's superman! i loike...!! =P
if you dont like, then what are you waitin for? go on.. leave ar.. feel free to do so.. and for the record, thanks for dropping by to read the post. =)

and yea, wanna share some great pix with you guys...

one of the pic i loike!

it stated there of which direction and how far is the distance from there to other continents. cool huh...

uhuh... that's the 4.5feet deep of the hole.

there's more la. but nevermind.
had a great saturday last week. hope later on it'll be another great time too.
ok im slpy. nak tdo. bye!

whoooooooooooossshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~

oh ya.. cant wait sia somehow for the carnival later on. confirm gerek! insya'allah...

love!

a new beginnin.

2007-01-26T22:42:00.000+08:00

first day of school which was on last three mondays was a great day. kinda like the first day of my own ITE year. been asked to become the motivator to guide and tour around our campus to the 1st year students of the same department. multimedia techonology, that is. so, as just the day starts for the programs, new friends were made. and some did thought that im from phillippines. wth? and the oldest i was told of what my age was 23 years old. do i look that old? c'mon.

since that very day, i knew for the rest of my years in this school, i would have had more friends than just my classmates. not that i'm sayin that i dont like them. i do. but, it's like.. you know... like that and like that... agaga. right.

ok. let's keep this entry short. first thing i wanna say, i've been wantin to update for more than a week now. i just dont know why i cant even go to this blogger.com site. fcukin hell. i've tried and tried. and now, im just tryin my luck and thank god it's aite.

and so, many stuff has been going on around in my life. first and foremost, im 18 already! haha. and, my 18th birthday celebration is the most great and memoriable one. god. trust me, i never had such wonderful celebration before. matter of fact, i dont think i even had one. it's like, every year, it's all the same thing. have some family feast or go anywhere of any shop that you've been to and there's stuff there you wanted. for this year, ok, urbanize's performance was supposingly to be on december's speakeasy. but since imran's album in launchin on that very event, our's was brought forward to january. now look, speakeasy has always been organised for the last saturday of every month. to my surprise, for this month only, it was on the second last saturday as the last saturday of january, Singapore Arts Museum had some big event bein already organised. and i was rather anxious as it was on the same date as my birthday! yes! and so, blah3, the whole thing was such a great surprise. i didnt know imran had it all planned out.and the great thing was, the cake was enormous! i was dead seriously thought the big box of cake were meant for rauzan's as his album launchin on that day too. that cake, it's like a storybook, which it represents my own book of lyrics and song. check this out on what was written...

and this was the sabo...

this is my family..

Urbanize with Abg Imran..

four times was how many they had put make-ups on me. hell, it was crazy. and guess what, i knew that this is coming. i mean, all these crazy birthday bash. since my classmates were present too, first, they carried me up and threw me into the nearby fountain. oh hell. blah3, after i already had washed all that cream and cake on my face for the second time, they dragged me down to the toilet again and started singin the birthday song (again. -0-). once done, . . . duush! buush! tuush! hell it was painful. but i dont mind. then, after bein bashed up, they rolled me up with that toilet tissue paper. haha.

i wanna say, it really paints a memoriable picture in my heart. a special moments i can never forget. i wanna say thanks to..

My Family...
-Mohamad Jasni
-Juaini
-Jasmawarni
-Muhd Nizam Farhan

My Relatives...
-Fazil & Family
-Cik Said & Obek Rahim
-Kak Siti & Abg Faizal
-Kak Illah & Abg Suhaimi
-Wak Liah & those crazy, beautiful daughters in the fam
-Ifwat Wafiy
-Shikin & her bf

My Friends...
-Hamizah!
-Shaifful
-Rozaimi
-Hidayat
-Mashita
-Maria, Aishah and Akilah
-Abg Imran
-Syarif & Alyph
-all the BS artiste
-carrefour boys!
-Chermain
-Hidir!
-Faris
-Fizz
-Arfah!
-Azni!
-'Arifah!
-Izzat & Hasif
-Ya Ting
-Sopfian
-Nurizfa
-Nash
-Atiqah!
-Impian!
-Illah
-Saleha
-Iris!
-Lutfi
-Ruhernie!

and of course, Fartika.... =))

thanks for rememberin guys... 'preciate alot! and to those who came and witnessed everything happened at SAM, thanks for the support! i was as much suprised as you all. to my bro, sis and abg imran, thanks for plannin out this surprise. mum and dad, thanks for the cake... =) thanks all for experiencin this with me...

thanks brothers for everything...

~and oh! yes im schooling in a few hours time. crazy, i know. so much for makin it short. screw you...
agagagaga.

love!

delivery team, take care.

2007-01-08T20:45:00.000+08:00

and so i was thinkin...

its already my last day of work..

having my last..
-time with nyok, oli, khai, sheikh, kak yan, kak sue, kak nor and the drivers for work
-cigarette from sheikh and nyok
-look of the store, trolley and roller cage
-walk up and down from level 2 and basement 2
-clearin up the trolley
-takin the empty boxes
-holdin the trolley key
-wearin the uniform
-talk with the uncles and aunties of other departments
-moments with the trolley boys
-time shittin at the same toilet and cubicle

although it was for a moment, the bond were so tight.
i have to admit, im rather soft when it comes to this...

i'll miss the fun, shit and hell with you guys...
and big thanks to nyok and khai for the last moments chillin at marina square till 3am just now? yea, thanks...
nice knowin you all, dudes...
it was a great hell of work even though it WAS like hell exhaustin..

and now, school gonna starts in 9am later on. oh hell!
k, im out.

love!

ermmm. tired sia.

2006-12-29T18:36:00.000+08:00

i wanna update. but i forgot already what to write about. dammit.

but oh, anyway, i pass my exams. =)
checked out the results just now.

and work was like hell today. haiz.

i miss alot of people.
will meet you guys soon.
especially fartika.

im tired. will sleep soon.

and, new year is coming. and so is my BIRTHDAY! agagaga.

till then, take care.

ps: put your head up. in a way or another, you'll still succeed one fine day. trust me.

love!

2006-12-18T23:22:00.000+08:00

so guess what. ive started workin. yes, i do. well, it's been a week now and today, i'll get my off day! hell, the work are all tough and fuckin tirin. however, im willin to take it somehow. maybe for now. haha. it's really backachin job. and, i really need a good massage soon. but in one way or another, it helps me to build up my muscles. really. i could feel that my muscles are all burnin. it has been wayyyy too long since ive last work out. but anyway, ill not be workin for long. when school re-opens which is on the 8th of jan, i'll change from full-time to part-time and that is, only for a week bein as a part-timer there. then, i'll be back to concentrate on my studies again. so, im not gonna tell you guys what im workin as in here. go figure. =)
ask some people that saw me workin before. agagagagaga.

hurhur.

sorry for my absence anyway. been busy with work. that's why. so, blame it to work! not me! =P

ok look. it's 6.25 am right now and im still nowhere to be sleepy. crazy, i m. got back home from work just now at 1am. and since then, been playin a soccer match game in brandon's laptop here in my crib. we played until 3plus. then, lepak downstairs. had a great talk with him. so we chill up until nearly 5am, we headed back. and from just now, i dont know what interestin thing to do. while tryin to make myself to be sleepy, ive been watchin teletubbies, which i have them in vcd(bought it long time ago ehh... =P), and borin animal shows about their nature and habitats. and damn, still, im not sleepy.

so, ive decided to blog! hurhur. and so here i m. my days so far has been tirin, all day and night. gotta go to work at 11 then got home at least before 1am. then call swthrt then go sleep then woke up the next day and gotta get ready for work already. and that has been my daily routine for now. except for today. didnt call her coz she needs an early rest. was told that she aint really feelin well.

and talkin bout her, im meetin her today! like, ... finally! woohoo. im sooooo lookin forward for this. it's been 8days since we last met. so we gonna hang around and blah3. at last. weeeee~!

and yeah. fuckin hell i found a beat that my brudder buat ar beb. and fucks! its fuckin headbangin sia. cool2. member da pro ar! bwahahahaha.

anyway, there's been a change bout urbanize's performance on the next speakeasy. it's been brought forward to january's due to the launch of Imran Ajmain's debut album. woohoo! great. and regardin bou shaifful aka joe of urbanize, he's in NS and i managed to see him at pasir ris interchange for his departure to tekong. damn. soon it'll be my turn. somehow cant wait sia. heard the conversations ramzee had with the DSC fam the other day bout his NS life. agagaga. austrailia trip bleh blah suaaa....... wth with migrate. i mean, not for now ar..... hurhur.

ok. i dont know what else to talk about anymore. only one thing left. i seriously, deadly, really missed ika sia. especially her. and i was surprised that a few days back, since we've so long not been seein each other and it's impossible for me to make some time to meet, she actually make some time to accompany me to work as that was the only way we can do for us to meet. i didnt ask her nor even want her to accompany me coz it'll somehow make things difficult for her as her agenda was kinda tight for that day. still, she willin to have some time bein with me. i was like damn. she's so different frm my ex. not that im tryin to compare but i never had someone to actually makin things happen in the relationship coz it has always been me doin the job, literally. there's no give and take. haha. wth. but really, im thankful to have known someone like her. hurhur.

i missed some other people too. since ive been workin, there's no time for me to be online or whatsoever sia. haiya. leceh horr. i missed chattin in msn with ika, mizah, louis and ella! they're really great friends(and great girlfriend) and they're willin to layan ur merepek-ness, i mean, my merepek-ness all day long.
hurhur. now that's my bestfriends. and will always be no matter what. =)

anyway, yea, although i have had wished on the day itself, just wanna say it here still...

To my dearest crazy-but-lovely beloved Siti Nurhazwani,
HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!

Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to Hazwani...
Happy Birthday to YOU!!!

weeee~!

and also,
To my psychotic and crazy freak Mohd Rozaimi,
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!

Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to Rozaimi...
Happy Birthday to YOU!!!

weeee~!

Haha. da kenape ehh...
...and there's more to come sia. got alot of my friends are dec babies. waaggagaga. =P

till then, kay bye!
senang2 dtg lah lagi kat blog saye ni. terime kasih eh.. buat susah je...
da bleh blah ar korang skrg...
ape lagi tunggu...

agagagagaa... =P

*imissyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....*

tc everyone. enjoy life to the fullest.
its 7.20am now! I wAnT tO sLeEp LaH dEiii....!!!!

love!

2006-12-07T15:59:00.000+08:00

ok. im BACK!
i wanna write many many stuff here but seriously, i aint know where to start.

okok.

during the month of november, there's been really alot of things that have been happening around. and back during raya, it was great. but the only one thing that i hate about this year one is that i never get to celebrate it with my beloved clique of secondary school mates. wtf. but hell, what past has past. there's always next year. right... we'll see bout that.

so, anyway, guess what. it have been already two years and 27 days since i've moved in here in Sengkang. and well, finally, i had more friends now! weee~! seriously, im very much thankful to have at least a friend here. except for my neighbour ar, brandon. well, thanks to him anyway. i got to know this guy, leon. and there this one time, some weeks ago, he gotta organise an event for his diploma project. and so he thought to have a performance in one of his programs. so then, he approached us, Urbanize. and blah3, we performed on his day and that's when we gotten close with each other. and besides that, during his event, there this two chinese girls were like around when we, Urbanize, were havin our rehearsals. and damn, they're really friendly. blah3, we chatted for some time and found out later that both of them staying in the same estate as me. in fact, one of them just staying next block. haha. it was surprising alright. and so, i had five friends already here in sengkang. im lookin forward for more. =)

and yeah, there this one day, shaifful called me up and said something that's very much sad for me. well, he told me that the performance we had on leon's event could be the last one. i went, wtf. he's goin NS! i cried. and that time, i was with my girlfriend and i cried in front of her. hurhur. so anyway, we chatted for a while and i was still cryin right until our conversation ended. he's leavin this friday. and seriously, it's like so unexpected for me coz it's really a sudden thing to happen. i was like expectin for him to go for NS by somewhere around early next year and im prepared for that to happen. but i wasnt prepared to have had it to happen so fast. that's why i cried. and i was sooo lookin forward for our next performance in public again on this comin 30th dec. but not anymore now. hopefully, somehow, he can make it for the day. as i know, the first two or three weeks, he'll be bookin out of camp already. haiz. i really hope we can be performin back again as a trio. haiz...

another sad thing for me is that the fact that my girlfirend is graduatin already. today was her last day. so, im not gonna see her in school anymore. there aint gonna be her to be lookin out anymore when im in the canteen. there aint gonna be her friends to be around anymore. there aint gonna be her presence anymore. but well, still, i have her in my heart of course. and will always be, until god knows when...

anyway, to those people who might be wonderin, the girl that is beside me in the photo at my profile, is my girlfiend. how do i met her? back in those times when i first set my eyes on her in school. but then, we got to know each other when we both were the motivators in NDP. im really thankful with that. and i remember, i was the first one, in person, to wish on her birthday just as it strike twelve midnight. that was a great memoriable moments we both could ever had. hurhur. and there has been many great moments we have had. and seriously, im so grateful to meet someone like her. and she very much have a character like mine. but the only thing that is different, her sarcasm is like a must to be said. ahaks. but however, i love her. and hopes for the best in us.

oh yea. on the 18th of november was a one great moments i had too. it was my sis's birthday party. her birthday falls on the 16th but celebrated it on the 18th at downtown east chalet. it was a hell of fun all night and as usual, she had her sabo from her brothers and cousins! her birthday cake was like fuyoohh! and i wanted to post the picture of the cake up but dont know why cannot! it was an ice cream cake.

fuckin hell.

yes, im jealous. hurhur. bluekk!

so, had the chalet for 3D2N. the first day was for my sis's party and the second day was family day. it was another great fun alright. went to escape theme park in daytime. and really, the rides are gettin more and more borin. i seriously need more of those thrills and shouts. they must change those rides already. bwahaha. and yeah, the games that i had to organise for both days pulled off good. it wasnt really that much cooperative on the first night. thanks to swthrt and my friends there that brightens me up when i was tensed and upset. aindil, hidayat and razman came for my sis's party. and they stayed for the night. as usual, chalet for me is a lepak-ing and explorin time at night. we went to seek for ghost around and only to find an irritatin-yet-scary-lookin face mask hangin on this tentage. we took it and disturb to whoever walk pass us. it was funny like hell. there were people shoutin for help and run away like a speedin bullet too. haha. KLAKA SIA! wished you all were there to experience it together. and yea, i lurrrrrvvvveeee havin a chalet. dont mind wherever it is. as long as we have the time to chill and explore around. what's more, it's when we'll discover new stupid and fun things to do. =)))

i have this thing bout prom. recently, bro had his prom. more like a night party to me. hurhur. serious sia. but that's not the point. the point is, he had 'PROM'!! he had his secondary school prom night. i aint had one. wtf? i wanted so much to have one when im graduatin in my secondary school. but my principal sucks to the core and to the max of the maximum of the maximum of the maximum. yes, im jealous bout this too. it may seems nothing to some of you but the way as i see it, it's one night where you can have the last time bein as a secondary school student with your mates and to have the last gatherin together before you goin on to the next stage of your life. haiz. and that, i hate my clique bout this. for the first time in the history of woodlands ring secondary school, they had a prom organised recently. bout 8days ago now. i wasnt bein asked along! fucks! it was my batch even. the sec 5s. haiz. but hell, ive put this behind me anyway. what past has past.

and another thing, bro's girlfriend had to leave for austrailia yesterday and well, it was a sad day for him of course. i didnt follow him to go to the airport though as i dont feel to disturb in any way. but of course, i told him if he needs somebody on his side, im willing to come down anywhere he wish to be and talk. i gave him a message and told him that whatever happens, im sure that she'll be looking out for you too of course. then, he told me he cant accept the fact that she's goin. im sad for him. then he msg me and said he's like cant hold back his tears anymore and wishes that none of that would happen. blah3, when he came home, he told me bout what happen. damn, they indeed meet up. but that was way before her flight. when it was time for her to go in, my bro didnt make it on time at the check in point. fucks. at that point of time, my mind suddenly paints a picture of what would happen to my friends if im confirm gonna migrate for austrailia soon? haiz. but let's not talk about it yet. let's just cherish and treasure the moments we gonna have for now.

oh yea. regardin bout my next performance, its on the 30th dec, 6.30pm, at the Glass Hall - Singapore Arts Museum. and, maybe, countdown party in woodlands, beside causeway point, the open field there. =)

anyway, i miss my girlfriend. and i love her so much. and believe it or not, i m her first love and first boyfriend. god. it's quite unbelievable that in this generation of us, a girl like her could have never had any relationships goin on before. but well, she really dont. that's what makes me feel that im truly fortunate and whatever it is, i'll try my best to make the best out of us. hurhur. and swthrt, i love you and i love you and i love you... and i love you! =))

i dont know what to write anymore. guess i shall end here then.
take care everyone. till the next time i update again. =)

love.

2006-12-07T14:02:00.000+08:00

now dis is a new skin.
CONFIRM, it'll be the skin for now...
the previous one, it's too bright for me. hurhur.
like hammy said, it doesnt suits me at all....
bwahahahaha...
okok. will update bout wad ive been doin in last month and stuff i wud like to say..
so, until den...

STAY TUNE!
agagagagaga... im such a drag....

2006-12-06T01:23:00.000+08:00

hi all!
i know, i know. it's been damn fuckin long. hurhur. lamer sia.
not even one entry in the whole month of november. agagaga.
well, im back. =)
but, maybe, just maybe, this is just a temporary one. i mean, the skin ar.
i'll update about almost everything soon.
there's alot ehhh. so many thigns i wanna share.
but not now, so....

do stay tune. =)

2006-10-09T02:58:00.000+08:00

hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

im so relieved.
ok, like, i've spent almost bloody freaking 12hours cleaning out every corner and every cabinet in the kitchen and im terribly worn out now. somehow, altho im exhausted, i just feel like updating my blog still. =)

so, this whole two weeks of this fasting month, i've been working my ass off cleaning up my room, the living room and now, the kitchen. and freaks, it's all massive cleaning sia. and i kept not having sufficient rest and all. damn, my back hurts like fuck right now.

but anyway, it's not only me doing the housework. did it along with sis this time round. cleaning up the room was only myself and it took me more than a week. too much documents and old stuff. and fucking bro not helpin me thruout. he with his 'mat rep' attitude and always tend to chill ard with his friends instead of helping out doin the housework. haiz. anyway, cleaning up the kitchen with sis was kinda fun. and we kept motivating each other to hustle and stuff the moment we're about to change into the ''lazy-mode''. hurhur. now, its all done. FINALLY! well, thanks to ciara too. ahaks...

why?here's the thing. basically, everytime my siblings and i, if we all were to clean up the house or whatnot, we'll always turn some hiphop tunes loud up thru the air. this how makes us keep goin on and on and on with the housework. seriously, it gave us some motivational support. it helps, really really. bout the ciara thing, we keep on playin the song 'Get Up feat Chamillionaire' and yeah, it keep us the willingness the kemas2 here and dere with those beats and flow. i loveeee that song sia. you will tend to get crunk yaw! ahaks!and watch the clip, it bloody bloody good lor.... agagagaga. =)

ok, so, the kitchen now - sparkles here, sparkles there. weee~! im so relieved. we kemas everything sia. since we've moved in ard two years ago, the stuff bein put in the cabinet aint really being sorted out well. so yeah, we've threw the unwanted ones and all nicely organised. and, it's all spick and span! im so happy somehow. its worth it. and already been getting ready the necessary stuff for raya. now im getting excited. ahaks. i tell you, i'll be going out confirm with alooooot of people. damn damn damn. but if only that someone will be there to be around me, i wont be tired going out always. hurhur. . .

anyway, yesterday, went out with the ndp people. altho it's not really in full strength of the malays, i had a great time with them. im really grateful and rather surprised that Lim De and Danny were present too when i was only told Estee would be tagging along. and the great thing is, they will be joinin us around for Hari Raya. total greatness! im sooo looking forward for this. they bought themselves baju kurung yesterday. and yea, it'll be more than just an outing for raya on that day for sure.

so we break fast at Mr.Teh Tarik Eating House. blah3, suddenly, to my dismay, someone had to go. then ended up, almost everybody had to go. and i've enjoyed so much that i wouldnt want it to end. seriously. it's like, it all happened so fast. i thought i would wanna spent much more time with them and catch things up but ended up, im bein only with hidayat. but at least there's someone. and the other thing, it would be so much great if that someone wouldnt have to go much early than we all expected. it's like too fast that you gotta go. hurhur. at least we could have much more time to talk and all. thanks for the hug anyway. =)

ok, im gettin slpy. seriously, im beat. and aches all over my body. i need some real good rest with a damn good body massage. hell yeah i need that!
but first thing first, imma have to bath before i sleep.
i stinks like a dead fish mixed with some expired foods and rotten fruits. . .
yeah... AS IF!
kiweeekk, rabak sak tu. ahaks!
till then, nites boppers!

one more thing,
i know it's like ive said it but,
Happy Belated 17th Birthday HAMIZAHHHH!!!!!
just feel like writin it in here.
hurhur.
a great friend she is. . .

love!

i miss you and i love you.
i love you and i miss you.
haha. siow...
bleargh~

get well soon.

2006-10-03T14:59:00.000+08:00

it's pretty pathetic how life could get any mean to us. like, how sucks it would be if things were being jeopardised because of another thing when you're already comfortable with and confident about it. how easy can it be if every complexity in our daily lives could be solved so much in simplicity. i'd really wish for that. of course, one must presevere to achieve the things you always wanted. but, in some cases, can it all just get along well? now, beats me. i aint know what the fuck im talking about. but, im trying to make a point. think about it.

ok. a message alert tone woke me up this afternooon. thought i'll be waking up around 4pm or 5pm. but well, thanks to my friend that i got my ass out of the bed much early and that, i have more time to get the house cleaned up. yeah, we've start kemas-ing here and there and boy, it's exhausting alright. and knowing my room, hell yeah it'll take like forever to have it done. really. and i aint know shit why. it's been more then four days but my room is still nowhere to be near done. ahaks. but i tell you, i'll make my room like bammm for sure by the time it's raya. =)

so i had spent most of my time today having a movie marathon at home while cleaning up my room. since i transferred the dvd player from the living room into my own room, i kept on watching dvds that i have in the drawer and ive never watch before. so yeah, some were pretty boring but some, it's really awesome! didnt know i've got some great 'low-profile' movies here at home. and hell no it's piracy. straight up it's original. been enjoying watching movies alone so far. but then again, it would be much better if i'll be watching it with someone. really really. . .

anyway, two days ago, i had buka at my nenek's crib-mum's side. and hell, it was great. i mean, it always have been. the togetherness, the family bonding, the kids, the teens and the craps and jokes. haiz. every puasa, it's a must to be down at my mum's side. and it's been rather long i last saw them. then many things happen. one part, i asked everybody along for some games and yeah, it's all cute. hurhur. literally, every kid listens to me coz they treated and even called me 'Barney'. dont ask why as it's rather embarassing. agagagaga.

so some parts of the house is all cleaned up and i just cant wait to see the look of my home by the end of the day. and yea, with my room being re-decorated. weee~! and yea, have i told y'all my comp speakers now changed? it's a blast i tell ya. i really like it. the sound system is much more clearer and booming. i can now clearly tell that how is the reverbs or the flanger, the effects or the overdrives of my beat-makings going around. coolcool. thanks to dad.

you see, sometimes i finds it hard to believe. sometimes, your father can be such a pain in the ass. in other words, you're always fucked up. then you ended up locking youself up in your room, turning the stereo volumed up and would be throwing tantrums at things around you. or even, abusing youself. if that doesn't occurs to you, it is to me. and almost everytime i did this. sometimes without the music thing. and well, it's like im being traumatised. i kept on picturing how invincible i would be when im sooo angry and everything around me is all destroyed. like i once pictured the television set and comp is all wiped out. dang. i can be dangerous when im angry. seriously, its been many times ive broken my closet mirrors. but sometimes, instead of those mirrors, the walls became my victims till they bleeds.

fathers is always right. but sometimes, it's bull. why cant we even make choices when we know ourselves best? yes, we know you all always wanted the best for us but dont you guys even thought what might we feel when those things is not what we're lookin out for? and it's actually what YOU wanted, not ME. but anyway, how resentful it seems like i am, he's still my father. and sometimes, he's the best. and i finds it funny and hard to believe. haiz. i cant believe im saying all this crap. im out now.

before that, to those peeps taking N lvls,
GOOD LUCK!

and to FAEZAH,
Happy Belated 17th Birthday to YOU!
may your wish come true one fine day. =)

love.
and oh, i hate my life.
but i really like it when you are around me.

i miss you... . . .

2006-09-26T10:42:00.000+08:00

the carnival was ok.
the outing was great.
and to Ridzwan Ramle,
Happy 17th Birthday again bro..
=)

so,
yeah..
whatever.
yeah, whatever. . .

get that.
=)
hurhur.
i dont know what to update.

abgv;ushrugbursbv
adsfnugeee,ewqojoewq

kay bye.

2006-09-23T14:58:00.000+08:00

ok. well, hello?
i think my blog will be consider dead soon. i aint know why but i do thought of closing it down soon. or prolly change a new link. hurhur. seems like almost everyday that i aint have time or maybe just that i didnt make any effort to blog or just that there's nothing acually i should blog about. but tonight, i do. heh. right...

this morning, i realised that i woke up at the wrong side of the bed. so, i'd thought to myself there'll be things be going on wrong. checked the time and it's nearly 10.30am. i jerked off my bed and quickly get ready for school. class starts at 11am and im still in nowhere to be near school. the journey from home to school is approximately 45mins or so. and oh well, i actually got out of my crib around 11am. right. so, i rushed myself to the interchange and wait for the bloody bus. blah3 the bus came and blah3, i slept in the bus.

when i woke up, as i looked outside the sidescreen of the bus, i found the surroundings were very much unfamiliar. i shook my head for some 'reality adjustments' and i realised i've passed my stop to school. right. so i alighted the bus and went to the opposite side.

blah3, reached school, i still have some lil time to finish up my work. but i didnt. i dont know why but i just dont feel like doing anything. so i didnt do my work. instead, i joined zaimi and yat watch this stupid japanese clip and hell, it was damn hilarious. so we had our laughs and craps in the lab, as usual. blah3, realised the time that we're actually late for friday prayers. so we lepak at the usual place outside school.

to kill our boredom, we did this style of game where we followed the style of those japanese games. this silent game. and it's all a dare game. and fcuks, we played three rounds of the same 11 dares. first round, it wasnt me the most. everybody had an equal treat. but when comes the second round, fucks!! i had the most dares! and those that i encountered was;

- everybody pulled my hair for all their might for 5secs
- i had to smell the garbage crusher point for bloody 30secs
- i had to smell my own shoe and hell, it's unpleasant; for 30secs
- zaimi pinched my nose freakin hard for 10secs
- yat and zaimi pulled my ears all their might for bloody 10secs

then blah3, the third round, the most unlucky of me, i had to be slap by maria. and the pain of her slap i tell you, thrice than a mother slaps her child. and it still hurts now. freakin hell. tangan batu sak dek tu. . .

then blah3, the guys and maria headed down to tamp and just chilled around. blah3, went home. so here i am, home. duh! agagagagaga.

hmmm. i sorta had a great day. afterall, this is the last day of the term. we ought to have spend some time together after so long. and the whole day, ive been bullied by maria and yat. freaks! agagagaga.

oh yea. regarding about the thailand trip, i wont be going! backed out last minute and afterall, i've only been one of the reserved to go. right. so, im not going. it's sooooo wasted. i wanna go still!!! haiya. but, well, must think of the people that i'll be leaving behind. they'll miss me later. agagagaagaga. right...

anyway, tomorrow, ITE will be having this carnival down at Bishan Park from 9am to 6pm. tix at $5 i think? and im going. i have to anyway. ahaks. gotta be at the stall for long hours. but i think i can choose to help or not. agagaga. but most prolly of course i will. =)

gonna end my entry now.
but before i do, to Ummi Sarra,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY~!
Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to Ummi!
Happy 18th Birthday to YOU!!!!!
weee~!

and yea, to Azni, once again,
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO!!
i know yours was on the 20th but well, didnt managed to write it here.
=)

and to Maria also,
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO!!
yours also on the 20th. ahaks...

whoiii, ramai nye birthday2 ni smue...

MINE IS 4 MONTHS TIME!!!
gonna be 18...
then, vroom! vroom! VROOM!!!
agagagagaga!

love!

2006-09-20T14:22:00.000+08:00

i was surprised and at the same time, very delighted to see my old classmate, Rosfaizzah to be in sengkang this morning. i took the bus to the interchange which apparently, she's taking the same bus with me. noticed her when we alighted from the bus. and she were shocked too to see me! a big wave she gave to me. agagaga. well i miss her alright. im just so delighted if anybody i knew in my life to be down at sengkang. it's like because simply, i had no one here. suck it is. nearly two years already and i rarely see any malays around this neighbourhood. even if i did, 'they'll be those mats and minahs. right.

so today in school were kinda plain. well, i came late for school, as usual. ahaks. it's starting at 8am and i came like around 11.30am? yeah. i do have problems with punctuality. =)

so blah3, saw ika and the gang celebrating ummi's and lini's birthday at the canteen. and then blah3, went out of school to meet zaimi and yat. then we lepak2 here and there while waiting for my bro to come. we have an audition, that's why. i merely got mad with my bro when he didnt listen to me of which way to go to my school. yea, we fought for awhile on the phone. fucks. usual stuff. and we were late already but luckily the guy in charge for this audition thingy is easy-going type. if not, confirm i'll be throwing tantrums at him real bad.

so, blah3, time for audition. blah3, i feel sucks. really. i guess the hypeness of my beat isnt there coz the volume isnt that high! hurhur. i should have had those ava dudes to have it level up. but i didnt. seriously, i felt so many butterflies in my stomach. hands were all shaky. fucks! well, cant be blame. it's been rather long since i last performed. ahaks. and i still dont know how well we did just now. ika told me it was great but still, im not convinced. right...

hmm. i hope we'll make it a blast somehow the next time round. the guy-in-charge anyway asked us to write about what i should actually write about for which, i do think of writing what he want us to write about. so its cool. i guess we'll be doing alright. really. i want to get thru this shit. dont mind bout the event but it's at D'Marquee y'all!! weeee~!

and to ika, hope you win this competition.
be confident and good luck!
its all about walking down the aisle with an attitude girl...
=)

im out now.
love!

2006-09-17T23:08:00.000+08:00

na'ngviewhbvwvnajkbvnbuwbvjvczcln....
lsabflwbeowgbvelfgqlwfbuiwqgfwdjkb....
...xlaoshfuegy????!!!!
;sjdgehilhvbelvlabldbalw;jdqfpqh....
abwfqwdoiw ohwqfqowfbnocqh ihw'fidqhwfqbvvc
soagfoewqgfujkwy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
apv'hepivh?? . . . .

agaggagagagagaga....!!!
weeeeeee~!

im just bored and SLEEPY!!!
fuhhhhhhhhhhhh!
kekekekekekekeke!

aspngfeigvpenbveb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i miss you..... . . .

2006-09-09T11:03:00.000+08:00

now guess what. its been two days straight that i took this laughing gas and i totally make a fool out of myself. it's great somehow. enjoying the feeling and blah3. of course, i was high and i really couldn't get control of myself. it was kinda scary alright. i know i wasnt really myself and i got things carried away. i remembered in the bus ride home, i smiled to almost everyone within my sight and even, laughed at them. luckily i managed to only giggle about it rather then laughin out loud. then, i pointed out almost everything that i saw. ahaks. crazy2. i've inhaled so much that even i aint know how much that i consumed it. somehow, i dont encouraging this but i must say, its FUN!

agagagagagaga. ok im crazy, i know. from slashing my own arms to committin suicide, to climbing up a HDB flat up to the 11th storey then now, that stupid laughing gas. ahaks. what dangerous stuff will i do next? bring them out, bring them out. bring it on! aahahaah.

im soo not myself nowadays and i do realised that. and i aint know shit why. guess because of some thoughts i've been keeping from anyone else, except to my sis. to say, i've been thinkin alot. or maybe, it's because i've had too much stuff in mind and none of them are actually real. man, i need a break. i need a holiday. puasa is a good time. now wtf?

anyway guys, im setting a website about selling my own beats, with the help of my very own form teacher. it's under process. and i cant wait for this to happen. from there, any beats you're interested in, you may buy it. i'll update and the details more about this thingy soon.

talking about beats, well guess what! me, including my bro and shaifful, altogether we've made more than a hundred beats. no kidding. this is for real. ask those peeps who have had came down to my crib before. agagaga. that's why i've decided to sell those of my beats through website coz it's easier and much more convenient. it'll be like 15 tracks monthly.

hmm, and it's been long since Urbanize's performance. maybe this next speakeasy we'll be involving. but i aint sure yet. even if it's so, only me and shaifful will be performing on Urbanize's behalf as bro is having his major exams round the corner. we've discussed bout it and we'll see how it goes. for sure, we'll make a great comeback. i promise. . .

sorry for not having updated for some time. i've been fine and i've been having alotta of stuff and many of those i need to be fully committed to. like, make beats for some crews, this one ITE carnival that im participating, school projects, school stuff and community service. and yeah, i'll be going to Thailand for community service.

i'll be one of those who will be helping out those less fortunate ones and even, build a classroom for this one school for which, they don't even know how to recite ABC and 123. how pity can they get. for us, we even know the simplest addition and subtraction when they only stuff like traditional dance and sing alongs. and now if you do complaint about how hot the weather is or even, how pathetic it seems to have had the same dishes over and over again at home, think about those who doesn't even have a choice. especially those people in Africa who are still suffering now. seriously, how i wish for people like them to have the life that we live too.

haiz. now i missed a friend of mine. matter of fact, my first bestfriend. he was a fine and healthy young dude until one unfortunate day, he became disabled and well, he died during his second operation. too bad he didnt make it. i always get reminded of him when i see those people who are a wheelchair bound and those who had to have crutches to help themselves to walk. almost 12 years of friendship, he just went away just like that. i never expect for this to happen anyway. it's so sudden. i thought he'll be okay as he was responding to treatments already. haiz. shit happens huh. rest in peace, Balakishnan. you're one good guy. . .

take care everybody. treasure all those who you have around you. you'll realised that the person you dont see often, he/she is actually someone that's important to you in your life, in a way or another. and you will almost regret that you dont really know him/her that well and it'll be too late the next thing you knew it that he/she has passed on. . .

love!

2006-08-31T12:19:00.000+08:00

today, as i walked to the interchange from home to take the bus to school, i came across this playground with a group of primary school kids. well, at the sight of them, flashbacks striked to my mind about those times when i used to wear shorts and those high socks to sch. ahaks. basically, i kinda missed those times of friends whom i always played catching, capteh, challengin among ourselves to run and wrestling. yes, wrestling! i still remembered i'd knockout for sometime when azam smacked me with his file. and, me and irsyad, going around doing the 'stone cold stunner' to other 'wrestlers'. ahaks. and we played it really dangerous, i tell you. till some blood do flow out. agagagagagaga.

ok. think back, ive alot of friends. from primary school, to secondary school then now, ITE. even those from other schools and my ndp friends. whoa! and the great thing is, we're still in touch. except from those in Ping Yi primary sch. of all, im only contacted with ONE friend from that school. and she still remembers me after 7 years. it's great to have someone that you familiar with and that particular person do recognised you too. and i thank god for that. but, lately, to my dismay, it seems like my long lost friends dont even recognised me. like, they give you one look and they said they know you when they're not. haiz. friends. . .

and, i must say, most of times, im always caught in the middle when it comes to a part that two or more situations comes in together at the same time. and i hate that. and i always wished that i could have a clone of myself. so that i could do many things at one time. or, that super duper agility power that clark kent have so that i could do everything at super speed. how cool it'll be. ok, maybe i watched too much of cartoons till im soo engrossed with them. =)

another thing, i missed someone that i myself never expect it to be. ahaks. guess that person means quite alot to me, even though that person is rather new into my life. hmmm. . .

today in school, werent really much to do. i came to school rather early and we only did our Multimedia Fundamentals and Digital Imaging. and after that, instead of having another 5 hours of the mentioned module, we gotta head down to the auditorium for this talk. it's borin alright. but thank to this that i only have a 'half day' for school. im like in no mood for school today. and i do realised that im lacking of discipline in punctuality. even my attendance. and almost every 'early' morning i will have that one of a kind look from mashita coz she always the one who wake up call for me and ended up, im still late as i always dragggg. hurhur.

anyway, tommorow, every school will be celebrating teachers day. and, for sure i'll be going down to my old school. and im expecting many people. especially HERNIE. serious sia, you better come! and blah3, after all that, i'll be heading down to Marina Square to have a feast at SEOUL GARDEN!! weeee~! im sooo looking forward for this. will be celebrating teachers' day with my fellow ITE mates and of course, Mr. Wong. im so thankful i have a teacher like him. and i never ever been rebellious to him, when i used to have in secondary. and to my surprise, i never talk back to him or even hates him. rather, i respect him more and ive never taken things for granted. the same goes to my other module teachers. ahaks.

guess im out now. i got some beats to do for some crews.
and yea, to anybody who's interested in writing their own songs but aint have those beats, you can email me up. im having a production. producing beats that is. =)
These How We Do It~

and to Joakim, dig your ears and hear yourself la...
some people ought to do something bout this. . .

to arfah, get well soon and i'll pray for a speedy recovery for you, which i have been prayin for many nights. heed those advice from the doc and ME and your friends seriously. and, health is the most important in life, more than anything else. rmbr that...

love!

i miss you..... . . . . . . . .

2006-08-28T14:59:00.000+08:00

ok. so i got back from a camp for 3D2N, since friday. hell it was fun, altho there's some beef goin on around. when that strikes me that not everyone were in one heart and rumours started bout one story and another and ppl gossipin ard, i told myself i shud do smtg bout it. and i did. if i wudnt, i wonder up until when must dis be prolong... ? so, i made my move to have had everybody gather ard and have their say bout any misunderstandings and thank god it went well. altho there's some firm acts. but it was reasonable alright. i was happy that at least everybody made it clear. and i just hope there aint gona be another beef happenin ard among us...

anw, ystdy got speakeasy and I DIDNT GO FOR IT! great. but well, at least i got some updates rather dat im nt. i missed seein those ppl in local scene coz its been rather long since i went to gigs. and i missed performin. after my bro done with his N lvl, i promised Urbanize will make a comeback. . .

ok. im so freakin tired and slpy. hadnt really much slp thruout the stay. think back, for the two nights, i only slpt for 5hours altogether. this mornin i got some slp for like 3hrs. so, aint much for bein a survivor coz hidayat didnt slp almost every hour. crazy. furthermore, after all dis exhaustion, how it wud be nice to get home and get urself wash up and proceed to your bed and have ur most desirable slp. but unfortunately, i didnt get dat. i had to come back home and get ready again to go out to my aunt's crib for kenduri arwah. blah3, i ate for like 3 plates of rice as i was damn famished. den, blah3, time to go home. as i got home, den i washed up and now here i m and i'll be goin off to lalaland now!

tata.
=)

2006-08-21T14:58:00.000+08:00

i hate this kind of feeling where you think that it's all fine and good but actually its not and its something that got to do with you. and that, you dont know how to do anything about it. you wanna face it and get it done and over with but the thing is, you just cant. suck it is but well, i know i suck.

so, yesterday, had this appreciation dinner for all of the motivators. indeed, it was rather sad. we had fun bout the games and stuff. and we got to dress hidayat up into a retro guy which turns out to be like elvis. ahahahahahaha. he like some sort like a gay boy sia. like dressin up all good to work at Changi village. ahahahha. k. im mean. sry bro but i cant help it!

so, those games were rather lame but kinda fun tho. at least it managed to pull off some hilarious moments. ahaks. and after all that, i had something for my cluster. i made this presentation - which took me like nearly 4 hours - for them for which consists of those moments of us when we're in our trainings and blah3. but on behalf of afiz and man, we're glad that it touched your hearts guys. razman were rather sad when he was doin his part of the presentation all alone that time.

so yesterday, it was the last moments we all motivators as one can ever be havin anymore. the journey has ended. and i just hope that we'll never lost in touch.

it just kinda funny when you think back bout it, in just a short period of time, you feel like you're in a circle of new friends that seems like you're close to them since childhood. and within that period that the bonds were so tight until you dont feel like lettin go the fact that we aint gonna be seein each other that much now, saturdays aint gonna be the same anymore and all. now that sucks.

and oh oh. i think my left arm is broken. great. i cant really bend it. coz if i do, it hurts real bad like thousands of red ants bitin ya. woohoo! the doc said its dislocated and blah3, but i think its more den that coz it seems like swellin more and more everyday. weeee~! dont ask me wad happen. it's just due to another stupid acts of mine. it was plain dumbness indeed. fad fad. . .

now im startin to think, what happen if im permanently disabled? gosh. i musnt think too much. future gona ruin of course but well, if this wad my destiny is, i cant deny it still. . . pray for my recovery. i need it. coz i need my arm for my daily routine. haiyaaaaa. . .

~first it was my right ankle, then my left. and now my arm. so what's next? cant life get any mean to me? just my luck. . . . ... rite.

2006-08-14T14:57:00.000+08:00

National Day, its like four days ago. and like, im still in nowhere to be movin on. been picturin of those times since we all just got together and stuff until now that we have been so close. so close that almost everybody knew each other's secrets and even also, on Natioanl Day itself, almost everybody cried their heart out. and i still cant believe hidayat would cry too. after ndp thing, we all had our last moments at the field, along with some other motivators and participants. we danced and stuff, havin lots of fun. blah3, we headed down to the plc whr we always be seated at when we'll be waitin for our respective buses.

while waitin, my mentor, lim de, asked us to go to the front and have our last say or anything you would like to confess/say/tell to the rest. mashita went up first. next thing i knew, tears rollin down my cheeks. i cant hold it anymore. and i feel rather touched wen afiz started to say out bout the dream he had. fuckin hell. sedih sia. smtg got to do with me. and i cant believe dat it such a coincidence. blah3, i was the last person to say my final say to everyone. and so we hugged and all and everybody is cryin. sial ar. nadia and shita is like so teruk. den blah3, our bus came.

in the bus, everyone was still cryin. haiz. sedih2. den wen we have arrived at bishan - our drop-off point -, everyone decided to eat. while waitin for the others to plc their orders, i suddenly feel like smokin. and i did. so i went outside and smoke. ive no appetite den. i was alone and i was still cryin. den, razman suddenly came. sat beside me and he consoled me and he's still cryin too. blah3, afiz joined us. den suddenly, everyone came. ended up nobody eatin. and so there were silence for almost an hour, only to hear the cricket sound. den, i broke the silence sayin smtg bout us and the full moon. such a coincidence for full moon on National Day. nadia went cryin again. and den blah3, we all pumped up our balloons and hold it to the air. we let it go and that marks our togetherness despite how far we are. great moments there was.

as i got home, i cant really slp. been thinkin bout everything happened on that day. its like things happenin so fast. and i dun think it'll be any sooner im movin on. its like it happened juz yesterday. haiz. Estonia was the name of our cluster. and never thought i would mit great ppl. never been a borin day for me when im ard them. haiz. im gonna miss all those fun, those sarcasm, those laughter, those jokes, those teasin and those crapness. im gonna miss the 'fad and elmo' show thingy. ahaks. haiz.... gerek ar korang. thx for the frenship. and to all my mentors, thx for everything. the love, support, concern and moments. thx.

ESTONIA!

anw, yesterday, it was Sweef's performance. yea so i did came down and support. and so did my fam and some of my relatives too. they were pretty good. not dat im sayin it was dat bad but cmon, at least they managed to cover up frm makin it too obvious that they choked. many ppl did turned up for the event. but i must say dis, the crowd SUCKS BIG TIME!!! they aint showin any love to the scene. muthafuckin bias jerks and bitches. they came down becoz of their frens. wtf? you're in the scene and there's no love? typical malays. im so against dis. im gonna be dissin everyone anytime soon if no changes made. haiz. ok chill. im aite.

i noticed dat im at times such an emo shit motherfucker. ahaks. rite. anw, i think im likin fireworks very much nw. and i have to say, i've always find my life is such a bore. but, until i met those ppl in my cluster, ive never been so happy. but at the same time, how i wished spendin those moments with someone special. and seriously, they're the ones who's been fillin my life more full of colours. and of coz my old circles of frens too. and i swear i never shed bucket of tears for so long before. hmm. . . emo shit motherfucker. ahaks!

before i end dis entry,
to SHARIFAH FARHANAH,
HAPPY BELATED 17th BIRTHDAY!!!
never have i ever forget your birthday. =)

and to my dearest SHARIFAH MUAFAH BINTE MUSTAFA,
Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday to FAFAFAFA!!!
Happy 17th Birthday to YOU.........................!!!
may wad you've wished for, came true one fine day. . .
weee~!

birthdays... i cant wait for my 18th. juz a few more mths now. weee~!
riteee.....

i still feel like crap. argh. . .

2006-08-09T20:13:00.000+08:00

National Day, here i come!
oh i soo cant wait for this.
and i swear i'll cry too if i see someone havin tears later on since this is the big day already.
shits. this is it.
how i hope it'll not end.
how i wish this to go on and on.
too bad it can only turn out to be fond memories.
im soo gonna miss all the fun, the people, my mentors. . .

ESTONIA! ESTONIA!
forever will you still be remembered...

. . . . . . . . .

i swear that im not okay...
*this is IT guys . . . . .

To everyone, every Singaporean,
wish you a Happy National Day! ! !
=')

2006-08-07T14:59:00.000+08:00

the first few photos were from Ria... =)
the plc inside were so awesome. we were all so excited and nervous when otw to mediacorp. hell yeah we had fun. got it on video bout our journey to mediacorp and the whole radio thing until we go our separate ways. cool it is. and to afiz and shita, yesahh. korang col. paiseh sak aku kat dlm studio. ahaks! to everyone - my fam, my ite frens, my ndp frens, my wrss frens, my wrps frens, and peeps in wgs and in simei ite frens, thx for tunin in ya. thx for the support. i knw its like late to say bout all of dis. but, screw you... =P

so ystdy, went out with the usual ndp suspects. pix uploaded aft 'mediacorp radio'. =)
crazy it was. went to changi hosp to visit aindil's mum again before headin off to esplande to witness fireworks from italy. met up with mizah at city hall and den off we go. ended up watchin those fireworks with only mizah instead of bein with the rest. coz, initially, they headed off ferz since ive to wait for mizah. we got separated den. and we met up again after the fireworks ended. great. even tho i missed the fun watchin with the usual ppl, at least someone is dere with me to witness those fireworks. =)

the intro of the fireworks were awesome with the three colours - green, white and red - the colour of the italy flag colour. den the finale, as always, fuyooh! hurhur. so happy.and! i saw ela dere! luckily she saw me coz of my superman cap. weee~! nice to c u beb! =D blah3, we head off to clarke quay for some photo takin session and our crapness. ahaks. den blah3, headed home. and guess wad,once im home, i washed my feet and change into home clothes and i straight went to slp. ahaks! and wen i woke up, i dun rmbr slpg in my room. rite....

nice outin ppl.
i had fun. did you?

2006-08-01T04:39:00.000+08:00

so its been quite sometime. hello boppers. well basically, been lazy to update. been busy with ndp stuff since ndp is drawin near and of coz, school. =)

so, last sat, it was the ndp preview. hell it was fun. and guess wad! me and some of my clustermates are in the ndp booklet! haha. ela is dere too! haha. meanie ela. . . so, blah3, its quite mendak ar at my sector. with only ika i prefer to enjoy the show with. rite. zul is kinda belo to layan and like murugan, he's quite far from my allocated plc. ok, im mean. den dat colin is sooooo far from my position. baik ar. so me and ika did our plan. but, still, we arent really sure dat we're 'safe' to be out of our sector. riteee. pantat sia. and our mentor did saw us at the spectators area. haiyaa...

last friday, went out with hammy! so, it our first time goin out together. yup yup. went to catch pirates of the caribbean. it was hilarious indeed. and in the theatre, its freakin cold eh. before we went for this show, its like, we actuali supposed to watch the 3pm show instead of the 5.20pm one. well its becoz, i was late and mizah, im sry!!! fadhli is always late. =/ i treat you drink plak, or even makan, the next time we're goin out again. had a great time. and we were indeed kinda belo sia that day bout our frens. at first it was you, den me. haahaha! rite. we'll mit ard sunset one day. . . =)

im in sch now and im bored. have to do dis cisco thing, which, its the new module for this term. pantat sia. not even one thing i undastan sia. haish.

after dis, me, mashita and yat will be seein elmo, man, nana jurong, nana kechik, shikin and sape2 lagi to go to changi hosp. aindil's mum was warded. i'll pray for her rocovery dude. dont worry too much man. juz pray for the better. put your head up. have faith. =)

anw, ppl, tune in to Ria 89.7 FM tonight at 10pm. Urbanize will be featured with Fiza O! one of our songs will be playin. im excited but im soooo freakin nervous coz the fact that in times like interviewin, i'll always stumble. rite. i'll be looklin forward for who will be callin us tonight for some qtns. rmbr ya, 10pm!!!!!!! ish...
mizah... TONIGHT!!! TONIGHT!!!

love!

2006-07-27T00:10:00.000+08:00

vwerpbneriugzxvagnmqo[egji
vnwihweohgwpo vnhqebo
svguhepinbpnbwnmsd.bk...........

im bored.

2006-07-21T14:59:00.000+08:00

these few days has been such alot of memories and wonders. well, im enjoyin in wadever im doin ard. its like, everyday is a fun-fun day. ystdy, went out with the balestier peeps again. and i realised i came down early like 15mins earlier than the time we're suppose to mit. im usually not punctual. you can say im weird. so, mit up at 3pm, which is the mitin time, but wif juz soufie, nana and nadia. den we waited for the rest for like until 4. baik ar. janji melayu. chilled at starbucks for sometime and we treated that plc like as if we owned it. haha. blah3, we proceed to marina square to play pool!

its been long sia since i played it. blah3, more peeps joined us ard 6pm when we're havin the game. spent for like nearly 3hrs dere and the total price was like, 49 bucks. wtf. den blah3, we went to eat at the foodcourt dere. and i finally get to eat my black pepper chicken bake rice again. fuyooh. we took alotta pix and full of craps ard. and that time was like when i realised there's more girls den guys. rite. total peeps was like 14 and only 5, includin me, were guys. haha. crazy.

blah3, we went to suntec instead of esplanade to chill. we went to the sky garden and like bnyk sia couple2 sedang berasmara. haha. blah3, we chill and joke ard. pix here and dere and we did this slow dance thing with that Titanic song. hahahaa. funny sia. we boys took like a 'band cover' pic and like crazy sia coz we stood at this boulder which like it's partially submerged in the water. its actuali a fountain. haha. giler2.

blah3, we took the last train home. i got home like ard 12.45. mum start naggin. there she goes sayin why i didnt call home to say i'll be back late despite that ive told her i'll be back late before i went out. rite.

so i had a good day ystdy and i cant wait to mit them again on this sat for ndp. haha. and talkin bout ndp, last sat was the pri5 national day thing. cool ar sak. they all looked so small and cute. haha. and i actuali saw some of my pri teachers too like mdm zawiyah, miss tan bee geck and this orange house teacher. i forgot her name. but, she still recognised me! a total surprise it is. den, that day, it's the first day of lettin out the medium level of fireworks. cool ar. i kept jumpin ard like a one crazy monkey. that point of time, i rmbr that i promised hernie to bring her with me to watch fireworks for last year's ndp. coz in 2004, i was out with my frens, watchin the fireworks in that year of ndp, enjoyin myself and she was at home, livin wif boredom. well anw, i dont think she rmbr bout dis anw.

so, monday sch re-open for ite students. cant wait to mit the usual suspects! i miss my comp dere in the lab too. ok. im bored now and i duno wad to write anymore. last but not least, i'll post the photos bout ystdy's outin soon. and mizah, you tell me when you're really free den i'll make myself free. =)
ok. tc boppers...

2006-07-14T14:59:00.000+08:00

=)
hello.

ok. more colours is addin to my life each and everyday. and i realised, treasurin most of your times together with your loved frens, even with those who you're nt likely to be with them, sure even more than juz worth it you'll find at the end of the day. ystdy, went out with the balestier peeps. and yea, had a rockin outin and endless fun right from the start. afiz and me always bein sarcastic with nadia all the time and soon, to everyone. haha. funny it is. actuali, i wanna go check it out some recordin equipments stuff and al. we did, but only for a while. blah3, ended up at the new Cathay near ymca there. watched re-cycle and its not encourageble to watch. dun watch. merepek. serious.

den blah3, we go makan at Marina Square and then off to esplanade to chill. we talked among ourselves and like how we got to know with each other, who's our crush at first sight, some lame jokes, blah3. haha. spent a one damn great moment sia. and so we chilled until we realised the time was 11.30pm. we managed to catch the last train. den blah3, thania got down with me coz she's stayin at tampines and from my bus stop have a bus which last until 12.45am. and so, i teman her until the bus arrived. den blah3, i got home nearly 1am. haha. lambat sia.

and when got home, we all conference call. gerek sia! chat3 until nearly 7am dis morning. haha. madness. funny sia. and while conferencin, i got my room SUPER CLEAN ok! haha. thx to them havin me kept awake. bllah3, slp. and when i woke up, it was 5.46pm. haha. lambat siol. den i went out to potong pasir to mit with a fren of mine in ite bishan. lepak3, den went home. got home, i took a glimpse of my room again to see whether my bro mess it up or not as he has returned from sch. luckily takde. klu tak, i'll be a naggin mum. haha. den blah3, i juz chill ard the crib and kay bye..

2006-07-07T05:44:00.000+08:00

so in a while later, my crewmate will be cumin to my crib. yes, shaifful. well, its been quite sometime since he's here. haha. suddenly called me last night and asked whether cud he come. of coz dude. haha. so, we'll be havin some session later on. its quite unusual though but heck.

well, this few days has been a hell of a ride. been to chalet, ndp trainin, bbq pits and stuff. been havin a great time. sometimes, in times like this, you juz wish someone is dere with you who you cud share your joy with. haha. yes, i missin someone. and how i hope i cud bump into her somehow one day if i were to be in wlds...

im sorry for my absence. been rather lazy to update nowadays. tot of closin dis blog oredi but well, think of it, this is somehow one way to occupy my time when ive ntg else to do.

so, anw, tmw i'll be goin to esplanade to watch this play in the theatre. ok, it'll be my first time bein in the indoor theatre. haha. how excited i m. and mitin the usual suspects in ite. and talkin bout anxiety, cant wait sia for ndp rehearsal dis sat. we'll be provided with some stuff which im not sure wat it is and the 'fun pack' will be distributed! weeeee~

anw, the play tmw is a musical play bout racial harmony or whatnot. aint sure bout it but hey, i do like watchin plays ok. sketch, plays, arts stuff... i do like all these. i know im not seem like those ppl who into these arts stuff and all. haha.

anw, to HAZWAN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE! haha. so you're turnin 10 now. dun start to be rebellious ar. dgr kate makbapak. haha. may wat you've wished for, came true one fine day.

guess im out. love!

2006-06-28T16:19:00.000+08:00

ok. i sorta juz got back from dis media brief again juz now at Nan Hua High School. bout an hour ago. gerek ar beb. haha. and well, there this one girl i noticed really look like hernie sia. freakin hell. for a moment, i really tot she's in dis ndp thingy. pantat betol. i kept tellin myself, eh biar benar sak, eh biar benar sak...

alahai...

well, honestly, i do missed her ok. its been long sia. alahai....

hmm.. so, anw, the big day for these media brief rehearsal ive been to is TMW!! or shud i say, later on... kiwakzz.... i gotta be at clementi mrt ard 7.15am. gotta be dere by 9am coz since there aint gona be breakfast provided, we're plannin to have it at Mc'D. the chartered bus will be leavin ard 8.15am. so yea, chop2. confirm aku lambat sak. ive never been punctual. haha.

oh yea, khairul anuar from anugerah suria was dere juz now. and well, of coz, girls go gaga over him. wth. its quite a nuisance sometimes. im not sayin its wrong but like, cmon la.... if you know wat i mean. hahhahah.

so, blah3, took the bus back to clementi and off im home now and i still haven slp. still got the cheek to be chattin instead of slpg and maybe playin maple and kay bye....

2006-06-26T19:38:00.000+08:00

yup yup...
yea yea...
yes yes...

fadhli's entry in the makin again. well, my comp been infected by that trojan virus and hell, reboot is the only way. comp wasnt that well functionin after doin it so. until sis did smtg to it. thx to her everything is now ok. only dat, those pics i took, music/softwares/games ive downloaded, notepads i wrote my lyrics on, all are gone now. haiz. so ive to start from scratch. damn its a waste but i had no choice. and due to this that caused the delay of me updatin and being online in msn. but hey, comp's ok now!!! and, i wanna download maplestory again but i forgot how sia... Kiiiitty or GreenVibes!!! i need help...!!!

so, a new template for a new change. bright it is but i aint sure myself whether i like it. rite.

ok. for the past few days, didnt really had that much of fun in life. until recently, went for this media brief at Nan Hua High School for where myself and those who was selected has to represent for all those motivators for this ndp this year and performed a sneak preview of how national day will be like. but that, it was only a rehearsal. fun it is. that Vincent Ng that acted the drama 'Heartlanders' was there too. and he's small. im taller than him. blah3, when almost goin back, had a fight in cheerin with the choir ppl of who's the loudest. haha. total madness and chaos ard. the actual day will be on the 29th July i think. that's when all the press, reporters and some ministers will be comin. and we, the motivators, have to make balloon-structurin for them. and dance for like a pathetic 1 and a half mins. but still, fun la.... and confirm come out in the newspaper and tv. alahai....

blah3, last sat, went for ndp trainin. the beginnin part of the event was borin i must say. until sunset, the fun begins! we dance, we cheer, and freaks... we thought the item when the fighter jets were to be out werent really gona be flyin up in the sky but hell it did! haha. and yea, finally i get to at least talk to this girl named fartika. unfortunately, i was being apart from those ite balestier boys coz i was assigned to be in the VIP sector. the red sector it is. but thank goodness, fartika in the same sector as mine! and her position is next to mine. haha. at least got a friend. thank god. took pix here and there ourselves, and cameramen ard, too, took pix of us dancin and all. and kiwak, they say those pix they took will be out in the ndp magazine and some for the newspapers. kecoh kecoh...

and so, we watch the pre-parade of ndp. everything was like... fuuuyoooh! the only thing missing was dat... no fireworks! yekeleh. den blah3, set off from the stadium and wait outside for our respective bus to our drop off point. again, took pix and all. haha. gerek ar. cant wait for the next rehearsal sia. was told there will be fireworks! heh. now i cant wait to meet them and have fun again. haha. balestier and macpherson = best madpersons!!! these the only one of the few things dat adds colour to my life. alahai... gerek larh sak......

anw arfah, i know its like late but, here goes ntg...

7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME
- im easy to forget things even a while ago and no kiddin
- ill get blur most of times and im not pretendin
- i juz love eatin plain bread... always have a packet in my room =P
- i've climb up a buildin till 11 storey high, no string attached
- im a camel... really drink alot... trust me...
- always wished if only i had special powers.. haha!
- always picturin her everywhere i'd go, always... everytime...

7 THINGS THAT SCARE ME
- sudden surprises
- freakin gore stuff
- no internet of coz!
- if anyone important were to go away
- hearin stuffs dat no other ppl hear
- exams
- results

7 RANDOM MUSIC AT THE MOMENT
- Tiger Lily; Matchbook Romance
- Kali Terakhir; Albert (local)
- Get Crunk Shorty; Nick Cannon
- Pudar; Rossa
- Hope; Mandy Moore
- Dancin In The Moonlight; ermmm i forgot who.. =P
- Where'd You Go; Fort Minor

7 THINGS/PEOPLE I LIKE THE MOST
- ITE Balestier peeps
- maple!
- trainings for ndp
- that freakin bag
- fruityloops
- her
- the 11 homies!!!!!!! i miss you guys sia

7 THINGS I SAY THE MOST
- alahai
- amcm ni..? amcm?
- yekeleh~
- kiwak
- wth
- awww damn
- eh... eh... eh....

7 PEOPLE TO DO THIS
- you
- him
- her
- them
- they
- anyone
- anybody

=)

so well, its 4.34am and im still in nowhere to be slpy somehow. maybe coz its been long since im with the internet. haha. and anw, World Cup, im with Brazil. and im sure they'll win again! go Brazil go! last match versus with Japan... its 4-1 ok! no doubts they'll be in the final. wonder which country they'll be fightin with......

anw, hols is drawin near for ite students and i juz cant wait to goyang kaki! wahaha. to JC, Poly and Sec students, happy bersekolah!!! haha. skola kepe.... amcm ni...? amcm? wahahaha..

=P

i miss my adek angkat somehow.

love!

2006-06-12T15:40:00.000+08:00

ive realised dat sometimes i do things dat i dont even realised im doin it. ive realised dat ive got much more easily to be forgotten of things dat happens even juz a while ago. is my neurological auditory disorder has really affected my memory? damndamn. i shudnt think dat way. ok. maybe it is. coz sometimes i dun even know why im doin things dat ive done it. rite. ive been gettin all blur and puzzled everyday and its irritatin eh.

cibai~

ok. its been rather long since i update, i know. =)
well anw, ive always been rottin if im ever home. besides mapling ar. is dere any interestin things you can do at home? i doubt so.

last friday, went to escape theme park with zaimi, yat and huda. okok, ive lied to my folks dat i went to sch. and i must say, there has ntg dat is 'fun' anymore at the theme park. its all so bored now. went dere coz we juz wanted to kill our 'boredom', to kill some time and coz we had some free coupons. so use it instead of not to.

den last sat, went for the ndp trainin. it all went good but the scorchin heat from the sun is so unbearable. thankfully dat it rained after some time. took alotta pix with the other peeps. those frens from ite balestier ive make is all fun ppl sia. never been a borin day when im with them. haha. cool ppl, awesome day. many things happened sia there. and like, its our first trainin at the Kallang Stadium. cool sia. its been sooooo fuckin long since ive stepped into dat stadium ok. the last was like, when i was 8yrs old. damndamn. haha!

ok. read up mizah's entry juz now and realised dat she been gettin all sick nowadays. dats crazy. gettin headaches every each time you woke up from your slp and feeling feverish everytime. dats nt good. have your medicine regularly k. dats important. and, nice to chat with you again. its been rather long. get well soon. will pray for your recovery here. =)

kk. guess dats all i have got to say now. but i seriously feel like writin more but i duno wat to write about anymore. yekeleh~

love!

earshot.

2006-06-05T13:14:00.000+08:00

ok. so i didnt go for camp. rite. i feel bad somehow. hah. one of the reasons i went for my performance instead for the camp is bcoz of i cud c someone dere.... heh. and that person came. were glad......

and so, ystdy's performance at Speakeasy-Earshot, the Arts House, it was ok and all. everything went well and the only thing dat got me pissed is that my fam and some of the usual peeps lambat dtg. haiya. let alone rusydiah and arfah. haha. but luckily they managed to watch it. haiz. lambat setapak.

so, everybody loves our new song. freshbloodz was in the house and fucks, he bounce to our beat. the same goes to Aiman, public eyez. haha. he kept lookin at the nizam's and smilin. he admired us ok. like he said, we're the next big and hype thing. haha. rite. but cmon, we're juz the same as the others...

the launch of our new song was aite and thk god it went well. freaking hell. had a fun time at the stage with dat freaky z. and he juz damn hilarious. as usual. haha.

on behalf of my crew, i wud like to say thanks to all the peeps dat came and support. haha. preciate it. and thx nina..... for lettin me wait and luckily i wasnt dat late. heh..

anw, have i mention dat we've got one of our song recorded? well, it'll be out soon. a compilation of Beats Society artiste. the name of the album is 'HumblePie'. dun ask me why humble pie. i aint know shit myself. haha. the cd featurin the top 5 of platform 6, public eyez, sleeq, richard, rauzan and many more. do check it out and buy!!!haha. updates will be notified, no worries...

=)

love!
*BrandNewFeelinG Studio...

big thanks to rauzan....

2006-05-30T12:36:00.000+08:00

ok. check dis out.

dis cumin 3rd of June, Urbanize will be performin and ive forgotten all about it. and now, im all anxious. duno wat song to bring. damndamndamn. fucksfucksfucks. sial ar. we need a minimum of 3 songs and we sorta have only 2 songs dats 'ready'. there's alot actuali. but, we're only confident on dis two tracks of our own. damndamn. ok. the details..... the TOP 5 -Akeem, The House of Anonymous, Crazie Starr, Farhan and Urbanize will be performin. its the top 5 special. damndamn. the venue is at Earshot, the old parliament house which is called the Arts House now. event startin at 6.30pm and space is limited. do come early.

how to go?
get down at city hall, go out of the ticketin machine and turn to your left. walk out. then make a left turn again. go straight until you're at the traffic junction. go staright again. all the way to another junction, before crossin, turn left. walk straight down and you'll see the old parliament house on your right. take the pedestrian traffic light and turn left. walk2 abit, then turn right and you'll see an entrance. if you lost, ask someone dere whr's the earshot. he/she will confirm guide you to the plc. if this complicated to you, screw you. haha. hail a cab and tell the driver to take you to the Old Parliament Lane. its near the High Court dere la. for more info, go here..

www.beats-society.com

go to the home. see the flyers.

and yea, if y'all wanna check out some photos taken durin platform 6, go to the gallery link. no worries, Urbanize is in the photo album. hahaaaaa.....

damndamn. i got creeps all up to my sleeves. damndamn im nervous. damndamn im sooo anxious. haiyoyoyo...

and anw, freakin hell... 3rd june is on saturday and on dat particular day, i got camp!!!!!!!! that ndp camp! pantat la. i wanna go coz confirm fun. but sial ar... clash seh............

if i never go for the performance, many ppl will be disappointed and down.
if i never go camp, i miss my once in a lifetime experience. wtfwtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH! YEKELEH BIG TIME SIA..............................

siol ar. can i go both? i need to ask permission to my instructor first. damndamndamn.

suggestions anyone? i need help here............

haiya. and anw, WAN, it was nice to see you again bro..... aku pao kat NATALIE baru tahu..... wahahaha. lek ar. bleh bual pe...........

Check out Sleeq at 10pm tonight at RIA 89.7FM. a veryvery cool and awesome shit song will gona be played...
and yea, SOOONNN! Urbanize will be on the radio too! haha. will have you guys updated.

love!

i did freaked out.

2006-05-25T15:10:00.000+08:00

ok. ystdy i went down to wlds and ended up lepak-ing with my old primary sch fren, naziha. seri was dere too. we three like some lost kids, juz walkin ard everywhere aimlessly. simply coz we juz duno wat to do. haha. but had fun la. blah3, seri den went home and so left me and naz.

we sat down at this rc and talk about our life and stuff. blah3, there's dis old man, roller-skatin ard the neighbourhood. until some time, suddenly he went up to us and start to have a chat. blah3, i kinda freaked out when he said bout my character/my 'doings' juz by lookin at my face sia. den, he wanted to read my palm. and FUCKS! i freaked out like hell but i didnt show it to him coz everything, every words he spoke was fuckin damn true ok. damn he's so good. and yea, he said im a rare kind of a person. and he knows my blood type and he said like he ever knew dat i wished to travel and stuff. he knows i like to help other ppl and said dat if problems were to arise, i can always solve them. and, he knew what's my age is juz by checkin out my pulse. fucks. he's great sia. and he knows bout my love life too. damn. he said he's a physician. but i sensed he's more than juz dat. his name is John. and ppl ard the estate seems pretty familiar with him. made frens together. and yea, will mit him anytime sooner again...

so dat was the major thing happened ystdy. damn its freaky. aint it? i bet so. you guys shud mit him too. and thanks to him, ive learnt many things bout myself and facts in life. hah.

today in sch was so STRESSING! got a project to do and hell, today is the longest day i had and the latest time i left sch. damndamn. i was so stressed until i was so crazy in class. makin all the stupid noise and stuff. haha. i realised the clock shows 7.10pm when im done doin the parts dat we have to do for the day. haha. madness, i know.

anw, i went to wan's blog dis mrng and i read his entry of 21st may, which is 4 days ago. and damn, he wrote all about wat he has gone thru seh in his punk rawk life. damn, flashbacks all start to run thru my mind. those times..... haiz. memories.... memories......... he's my old best buddy ever. the guy dat once told me dat im a natural emo-punkrocker bcoz of the way i dressed in sch way back in 2003. and those time we struggle to find a drummer of our own in our band. hah.................. im gonna be emo............... ahaks~

ok la. i think i'll end here. there's more but....... simply juz becoz im lazy oredi. wahahahaha.

till den, take care ya!
-wan, you know me too well...

2006-05-22T09:28:00.000+08:00

its been a while. well, sorry for my absence. truthfully, i dont know why but im kinda lazy to update nowadays unless someone will like asked me or even scold me to update it. haha. kk. sorry la.

ok. last friday, didnt go to sch coz no lesson. so went out to wlds and mit up my old cliquez. everybody was shocked, as usual, dat i came. haha. intended to surprise them and well, succeed! heh. ok. den went to masjid al-syafa'ah at smbwg for friday prayers with yzd, riffy and freak. blah3, me and yzd actuali planned to watch MI:3 but fucks, the show was 7.15pm. we came dere like 2.40pm. haha. mls nak tunggu. den, i wanna watch 'over the hedge' since MI:3 is impossible. yzd like 'cerewet'. so we ended up watchin ntg and lepak at cwp carpark with him seein me fags and crap stuff. haha. its kinda great ar. but like, i wanna watch a movie! the last was like Harry potter siaaaaa. dat is like.........ermm, November last year? haha... damn....

kk. den blah3, went to riffy's crib again coz i dun wanna go home yet. so we juz chilled at the crib and oso me seein him preparin his stuff for his performance later on. chill3, blah3, den i went home. get change and all and i went out again, to wlds once again. went to the gig at WRL basement. so when i reached, Rikurshay Souls was juz ended their performance. damn i miss their thing. they never did miss our's. haiz. i feel so bad. managed to apologise to him tho. im the type of guy dat often got probs in punctuality you see. haha.

k. blah3, the whole gig was ok. kinda great. freaky z was, as always, funny to the max of the maximum level. hah. k im crappin. but yea, it was fun. and yea, it aite arfah bout you aint cumin down to the gig. im sorry too bout the fact that my mum actuali wanna go to sheng shiong. haha. im sorry.

ok. ystdy, the ndp trainin, was FUN ok. haha. lame ar but ok. fun ar. somehow. we learnt how to dance. lame moves i tell you. haha. and so next week, i suppose we'll be havin our trainin at the stadium plak. how eager i m to experience all these stuff. and yea! i'll be away for a one-night camp in ite simei which applies for all the leaders in their respective grps, includin the assistant leaders too. im an assistant leader for my grp. heh. our mentors said we'll never get to slp for which, we'll have a super fun in the early mornin. they said they'll guranteed we will never regret cumin to this so-called 'camp'. haha. taunt lagi... the malay leaders and assistants were all excited bout dis coz its like normal stuff for us, bein awake till next mornin. the chinese were like, 'huh?? really ar?' haha. alah. im sure they never experience it b4. makan babi je tahu... wahahaha....

im not bias...

ok. today never go out sia.... and im so freakin bored. wtf.............................
tot of meetin rozaimi at bedok and set off to esplanade like we always did. but den, like malas siol. haha. yekeleh! he's my best pal in ite. . . . .

*i realized it too. always... haha.

=)

2006-05-15T14:59:00.000+08:00

b4 i start my entry of the day, i wanna say.......

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!!!

to all the lovely mothers in Singapore and of course, MY ONE AND ONLY MUM!!!
even tho they'll not gonna read dis but hell, juz wanna wish them and hope they'll have a long life and good health. much of simplicity in life as they're age.

amin~

ok. well, went to Changi Airport, havin our feast of foods and desert at Swensens' with four families, includin mine, on my mum's side. one thing dat spoils most mums juz now. well, the service was rather sucky. my aunts waited like almost more than an hour for her ice-cream. it was rather long for my sis to wait havin her chicken cutlet too. damn it was frustratin. blah3, me, my kuzz and one of my aunt wrote down our feedbacks bout the service on the feedback form provided. critics all jot down. well, really, the service was suck to the max. no doubt bout dat...

den, blah3, had dinner with my dad's side plak. went to a makan plc at Boon Keng, where all my dad's siblings loved havin a meal dere in the old times. hah. and damn, one point of time, my cousins and all were like askin me and bro to perform some skits or juz spit some rhymes for all the mothers dere. paisey giler siol. hell, we juz do it. haha. had fun, despite all the sucky-ness happened today. haha.

well, im home now. and yea, sorry hamizah i wasnt present. was out with fam as you can c. promise i'll make a date to play with you again! haha. sorrysorrysorry.....

ok. im tired. gona go to lalaland!
weeeeee~!

back.

2006-05-14T11:10:00.000+08:00

okokokokok. im back writin an entry again. dere's many things to write abt. but i'll juz summarise it up.
so yea, go on to other sites if you think you'll waste your time here...

well, last thurs, had fun. haha. it was another great moments i had with my frens in wrss namely-wan, faz, sai, yzd, moon, impy, fafa, freak, riffy, khai and me. went to riffy's condo and we chilled and we swam at the pool and we play the slides, and we crap ard and we fooled ard and we had fun. haha. and yea, we watched a movie entitled, 'Dead bird'. hell its scary and gore. juz a shot at the head can have it all burst off. oh wth. violent nak mampos siol! haha. the sound effect was fuyoh! and the movie is like okok ar. the suspense is great, but the storyline quite a crap. haha. had a fun time dere in dat room, watchin that movie. jokes and all. haha. and blah3, gotta b back home and so i did. and bout an hour ltr, went dere again. by the time, the girls have all went back and afriezal.

and so we chilled at the sixth floor, the outdoor area and it was windy. it rained after a while. and we sat down at this shelter nearby and continue our stuff discussin bout makin a song for miss sulika at her weddin day. im not really part of the performance but i helped out. blah3, went back home and didnt slp thru the night. hidir was in my crib and we stayed up till 6++am. blah3, woke up in the aftern and was kinda late for friday prayers. damn. and so i proceed as planned. met up with shaifful and bro and we headed down to farrer park. got a mitin with mr.imran at his office, together with the other guys who are the top 5. blah3, we go mkn and the thosai is nice. den we all go back to his office and play ps2. haha.

blah3, went home and den went out again. to mustaffa. folks asked along. blah3, home swt home and lalaland. woke up dis mornin and was late for the ndp trainin. reached dere and we learnt balloon-sculpturin. it was fun after we all in Cluster E make the styles and pattern, we stepped onto the piles of balloons. there were girls shoutings and screamings bcoz of the burstin sounds of the balloons. it like fireworks oredi sia. hahaha. great ar. blah3, after dat, went to town and played pool. damn i won all match. haha. it was great. den, here i m, home.

ok. im done writin. tc!
~if only.......................

2006-05-08T16:13:00.000+08:00

ok. guess wat..

last three days, a girl suddenly came up to me and asked for my number. wanna make friends and stuff and was said a fan of urbanize. haha. and so, i gave her my number. didnt really talk/sms her much anw. blah3, den, for three days now, i kept on receivin msgs from people dat i duno. everytime i were to hear the `msg alert tone from my phone, it will be read 'Hi! bleh kenal2'? from an unknown number. the last was like the 8th time. oh wth. its gettin irritatin and annoyin. didnt layan all of dem den. muahaha. told them to juz talk to me when im online in msn.

geez. ive learnt not to gave my number sembarangan. juz msn. wtf sia. actuali, i dun reli like dis kinda stuff. especially those anonymous person to me dat got my number from a fren dat i know and wudnt tell me who. its so fuckin frustratin. oh well. wth.

last friday, wasnt a school day for me. in fact, for my class. coz there aint any lesson on dat day. so yea, no school on friday. actuali, every friday. so, every friday is a holiday! haha. no lesson will be carryin out on every friday. it was brought forward to thursday. weeee~

ok. anw, last sat, supposinly ive to be down to the arts hse for a meetin of Urbanize's next performance. and damn, i didnt go. well, coz the fact dat me and dad will never get any better with each other. we fought and he didnt let me out. there always fights between us. one moment we're ok and next, we're not. maybe becoz im juz not bein like him. or maybe becoz im not bein like how every dad wud expect their sons to be. but wth. sometimes i juz dun undastan him. at all. yes, i know, he's my father. and every father will always have the right point. but, some things he juz bein too unreasonable. oh well. however, im still his son. and im still tryin to undastan him...

haiz. how crap it seems our life is, we never give up carry on huh...
its either we chose to do nothing and juz let it go or do something bout it fair and square...

haha. i duno wat the crap i have been sayin.....

ok. for this past weekend, ive been rottin at home. haha. nothing else i did besides mapling. with the one and only, hamizah! haha. its fun la playin with her. at least with someone that im havin the fun. haha. really. she helped killin my boredom away seh. and now, she's a lvl ahead of me. haiz. org da tunggu dier abeh dier da naik dulu..... yekeleh! wahahaaha... thx anw...

anw, i like the sounds of music in arfah's blog ar. haha. mcm sedap gitu. alah, i like emo songs wat. haha. and yea, talkin bout her, noticed smtg new bout her. she's becomin a matlap oredi. haha. speakin chinese and stuff. well, anw, we're ok. we're still friends tho. and yea, she's with someone now. not really now. been quite a long time dey're together. his name is Cliff. yea, a chinese guy. glad they both are happy with each other. haha. . . and ive no particular intention or watsoever writin dis down. suddenly tot of the couples and tot of wishin them happiness thru hard and light times... =)

haha. anw, the workers party won sia! woohoo! im not reli into all this kinda things but its dem i've supported. im not reli sure in dis political thing either actuali. haha. maybe not juz yet. you'll never know. haha..

im bored. and.... im bored. cant wait for sch again. haha. its 1am now. 7hrs to go till my ferz lesson of the day starts. haha.

oh yea. before i forget.
Urbanize next performance is on dis 27th May @ YouthPark. time? im not sure myself but will have you guys updated. yeayea. who else performin? the top 5 of platform 6 and ..... ntah. dats all i know. haha. will let you guys know the full details again...

ok la..
till den, take care ya...

2006-05-04T13:34:00.000+08:00

yeayea....

im writin an entry again...

dere aint antg to talk about today anw actuali. however, had fun in sch. didnt reli had any lesson coz the teacher told us to do juz our thing in class. we're more advanced from schedule dats why. she let us have the whole room for us. haha. came late today for sch. reached bout 2++ in the aftern for which class actuali starts at 12. haha. stomach probs. dammit. i think i have diarrhoea.

ok blah3, went home kinda early coz i need the home toilet . cmon, toilets at home are much more desirable. haha!

okok. anw,
ive noticed smtg.

On Thursday, May 4th, 2006 @ 2mins n 3secs, 1:00AM,
the time will read..

01:02:03, 04/05/06

this will never happen again. make a wish once the time strucks it.....

ok. im bored. haiz.

out.
*mizah, sorry takde alarm clock. aku tdo mati siol... haha...
sorrysorry...

blah3

2006-05-03T17:19:00.000+08:00

blog da ok. entry dah ada. tagboard dah ada. im sorry ar ppl. i duno watsup with it but i think it gotta do with the new song i upload it. wth.

yea. and so, a new skin for the change. hope it looks okay to you guys.

ok. im back from the chalet. and damn, it was a hell of a ride. it was fun, and it was fun. really. haha. first day, went dere at night and i was from my motivator trainin for ndp. damn i was tired and blah3. den, when ive reached at downtown east, my fam haven arrive yet. rite. and ive waited, sittin dere alone for an hour plus. haiz. blah3, at chalet, chill for sometime and blah3 and we go lepak2, watched the vid of urbanize perfomance, makan2 and many more.

den blah3, 2nd day, we spent many hours at escape theme park. coz got free tix. haha! den blah3, go lepak2, den go play pool and arcade. and yea! me, two of my cousins, bro and some of my uncles, we went to play wargames. haha. water bomb and water guns everywhere. cool ar. den, blah3, went to the beach and chill. bein a lil emo at that moment. haha. wth.

blah3, den back home i was ystdy. and hell, it was great. had fun. haha....

anw, i cant find to put myself to slp seh. yekeleh. haha. had a voice convo with mizah juz now. juz accompany her doin her project. haha. it was great. haha.

ok. im sorry guys bout my blog. hehe.......

*fed11,
im sorry that i wasnt present at that time. didnt really meant that to happen. im truly sorry. ive totally forgot bout it and i know its my fault. it wont happen he next time.....

2006-04-29T13:27:00.000+08:00

hey...

im not gona be home for like two days from tmw. gona be at chalet downtown east. fam gatherin. im sure gona be fun..

till den, take care...

i duno why the hell is wrong with my blog.....
riiiittteeeeeeeee!

WE FREAKIN WON in PLATFORM 6!!!

2006-04-24T14:33:00.000+08:00

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE'VE MAKE IT TO THE TOP 5!!!!!!!!

URBANIZE MAKE IT TO THE TOP 5!!!!!!

damn. how great the event was. even tho the crowd seems to be suck, they're awesome somehow. how pretty cool the blast of the speakers. how lovely the atmoshpere has been in that freakin club.

its a one great experience to remember. besides winnin the title of bein the top 5, well guess wat....

IVE BEEN AWARDED AS THE 'BEST INDIVIDUAL RAPPER'...!!!!

seriously, i was so blur and didnt know that Ishmael from Public Eyez really called out my name. i was still in daze and dere were quite a delay for me to go to the stage coz i was BLUR and simply, I CANT BELIEVE IT! the crowd started to shout my name den. freakin hell. amek gamba muke stoink sak. coz im still blur. so i won,

-Pony vouchers worth of $250
-Certificate
-A set of cds; Mary J.Blige, Daddy Yankee, Ludacris, Rihanna (its all new album!)

damn. a day to remember. took video of the performance. and damn, i juz cant stop watchin it again and again...

and yea, check dis out...

URBANIZE will be on the papers. not in english, but in malay. after the show, the top 5 was bein interviewed by Berita Harian. and since almost my whole family came down, they took photos of us all together too. it'll be published tmw or tuesday. juz check it out ppl.... i myself cant wait for this shit......

The House Of Anonymous, Farhan, Akeem, Crazie Starr and Urbanize was the top 5...

i duno when is our next performances but im sure, there's whole lot of gigs waitin for us the blast the stage!

and i wanna thanks everybody who did came down to this event. and to those people who support Urbanize. on behalf of my crew, we greatly appreciate the love and support y'all brought to the house. and yea, a big thanks to my sis bout the banner (which im still cant believe she did dat banner), to my family and relatives, and of course, my beloved and only one, my NENEK. she's dere too and seriously, when WE won bein the TOP 5, granny came into my tots. Mastura came into my tots when i was performin. hmm, guess becoz she wasnt dere and God made me 'recieve' the prayers she've made for me. heh. and well, everybody seems to be so touched bout almost all my whole family gettin down.

haiz~

i still cant believe dis.... ahaks~

ok. anw, Taufik Batisah, Syed Azmir and Syaheed was the judges. and damn, Taufik and Azmir juz love our song and kept bouncin their heads. ahah! cool shit.

haiz. anw, rmbr bout the bbq pit on the 20th april? it was a one damn great outin we have. didnt sleep the whole night but only does for an hour. i stayed up until the night before the big day of Platform 6. damn i was tired when im in the club. but hell, didnt expect we cud won it anw! coz there's seriously have whole lot of groups were really a dope shit kick ass good at their performance....

haiz.
thanks everybody...
will notify you guys bout our next performance....

condo and memories

2006-04-17T17:08:00.000+08:00

its 0111hrs now. and im in nowhere of gettin near to be slpy. i duno why. despite of all the extreme exhaustion i had ystdy(15th april), it only took me to have only 6hrs of slp instead of 8 last night. ok, early morning in fact. weird it is, but ive slapped myself twice to make sure im in reality.

ok. anw, last thursday, wlds ring sec had their sports day. and i was down. met all the usual suspects and i cudnt be much more happier. the 'nine', the chinese peeps, my adek2 angkat and ppl dat knows me. kept gettin 'hey nizam!' everywhere i went. and yea, i miss you guys too...

the events werent really all be carryin out. and the event dat i really were lookin forward to was the 4x100m boys. and fucks, since it was rainin, it was postponed. dammit. i didnt get to see that event!!!!! and so, blah3, after the sports day thingy, me, moon, impy, wan, syarif, khai, yzd and sai went to al-ameen and makan! been real long since i ate there. blah3, we didnt know where else to go and den we ended up at syarif's condo. didnt really went in to his crib but we did chill out at the 6th floor at dis cool outdoor plc. its really awesome. but too bad it was rainin. but however, we did had fun dere. haha.

blah3, sai came up with the idea to have a swim. everybody den agreed to join. haha! except impy. moon had to go off earlier. well, so many things happened durin that 'pool' time. it was crazy. everything was madly hilarious. we laughed almost the whole hours we spent in dat pool. we talked, we joke, and we make a video. sorta the 'waterboys' movie. and it really a one damn funny clip we acted out. there's like even 'baywatch' and lame but funny acts we did when we take the water slides. it'll make you laugh your fuckin ass off i tell you...!

hahaha. the thing is, it wasnt all planned. and the last minute plan is really a one memoriable moments we had since the last time we had together. haha! it was great guys..... and the steam room, it was mad... ahaks!

blah3, last saturday, had trainin for ndp. yea, i was selected. weeeee~! i will be one of the motivators that will be cheerin out and motivate the crowd to get into the mood durin ndp. haha. and ppl, i oredi know wat will be the programs for ndp this year! it will be awesome. the theme for this year is, ''Our Global City, Our Home". something like dat ar. hmm. and so after that trainin which i had for like 6hrs, went to mit up with fafa at wlds. she asked me to accompany her to go study. and yea, i agreed. catched things up and stuff and yea, its been long since we sat together, studyin. haha. den blah3, mum and sis asked me along to mit them at bugis to buy some stuff. i was damn exhausted den. told them but they takin it like it was juz an excuse. no choice, i joined them. blah3, it was night den. and damn, went to mustaffa plak. pantat sia. i kept emphasisin dat im completely worn out but they didnt care less either. wth. nearly passed out there. hahaha.

den blah3, got home bout 3 in the mornin. instead of havin a bath first, i went straight to my bedroom and slept sia, without any hesitation. i juz cant stand the tiredness i had in me. i was like seriously completely worn out ystdy(15th april). but surprisingly this mornin(16th april), when i woke up, i realise dat i only slept for like 6hrs. haha. rite. usually in dis kind of case, when im sooo tired, i need for at least 13hrs of slp. really. juz 8hrs aint enuff for me.

ok. its 0203hrs rite now. and im still not slpy. oh wth.

anw, im freakin nervous when i came to think bout platform6! and im so duno whether we cud make it to the top 5. haizhaizhaiz. okok. i'll shuddup now. or negative points willl rise up in my mind.....

and anw, bought a pair of Converse shoes for myself ystdy at bugis! at last. and plus a shirt. awesome. at least i wasnt 'empty-handed' when i got home this early mornin. haha.

ok. im out. ntg else in mind to talk about.

WISH US LUCK FOR PLATFORM 6!!! haiz...

*you have no idea of how .................. haiz. i miss you alot. i miss you, Mappy...

2006-04-12T15:53:00.000+08:00

harlo!

im like . . . BORED!

haha. but there's mizah that im like entertainin now.
wahahahaha!

ok. anw, guess wat. ystdy, at macpherson, illegally, i jumped on my bike-to-be-real-soon and rode off to balam rd! weee~! its like... whoa! dad gave me the keys and ape lagi..... vroom! vroom! haha. it was great ar. but like, scarin too. the engine nearly died coz i was stuck somehow to change the gears. luckily i din let go of the clutch so the engine was still runnin and not many cars were ard at that time. drove bout 60km/h down the street of the straight road and it was mad. haiz. naik shiok plak aku. luckily no traffic police ard......

and anw, since my sis have a licence to legally ride on a bike ard, we've been off to plcs we long wanted to discover. explored empty roads, dim-lighted roads and many more. and been to punggol beach. the plc ive promised arfah to go to. haiz. biler mo pergi?? and, fucks, it was scary. smelt the ''cik pon's perfume'' on our way in and out. and luckily tak sangkut siol. but the punggol beach dere, its like a great plc to hang out. especially in the night. you'll see smtg dat you cant find at the other beach at ard 11.30pm...

oh yea. anw, ite students are on hols! and been rottin at home. nowhere to go coz no one to go out with. hahaha. its either they work, or sch, or lazy... pantat~

ok. i think i will go mapling later..
before this entry ends, read dis up....

----------------

One of the main reasons why in recent years the Singapore Government has always ensured that their Miss Universe representative were of tertiary level education or higher was because of the following incident which occurred not too many years ago.It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3 finalists, Miss USA, Miss Malaysia and Miss Singapore are being asked 3 simple questions:

MC: The first question is name me an electrical appliance starting with "L"

Miss USA: Lamp

Miss Malaysia: Light bulb

Miss Singapore: LADIO

Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter "L"

MC: I am going to give you 2 more chances;The next question is name me an animal starting with the letter "L"

Miss USA: Lion

Miss Malaysia: Leopard

Miss Singapore: LABBIT

Judge: No, no, no, Rabbit does not start with the letter "L"

MC: I am going to give you one last chance, if you answer this question incorrectly, you are disqualified.Name me a fruit starting with the letter "L"

Miss USA: Lemon

Miss Malaysia: Lychee

Miss Singapore, with full of confidence, smiles and says: LIEWLIAN !

This is not the end of the story, the Judge consulted the board of judges to determine if Miss Singapore should really disqualified;and they decided that since Miss Singapore was having as many problems with the letter "L", they decided to give her another chance.

Judge: OK, the final question is name me a human anatomy starting with the letter "L"

Miss USA: Lung (applause)

Miss Malaysia: Liver (even more applause)

Miss Singapore: LAN CHEOW !

Judge: ?????????!!!

Wakakakakakakakakakakahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
wth....

anw, dis is the flyer of the Platform 6 event...

k out.
bleargh~

umm..?hello?

2006-04-07T14:57:00.000+08:00

hey. . .
its been a while, i know. sorry for my absence. been rather lazy to update it... i know la you all miss me.... heh. rite.

well, dis week seems to me like ive got long days everyday. worn out everytime and feelin slpy even durin daytime. hmmm. guess i haven been slpg well and aint havin sufficient rest nowadays.
bleargh~

ok. today in sch was as per normal. had fun, as usual. and like, there weren't any lesson today. took the whole 3hrs of the period to discuss bout this bbq pit thing for our class for which our form teacher wanted us to have. and pantat, he asked me to organise this event. coz we both like made dis stupid deal last time. haiz. dis is like im payin back...

it was stressful to get everybody bein cooperative and everything. but turned out ok overall. got mashita to help me out thru organisin this event. and anw, it's all well-planned oredi. and im pretty sure, with the plans we've made, it'll be a great and memoriable event we will have on dat day. . .

cant wait sia. and dat day, gonna beat up dis one classmate of mine, we call him Ah Long, coz it'll be his b'day too on the same day. the pit is on the 20th of this month btw. hahaha. and its been long since my fist ever hit someone. evrybody had planned to give him 18punches each. hahaha. amek kau Long.. and yea, i'll be stayin overnight with 10 other peeps more. it starts at 3pm and ends at 9pm. but we boys, and dis two girls, want to stay overnight! haha. kite taunt! weeee~! cant wait sia.....

anw, i went to dis one cool site. which my old fren, Mizan, discovered it. and i know wats my name in hawaiian, french and japanese. Nizam Fadhli = ... Lono Keona-hawaiian, Ryu Kobayashi-jap, Gregoire Beauvoir-french. cool huh.... i loike my jap name! haha.........

hmmmm........ yea!
Urbanize next performance will be on the 22nd of April. the venue is at D'BLo (somehwere ard dhoby ghaut), doors open ard 2pm or 3pm till 7.30pm and the tix price is at 10 bucks, includes a free drink. this event is called 'Platform 6'. an event dat is bein organised annually. and the purpose of dis event is to recruit fresh grooves local groups/solos into a deeper side of the Singapore HipHop scene. dis event is sorta like a competition. where the top 5 will have the first privilege to perform gigs dats oredi bein confirmed such as at YouthPark, clubs, librarys', ZOUK and blah3.....

for those who really wanna come, durin recess time, dont eat! hahahaha. save it to buy the tix!!
hehe. there'll be guest performers such as Public Eyez, Three Flow from KL, Triplenoize, Phatnatrix and more. come down eh.... and support US! support URBANIZE! hope we'll be in the top 5................

and yea, i have the tix with me. tell me when y'all confirmed dat y'all wanna go...
call, sms or msn me....

support the local people. show some love......

ok. im like bored at home. ntg to do and.... well.... im bored la......
found this another comic strip......

funny?
laugh den.........
wakakakakkakakakakaka......
get the point.......

oh yea, saw azni juz now with farah.... it was nice to see them.......
=)
k out.

*imissmas

blahblahblah........

2006-03-29T11:09:00.000+08:00

today was rather a plain day for me...
but yet, it was an enjoyable one..

woke up rather late for school in the early morn and asked dad to send me to sch. thx dad. blah3, got in class and only to find out class haven start yet. rite. supposingly starts at 8 but the teacher start it at 9 coz not people were present yet. ahaha. rite. i reached ard 0830. and anw, the best thing in class juz now, almost all the boys, includin me, played counter-strike. haha. gerek! it was our one hour break anw. haha. we are in dis new lab you see. and somehow got lan games. oh wth.....

blah3, teacher ended the class quite early. me and the usual suspects took a long time to decide where to go. haha. ended up lepak-ing under the void deck in front of sch. fags and junk, as usual. blah3, went back to sch and we went to dis student recreation centre. watched a movie dere. Initial D. it was great. nearly slept coz the couch was damn soft and comfy. shiok ar..! haha. blah3, went up for class.

and blah3, class pun abes. we went to the src again. hahaha. watched fd3. it was giler... someone actuali vomitted sia. wahahaha. sial....

blah3, it was like 5. so we all headed home. slept in the bus and when i was at the interchange, i went to prima deli and bought dis wafer coz i need smtg for my stomach. saw d menu statin dere's cheese. i tot the cheese wud be like the ones where you can find in KFC cheese fries. so i tot of givin it a try instead of peanut butter as always. i really tot it wud be cheese sauce she'll be puttin but it was juz two triangular shape of kraft cheese dat is only bout 2millimeter thick. wth. the point is, it was expensive then the price for peanut butter. and i regret buyin it! coz one thing, it was tasteless. and two, expensive! haiz... have to fork out twenty cents more! it cost $1.40 and the peanut butter is $1.20 only seh. haiz......

pantat~
20cents...

den blah3, here i m. home sweet home....

haiz. kinda a long day today.... oh wth... dreamt of an old fren when i was aslp in the bus...... i miss dat someone.....................

out.
i wanna play Maple! wahahahahahaha.....

short hair?

2006-03-27T16:54:00.000+08:00

ive cut my hair!!!!

amcm ni....

like cannot believe seh....

omg...

its like..................

S H O R T . . . . . !!!!!

wth! hahaha. i like it and i dun like it. well, i think itz the same look as when i were to have it cut short before. so, friends and foes, expect the unexpected...

it seems to be confirmed that most of my frens gonna be in real shock to see me with my new look.....

oh damn....
im bored...

ok. read the comic strip...

hilarious?
IT IS sia....... laugh la...!!!

the right girl

2006-03-24T15:59:00.000+08:00

ok mizah, here goes.....

game instructions - the tagged victims have to come up with 7 different points of their perfect lover. specify gender of the target. tag 7 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged. if tagged the second time, there's no need to post again. have fun!

gender; female.
1. tall
2. lovely
3. something bout the eyes
4. and the smiles... =)
5. able to make things straight too instead of only i will
6. undastanable and straightforward
7. bein fun and easy-goin...

next 7 people;apen, missy, azni, arfah, wan, ais, mimi

*sorry dat im rather late doin dis...
been quite long since ive been to your blog.... heh.....

hello..?

2006-03-24T15:49:00.000+08:00

ok. its been a while...
well itz juz dat im a bit lazy to update and all...
heh..
excuse me pls....

ok. aint much to talk about today. sch was as usual. crap and stuff. cudnt get any better den ystdys'. everyday is a day to rmbr. wahahaha. life in ite is much diff den wat ive gone thru in sec sch. more stupid, dumb things, you name it. and the best thing is dat you'll have your own freedom in sch. but never have i take it for granted. never have i skip class or antg. okok... maybe once. heh. but on top of all this, ntg is much more greater than the friends you had in sch for 4 years or so. i miz the 9 peeps back at wlds ring sec..........

anw, everybody now whenever they were to see me, they'll always ask bout when will i ever cut my hair...
cmon. i dun feel like it yet sia. sometimes i wanted to. but i juz feel dat it cud be wasted if i were to. and i have to admit it. my hair IS long. haiz. like some kids in sch wud say, i looked like 'mods'. know wat dat is..? duno..?screw you...

ok. had INA test recently. quite confident i'll pass. coz ive been like studied for it real diligently. really. like i never was. haha! duno y but reli, i was so damn into the studyin. spent more den 6hours i think, non-stop on memorisin and tryin out the codes and web pages. haha...

rite. anw, i wanna make a confession... . . .
its been days now and i juz duno how much more i cud say and prove you dat i love you. its been days since the last i saw your pretty face. and i know, location isnt a matter but it aint easy for me to be there all the time. i cant possibly be beside you like i know you always wanted to. and knowin how dis aint gonna be workin out, we have to be on our own separate ways now. my friends been tellin me dat im juz not right for you and aint meant to be with you. i was against it initially until i realised that it all seems to turned out to be true. we have to face it. but even how much pain dat it'll caused, i will love you still. no matter wat...
take care, mappy............

we juz cant be together. let's move on. i'll cum by and see you one day......
we can still be friends and im not dumpin you.....
im doin it for the best for both of us.........

haiz...mappymappy....

2006-03-16T22:27:00.000+08:00

ok. like, today is also someone's birthday...

well....

HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST MASTURA!!!!!!!
haha...
*hope that you will get what you want for your prezzie. and what you've wished for, might came true one fine day......
loveya...

anw, went to escape theme park juz now and had real fun and craziness. altho the rides were kinda borin, we make it a fun moment. crazy stuff, as usual, and did made a lot of new friends. haha...

it was great. paid 4bucks for it. and kinda worth it....

bleargh~

im tired....

2006-03-16T15:57:00.000+08:00

first and foremost,

Happy Birthday to YOU...
Happy Birthday to YOU...
Happy Birthday to MUHD NIZAM FARHAN!!!
Happy Birthday to YOU...~!

*hope you'll get what you've wished for and pls, i really hope that you'll never change the way how i think you would be one day.....
iloveyou, as always....

so its my bro's birthday and well, he's not home. thought of havin a brother's day out but he's currently in sch for this uniform group camp. haiz. missed him oredi. and so, he's 16. biler orang tu mo 16..?wahahahaha. now den i can ask him along to play pool or watch nc16 movies. like, finally! haha. best wishes bro....

today sch was kinda great. after sch, as usual, me, yat, huda and maria, went to tampines. sat here and there and pollutin the air. bought chocolate milkshake and cud never stop buyin it until we're really broke. whahaaha! wth. met rauzan, freaky z and abg imran at the mall. they were like doin their thing, aint wanna disturb.

ok. so its like a new template. somehow i find it cool. wahahahah. im more to goth stuff nowadays. wth. and anw, bout the video thingy, i still havent get it from my friends! i cant upload it yet. im sorry if there's anybody like waitin for it. will let y'all know as soon as it'll got done. sorry for the delay...

im like bored. nothing to do. wth...

oh yea. besides sleeping, guitar, beats, songs, readin and tv im doin at home, mapling is now my daily thing too. haha. yes2... i start to play maple. got all bored and so, guess dis is juz one way to kill my boredom. haha...

its kinda fun.... try it!

out.

_

2006-03-12T04:31:00.000+08:00

phase test i got 97/100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!
muahahahahahaa!

its been long since ive scored so well. haha. dat's like almost perfect....! haiya. okok. ive got my ite ez-link oredi. kept on negotiating for it sia. whahaha. coz like my hair is long and mr.wong wudnt let me have it unless ive cut my hair. wth. i aint gona cut until mappy tells me so. haha! rite.... mappy huh...

talkin bout her, i met her 3days ago!!! haish. although she seems to be ignoring me, im happy that i cud see her again. and i hugged her.... haha! got her on my lap and not long, she lied down. cant you believe it? and she actuali followed me ard even when wan tried callin her to follow him. haha! wan, amek kau! mappy dah suke aku! weee~! and apen, jgn buat aku jealous ar.. dat time kau takde, touchin seh dier. dgr kate aku seh...

haiz~

anw, ystdy, was Urbanize performance! and hell, we did make a blast! wahahah! sial ar.. like, c'mon ar.. the crowd was giler when we came out! haha. the screams and shouts.. kimek.. the three of us cudnt believe it seh. we didnt know dat we are actuali already bein known many to others. as wat boy and wan wud say, we're 'the next big thing'. rite. personally, it was rather appalling dat ppl actuali shouted your name and all when you onli knw dat you dun have any fans yet. wth. it was the greatest performance Urbanize has ever had! the sound system was great, the crowd has been great and a full packed of ppl were ard sia. ramai giler dok. haha. sial ar...

it wud be an unforgettable experience. it has left me an indelible mark, on my young pliable mind. it was an awesome show. Psykelectics, Velvet Groove, Sleeq, Richard and many all were performin. as usual, they were great and so were Public Eyez! haha. as for my performance, im pretty sure everyone likes it and thanked God, we didnt cocked up. we were shitless backstage. hands were all cold and butterflies kept flyin in the stomach and duno how to behave. haiz. and anw, our performance got in on video. three ppl actuali took it for me. so like i got it in three angle. and i tell you, its a show that is the great ever. Too Phat performed too and hell, they were awesome sia. performed twice and everybody went wild sia. haha. happenin to the max seh ystdy...

anw, before all that happened, after we had reported strength, we were asked to go to the dressing room for which, we, urbanize, reli felt like we like some kind of 'superstars'! there's this room for ours and damn, the toilet is damn big sia. there's a room for you to flush and a room for you to take a brush. and of coz, the shower. cool sia. the plc was inside the esplanade. the underground part of the esplanade. only the backstage crew, the performers and any authorised ppl can go in. its cool ar. reli felt like 'superstars'. you can actuali goes in anywhere dat is restricted for public. haha.

haiz. it was some awesome shit...
and many of the ppl i knew were there.. all of almost the whole of my ite frens, sopfian, the wgs ppl, nora, shahrul, everyone dat ive invited, thx for cumin dwn and to the ppl dat i invited and didnt meet you guys, im totally sorry. did search for you ppl and cudnt be seen anywhere...
thx everybody for cumin dwn and do supportin Urbanize...

ok. anw, bout the video, i'll try upload it in youTube. will keep you guys updated bout it...

*dats my tag....
fucks...

haiz~
gerek siol........

_

2006-03-06T14:19:00.000+08:00

phase test is tmw!!!!!!!!!!!
darn....
and i THINK im prepared enough. God... i duno. im not quite confident myself. wth. anw, heard ITE will be having hols of the whole april. i still duno whether if itz true. haha. rite.

and so, this wkends, its borin. haha. went to earshot at the arts hse ystdy. and freakyZ is relirelireli hilarious. everytime he were to be the host, never will he ever stop crackin ppl up. he's so the funny. he performed, as well as sleeq, public eyez!, velvet groove, psykelecticz, x'statix and ermmm... ive forgot! rite. and guess wat... abg imran, beats-society director, he rap durin the show!!! freakyZ was like forcin him to rap. and he did! dat part was like the awesome bit of all. haha. and of coz, public eyez performance.. haha.

and today, planned out to hang with rozaimi, my ite pal, to town. and do our stuff and buy stuff. wahaha! in our class, he's like the joker. everyday makes us laugh wif all his crap and stuff. haha. plus me in the act, well, people juz wont stop laughin, rollin themselves on the floor. haha. crazy peeps is in the hse and so, never been a borin day for me durin sch times. haha.

anw, i gotta be honest. i started takin fags again. i know it aint a good stuff but like, temptations have got me all conquered. for those people who dont expect me to, im sorry. for those people who are, rock on! haha. rite. im tryin to quit sooner or later anw. its been three weeks since i start takin the first puff. hmm...rosak!

anw, im freakingly scared and nervous now coz my performance is like five more days and i havent even get started with the lyrics. wth. the beat is done. onli the fcukin lyrics. im stuck along the way. i need abg imran. damn. joe gonna rap instead of singin. and we gurantee y'all dat we'll make a blast! haha. the beat is dope la... haha...

i cant wait to watch 'whose line is it anyway..'...
i need good laugh.............

*i need the presence of Mappy! missed her. haiz. she's reli nice and great...

haiz~

...

2006-03-01T04:18:00.000+08:00

hey..

so guess wat?
im in sch nw..
and something wrong with the internet at home. and im sooo bored when im at home. besides makin beats and lyrics, sleep is all i ever do. or maybe juz goin out to anywhere.

anw, never have i been had so much fun spending time durin weekends. last sat and sun was like the best gig ive ever been to. sat was at wldss cc. sweef performed! which is, hidir and boy. although they didnt win the com, their performance was dope. and frankly speakin, i gave them 9 out of 10 as freshmen to performin. seriously, it was dope. for those who have missed it, i'll keep you guys updated to catch their next performance.

sunday, it was at esplanade-theatre on the bay. went for HipHop Hooray. and to Sleeq, im sorry dat i didnt catch ur performance guys. i was late coz it was my granny's birthday. had to be down at her crib first for celebration.

but how late i was, i managed to catch Three Flow performance! haha. they're from KL. and KL crew's have been improvised in performance wise and stage presence seh. cool. and their show was an awesome shit. Three Flow on the go!

and next up, was Public Eyez. my all-time fav. as always, their bit was damn cool. and ishmael, i respect you. hah. gerek sak gig.

oh yea. at the wlds cc gig, for the first time, i cud taste the appreciation from the crowd. they've showed their love to local scenes. the whole crowd was wild. haha! met an old fren dere... haha. she's still such a sotong...

guess im out now. class will be over soon oredi. well, take care guys...

*imizmappy...

2006-02-25T15:55:00.000+08:00

its been 8days. hmm..

anw, im stressed. phase test is cumin soon. and i duno will i pass. for INA class, it has never been a borin class once for me. all the time we will all learn how to make a website. chapter after chapter. and the more chapter we go, the more complicated it seems to be. hah. bleh naik giler sak... but it was fun la...

so, my day today has been a tiring one. had NAPFA test in school and been out with mashita, hayat and sheila to city hall. me and hayat are both juz extras. we were bored, had nowhere to go after the friday prayers. so we decided to juz follow her to mit her fren at marina square.

blah3, got dere, mit up wif mashita and we went up to the third floor i think. we went to dis outdoor area and once we're dere, a beautiful scenery cud be seen! it was awesome. cud see the esplanade and the sea frm the plc we lepak. the merlion and all. we chilled dere for some time and havin our cheese-baked rice as well. sedap sak! serious. u ppl shud try. blah3, headed home den.

and while otw home, dozed off in NEL and when i woke up, found myself alone in the train and was at Harbour Front station. haha! wth. took actuali one round of the whole stations in the North East Line. rite.

anw, finally! i get to see Mappy! went down to wlds yesterday to actuali mit my old clique of frens! how ive missed them so much. they were so shocked when they saw me. haha. i gave a good surprise. especially fafa. haha. miz you too, sister. and den lepak2 sampai mlm. dats wen i met Mappy. she is such a beauty. and i think im fallin in love wif her, like wan and apen did. she was close to wan seh and i was sort of jealous at that moment. guess becoz it was our first day mitin wif each other and the fact that she is not used to me yet. one day i'll make her be wif me all the time when im ard...

fcuks. ive got muscle pains all over my body seh. hah. and i mean, ALL over. well, im pretty sure it was becoz its been long since the last i have my body exercised. rite. sakit siow. and anw, some things im juz dun quite understand. ive been gettin critics and stuff , and people dont actuali know wat im goin thru either. and they juz bombed me wif things like they tryin to get me to the point where i cud juz surrender myself.

i know we both are at fault and i know ive changed too. and people who wrote in my tagboard seems to be the people who is stupidly coward. tryna tag down and make it seem dat im the one to be blame and not tellin who they are. what are they afraid of anw? so wat if i were to know that particular person writin dat particular comment? i dun care wat people wud think or say bout me. s long s i know wat i m reli doin. and im sure arfah knows wat she's doin too. and whoever dat fuckin 'anonymous', i do still care boout her. and you people juz dont know. silence doesnt mean im bein ignorant and didnt do antg. you duno wat the fuck have i been doin and go thru. and you can wonder all you want...

my back is still damn hurtful and its achin real bad. im walkin like i have a hunchback. rite. muscle pains all over, all ard my body. ive shud been start exercisin way before this NAPFA test we had juz now. even my abs achin too. its been long since i do sit ups. my record was 50situps anw. dammn. hate muslces pain...

pantat~!

outty now.

2006-02-18T15:56:00.000+08:00

i juz dont fcukin undastan dis...
i need to see dis girl..
wat in the hell wrong wif her sia...
or rather, wat wrong have i done?
i know we aint really been seein each other but...
did she even know wat is she doin?
she told me ive changed...
She's the one who's been changin sia..
does she even knows dat?
and the fcukin fact dat im her boyfriend sia...
and she's totally wrong seh....
what are YOU really thinkin sia?
and if YOU tell me dat YOU love me,
and dat YOU willin to prolong this relationship eh,
YOU shud be fightin for it seh when i asked for the break up...
and let YOUR heart out...
not 'fine then'...
say out wat YOU wanna say ar...
and YOU bein in dat way makin me feel dat our 13mths plus is juz a waste of time seh...
all this time in our relationship,
ive always been the one who seeks for answers...
N YOU shudnt actuali see the promises we've made a bullshit...
how cud YOU think it dat way...?
YOU're juz wrong...
and do YOU even know wat YOU are doin or not?
why YOU are actin like dis?
so wat YOU got peeps dat got YOUR back?
i dun give a FUCK bout dat...
wat are YOU tryin to do sia...
and wat are YOU thinkin?
YOU are not the ARFAH i used to know either...
im very much disappointed in you...
how sanggup and all ive done to you...
the time sacrifices and all...
wat?
crap to you now?
coz if it does,
YOU dun even reli treasure me sia...
if YOU have this way of thinkin,
YOU are sooo totali wrong....
N wen YOU actin like dis, i shud be the one who suppose to think wat ive done is all a freakin bullshit sia...
but i dont...
coz wat the things ive done to you is all with much sincerity...

i'll leave it to you how you see it...
and how i seem to be hatin you,
i duno why but i still love you....
i dun wan any beefin to happen btwn us...
im not tryin to put all the blame to you...
coz i know i m to be blame too...
and sayin dis is juz wat i wanna let my heart out to you....
and im juz kept wonderin....
juz... why arfah?
think it over...
------

2006-02-15T19:05:00.000+08:00

hello.

im back bloggin again. and anw, Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovely couples!haha. kk. aku mepek. ok. so here goes...

started off the day by wakin up rather early then the time i have set for my alarm clock. yea. weird. well, someone sms me and the message alert woke me up. hah. so, took my time to get ready for school. blah3, didnt realize the time actuali 11 o'clock oredi! rite. supposingly i nd to mit my fren 11am at the busstop. ok. so i was late a lil. and indeed kene mara. ok. sorry huda...

blah3, as usual, mit hidayat at tampines. den mit nad at bedok reservoir. and blah3, sampai skola mit the rest-hayat, remy, bob, sardine and kelvin. got in the sch, saw denise sittin down like at the front of the foyer and holdin a rose. we all tot its for hayat. damn... it was like, funny sia. she kept smilin when we asked her whether that rose really for hayat or not. well, actuali, its not for him la but we kept disturbin her wif hayat. ok. dis hayat, fren of mine, on the second day of school, he kacau dis denise. dis denise is like a 18yr old girl with the pri1 attitude. she dressses like as if its primary sch and she puts on her bagpack damn high. she's sort of mcm ade mental prob(dats wat we all tot ar..) coz she acts really strange. and she comes from a rich family sia. and i mean, real rich. and since dat day, we all slalu kacau dis hayat and denise an item. wahahaha!

ok. blah3, after reportin strength and everybody was ard oredi, we proceed to the auditorium. go for this talk. blah3, after four hours (there's two talks..), den we all duno where to go. after some time den i rmbr that i forgot that ive to mit my CO at my old sch. and so i told them i gtg and so i took my leave and off to wlds. when im otw, at SLE, kiwak... teringat2 siol time aku nak kene bgn pagi2 bute gi skola kat wlds.. haiz. i miz those times. but wateva la.. things have moved on. and so shud i. ok....

after my mitin wif my CO, and since ive got no date, went to mit up hidir. he's from his lepak wif my bro and all.. met at wlds interchange and like damn, its been long since we've lepak together sia and me bein at wlds. been openin my eyes big2 sia if i cud at least c arfah ard. heh. no luck still. blah3, me and hidir lepak at 3hsepark for three hours. n i got home ard nearly 9.30pm. blah3, thinkin back, ive realized dat nowadays i seems to be balik lmbt je seh. heh. its either i go lepak ngan member2 kat tm, the toys 'r' us dere, or im mitin anyone. nowadays, im always at tampines, tm or century square or i cud be anywhere wif them. like at harbour front sikit ari. hah. but mostly kat daerah tampines. im an eastside now. rite. but im still faithful to the north side. coz all my frens is dere seh. haiz. the peeps dat i grew up wif. hmm.. im thinkin of mitin them real soon...

anw, found out dat platform 6 will be brought forward to april. its like becoz of the mosaic thingy. and they dun wan us to like feel stress bout it. ape je beats-society... heh... oh yea, urbanize is under the Beats-Society fam.... awesome! =)

i duno wat else to say. only one thing. dat is, i cant wait for the lesson later! study how to do a website. and yea... im makin a website. bout local hiphop scene and urbanize... itz on progress. duno when will it be up but will keep you updated! no worries...

besides the lesson, i wanna c Joan! cute la kau.... wahahaha... got a cute classmate in my class...
always disturb her...
wahaha...

oh anw, ive been abused today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by remy and hidayat. fucks la. rabak nye seh.
kene sebat, sepak, cubit ngan tendang. irritatin seh. but somehow enjoyin it ar. ahaks! and they said its for my bday sia coz on dat day, dorang blum sebat aku....

cibai~

wateva la. sakit sak dorang sepak. and yea, in my new cliquez, my nick was boysotong or boybahan. sotong bcoz im always blur2 and bahan bcoz im always the victim to be kene kacau... rite.

i cant wait for 10th march. oh damn... i gurantee you all will bounce your head one. and if any of you did come by, pls comment bout our performance yea... i'll remind again...

out.

im back.

2006-02-13T03:56:00.000+08:00

hello.

i know. its been damn long since im writin an entry. and people been complainin. im sorry la. well, its the fact that my bro has always been the first to use the comp. and everytime i told him that i wud wanna use the comp, he tends to ignore me. rite. wth. so this is ma chance. he's slpg now btw...

well, many things has been happennin all ard since for the past 3weeks, 5 days. on the 28th Jan, my uncle organised sorta a fam gatherin at downtown east chalet. and damn, he rent the chalet for a week sia. that's been the longest ever we've ever rented for a chalet. well, its basically for celebratin my granny's b'day, ma uncle's b'day, mine b'day and fam gatherin. the first four days, was like fun and been a great experience. so many many things happened. but the last day of the chalet was the most fun i ever had at chalet thingy and an unforgettable one.

well, it was friday. many people were present sia. albert, richard's bro, was there. my bro's fren- hidir, isa and dika, were present too. i asked along my ITE frens down too. kecoh siol. n onli hidayat, bob and hayat stay behind and taunt! remy and nad had to go earlier ard 1am coz they are workin the next day. giler. start kul 8am balek kul 1 pagi. ok. there's this one point of time, we all were bored. i was like kept sayin dat im bored and albert den started to agree wif me and den we both planned to have a walk at the mangrove swamp. the plc that is sooooo dark and creepy, wif eerie sounds and all. and that plc, do hav that 'cik pon'. me and albert asked everybody along and set off.

blah3, we were like in front of the jungle oredi. we count strength, there's 13 of us. 13 is the number seh. if you know wat i mean. and its odd number. there's me, my bro, my sister, boy, hidir, dika, isa, albert, shikin, rashid, bob, hayat, hidayat. shikin started to freak out wen she know there's 13 of us. i calmed her down and told her to chill. i nearly slap her seh to wake her up. haha. rite. blah3, she was den ok and we all proceed to the jungle.

i partnered wif shikin, and she was shitless. keep holdin ma hand and all. her grip was like super tight seh. den, when we're in the middle of the jungle i think, it was like pitch black. its like the same as the darkness wen you close your eyes. den, everybody there, includin me, den light up their fags coz we need sorta 'indicator'... so dat if we cud not c the person, we cud see the lit from the fags. we were practically kept talkin and talkin and blah3. we walked for like forever sia den we came across this bench and so we all decided to have a timeout. sat down for a while and off we go again at the walkin trail. fucks.

it was damn scary sia wen we're at the 'maze'. boy felt smtg and saw 'it' sia. den he lemah semangat. fucks. everybody were like quite lain macam oredi sia. rite. rashid and ma sister was like calmed everybody down. rite. blah3, we go lepak at the beach.

chill3, den we go back chalet after for a few hours. got back at the chalet, we sat down and talk3. play cards and all. it was den 7 plus oredi. and albert da naik giler. coz he had to work later on. which starts at 9. giler sak. everybody were shocked. den he went ard kacau2 org sak. and it was damn funny sia. damn damn funny. albert was like so funny sia. i completely laughed my ass off. hah. blah3, after some time, everybody dozed off except for me, my sis, and shikin. and that's when im crazy too. jangkit si albert.

blah3, my sis da gone, masuk tdo, den it was left shikin and me. we both like cudnt slp sia. still energetic and active. and fyi, shikin is my adek sdare jauh dat is the same age as me! haha. and so, we both were so bored and den, we decided to go to the beach. we chill at this one bench. talk about ourselves and sch and all. blah3, it was 8plusplus. we both like bored oredi den i decided to go to the jungle again. she go for the thrill. so it was onli both of us, went in the jungle. we discovered many things seh. and nasib baik ntg happen. haiz.

blah3, i got dis crazy challenge between her and me of how long can we stay up. the one that sleeps first will have to blanje the one dat slps later. haha. we're on. blah3,we go back to the chalet. and dat was saturday, the last day of the chalet thing. so hafta pack things up. everybody were like choose not to go back seh. all wish to stay. haiz. so many things happen seh. and i onli tell you guys one story. rite. i wish for the chalet thing happen again sia...

hmm, den after dat chalet thing, i had a gig to cum down. speakeasy at the arts hse. bro sampai uma trus tdo again seh while i cant slp again. even when i put maself to bed and close my eyes,
i still cant find myself aslp. rite. so i decided to use the comp and play games. blah3, it was time to go for the gig. and so im out. at the gig after for a few hours, i felt weak. coz i didnt slp for the whole night and everything. i was totali wasnt myself. everybody were scared of me. even syarif cudnt believe dat im reactin lyk dat. its like, im on drugs. seriously, i dun realised myself im actin dat way. rite. never been in this way before seh. guess it's becoz i've work out alot and actuali worn out totali. i was emotionally drained. hah.

so many things happened sia. after that gig, we go makan and i vomitted twice. rite. and yea, saw fireworks when we're at the boat quay. it was so beautiful and at that point of time, how i wish arfah really bein by my side and saw that fireworks together. haiz. i miz her....

anw, there's this one day, urbanize-my crew, were invited to perform for Mosaic at the Esplanade. and recently, been at this club for audition. and we got thru! weeee~! so we get to perform!! the club was hype sia. it's called Coccolatte. the soundcheck will be on the 9th of march. the performance will be the next day. 5pm onwards. come down and watch the locals performin! support the locals ar.....

n ya, Too Phat is performin too... so check it out.... check us out too.... heh!

hmmm, before i end this entry, wanna wish azreil, ''HAPPY belated 17th BIRTHDAY, old pal!!!''
haha. he's bday was ytdy and i didnt get the chance to wish him personally. and, to mizah, ive updated! sori smlm tak update pasal it was mum plak gettin in the way. rite. and yea, congrats again!

to all my frens yg da dpt results abeh pass, congrats ar... keep it up poeple.........
to my frens that didnt do dat well, at least we know you've done your very best... juz keep on tryin...

out.

2006-01-25T23:38:00.000+08:00

hey...

first and foremost, to Chermain, Happy 17th Birthday! i have missed her alot. met her ystdy. went to Hard Rock Cafe, celebratin her b'day dere wif old frens and new frens of her's. came down together wif farhan. i miz him sia. he's ma bro since we're in fourth grade. Ya Ting, Joanne, Sheng Ping, Ah Xiang and Louis was dere too. Louis is ma closest fren ever sia way back in pri sch. and im juz so happy i got to mit all of them. its been long. ok. gave the birthday girl a flower that i made out maself for her present coz i duno wat else to give her. she was so beautiful sia. sheng ping told me she actuali still like me. hmmm. rite. too bad i got maself a girl oredi. and she knows that.

she had a good surprise ystdy. she was away to the toilet when suddenly she's out, the performers called out her name and told everybody it was her b'day. haha. so everybody in that cafe sang the birthday song to her. wif the clappin and all. haha. she was so the damn paisey sia. blah3, so i helped out cuttin the cake and Chermain den passed it to her frens. she was sayin she's paisey everytime i gave her the plates wif the slices of the cake. hahahaha. she's cute sia.

blah3, we all den went to play pool nearby. blah3, i had to go. i wished her happy birthday again and walked off. farhan and some stayed to play until 3am. crazy. had fun and all celebratin her bday. and its every year we always celebrate our birthday together. mine was on the 20th and her's 24th and Ya Ting 25th. we three always celebrate on Chermain's bday. i remembered last year one was at Pasir Ris chalet. dis year at Hard Rock sia. kaye sak ni anak. haha.

so, today is Ya Ting's day. the day she came out from the mother. hehe. to Ya Ting, Happy 17th Birthday!!! i wanna slap her face! she pinched and punched me ystdy, sayin it was her present for me. and i cant have ma revenge coz she said her bday havent come. ishhh. i also duno when our next mitin. seems like we onli see each other once a year. hah.

anw, im sorry i didnt update for quite some time. ive been sick. and i mean, real sick. started to be sick since on the 18th. i got better on the 23rd. heh. had high fever for the first time for three days straight. ma cough haven got any better tho. sialan. i hate cough sia.

guess im out. gonna go have a short nap. got sch sia later. fucks.
so far, sch fun. im enjoyin ite. wahahahah. azni's words startin to be true. so yea, you were right...

outty.

first day in ITE and ...

2006-01-17T15:57:00.000+08:00

hey...

so guess what. today is ma first day in ITE. posted to ITE College Central MacPherson Campus. the day was pretty borin and durin the openin speech and all, i sleep sia! wahahaha. rite. it was like so the slpy sia. the speaker dun really know how to like make it sound interestin. wah lao. sian sia. many people were present there. duh~! first day what. ok. lame.

going to school wif the one and only, Sopo! haha. dats what ive been callin him now. he's name is sopfian actually. mit up at 8 plus at sengkang bus interchange. there have a straight bus to the school but! the journey took bout an hour sia. dammit seh. i almost vomit in the bus. sop was shriekin everytime i acted as if im about to vomit. wahaha. dats funny. he's a total belo. pak belo. haha. ok. i cannot really have a long bus ride you see. im bus-sick. the long the journey is, the more headaches will i get.

reached sch ard 9.10am. tot we were late and only to find out they're about to set off to respective classroom when we arrived at the foyer. we're at the nick of time. blah3, went up to the classroom and settle down. made a fren named nash. he's from yishun sec. he came to me and we shook hands. sat beside him den. blah3, our form teacher, Mr Wong Siew Kin, wanted us to intro ourself. i was like 'oh damn'. i felt like its kindergarten again. and so we all did. blah3, it was tea break. so we all set off to the canteen and chill...

while enterin the canteen, many of the seniors were already there, were all lookin at us. all the mat rips and wateva start callin out names and stuff. it was so the kecoh. blah3, met sop again. he's in mechatronics anw. den, me, nash and sopo chill while havin our drinks. blah3, it was time to be up again. assembled at the foyer and off we went to the auditorium. that's when i slept. spent almost an hour and a half there. talks and craps were said. disciplinary and shits. blah3, tour ard the campus...

that's when i made more new frens. there came hayat, bob, saed, kelvin, mashita, nadira, remy, azlan, kok siew, and duno who. forgot. blah3, it was lunch time. we all went down to the canteen and mkn. well, me and nash didnt. the rest did. we all sat together at this one big table and talk amongst ourselves. we chilled2 and suddenly, there this one girl, a senior, walkin right thru me. came up to me and suddenly opened up a convo by askin me, 'so you're the new batch in this jan intake?'. we chat for a while and i stumbled alot. i dun practically say antg. den, she asked for ma number. rite. didnt gave it to her tho. juz told her that we cud juz talk in sch. her name is hayati anw...

so, arfah's curse was right. indeed there's someone wanna get to know me. rite. but like, wah lao.... first day sia..... mepek sak. k, back to the story. den blah3, went up to the auditorium again. got talks and shits. blah3, it was time to go home, which supposingly ends at 5 that we ended early at 3. ok...

hmm. in ma class, hayat giler. after the lunch time, he cabut skola and went to mit his gf at paya lebar mrt. rite. bob cabut jgk. giler. they asked we all along but we didnt go. we stay. a potential of a gd ite student huh? hahaha! rite. k. pape. nadirah and this girl i duno her name is the prettiest in ma class. haha. rite. this nad keep lookin at me and i duno why. one point of time, we both were like in front of each other, she suddenly smiled. i turned away. hah! ok. wtf. this mashita, she likes to laugh. and her laugh always makin us wanna laugh. hah. she's cute. she's 19 and from ite clementi. duno why she suddenly in macp. she's plump and chubby! wahaha. hayat suke kacau dier. padahal baru kenal... rite.

all the names that i mentioned above, surprisinly, when we all were talkin, its like as if we know each other since childhood. haha. it was great knowin them and all. that kelvin is a veteran of an ah beng. he's 18. and like, he stop gangsterism for the better. cool huh. mat rips nowadays know whats right and wrong oredi. hah! tmw i'll be mitin him and we go school together. haha. rite.

so far, sch was aite. kinda fun la. the seniors that act as a motivator of our class are all cool. one very the becok. wahaha. lookin forward to see hayat gettin beef wif our form teacher. haha. cabut skola lagi...

hmm. anw, there's another thing i wanna tok about. its bout Elizabeth. Elizabeth Hopes Grave. she's one of ma old fren in primary sch. well, we were close last time until secondary school time got us apart. its been real long since we last met. there this one day, we met at wlds interchange coincidencely. she saw me and was like, 'NIZAM!!!'. i was paisey sia. she shouted ma name like nobody's business. and she suddenly hugged me. we chat for some time when suddenly, i was told by her that she's leavin dis country and will never come back. she's migratin. at china. she's eurasion anw. her dad got a business there. they're filthy rich sia. anw, i was shocked bout the news and i was speechless then.

blah3, days passed and the day she'll b leavin has come. it was yesterday. i came down to the airport to see her off. it was so an emotional day for me. and to everyone else there too. Elizabeth cried so many times. she juz cant expect that she's actually leavin and not returnin. den like, one time, all of her frens give her a big hug together. me and sopo joined. some cried and some juz really cryin. nathan, her bro, cried real bad too. his frens were present too. he's from admiralty sec. seen some familiar faces there. blah3, it was time for her to leave. we all juz tried to juz gave some smile to her. we waved at her till she's out of sight. i was cryin too sia somehow. haiz. were gettin emo and stuff. haiz...

i juz cant take the blow. it was like so long we didnt meet up and when we do, she had to leave! we didnt even have the time to catch things up. haiz. but, in a way or another, we promised to keep in touch thru email. hmm. will be missin her alot. will never forget her for sho.....

anw, talkin bout migratin... maybe... MAYBE... in two years time or so, i'll be migratin too. well, ma adek sdare will be migratin to austrailia and studyin there. her mom, which is ma mum's sis, will send her there after she finish her PSLE. and ma another adek sdare, 15 dis year, after her o's, her mom will send her there too. soon, the whole fam will den move to austrailia. at the same time, i was asked to further ma studies there too. migratin as well. but i haven gave ma makcik the answer yet. she expect me to go anw. rite. but to me, i duno. im still considerin. well i got two years to think bout it...

hmm... wat do you all think? shud i juz go and spent the rest of ma life there or stay and bein wif you guys? as for me, i wanna study there but at the same time, beloved frens of mine is all here in SG. arfah and everybody are here. damn. but im juz afraid if things got me left no choice that i still have to go. haiz. let's see the verdict when the time comes...

i think dats all for the day to say about. thx for readin ma entry...

and to apen, im all a go-go. first price PSP? no sweat bro. the game is on...
and fyi, this is not the longest yet...

tc ppl...